Page 57 of The Catalyst

The rage is building simply because he's talking about her like she's a loose cannon waiting to explode. They even said it was similar to how I am and I haven't killed anyone who wasn't already on the chopping block, except…

No, don't go there.

She's not a bomb waiting to go off.

They don't treat me with these kid gloves like they are her. Why? Because she's a woman. Their internalized misogyny is showing. A psychotic man is more emotional and more likely to snap than a psychotic woman. Women use logic more than emotion, contrary to popular belief. Their thought process is full of propaganda spread by the patriarchy and I can say that and not look crazy because I'm one of those that benefit from that system.

People are scared of me. That's a simple fact, but people are more scared of a woman who has reached her tipping point than they are of me. It's a sad truth, but still true.

I watch Beth closely as she bends over to place a dish in the washing machine. My cock pulses in my jeans as I catch sight of her bare cunt, full of my come and hers. She wanted to take a shower after I fucked her, but I told her if she did that I would punish her all night. I wanted her to walk away with the evidence of our fuck still on her.

I can't fucking wait to fuck her again and very few things bring on that sense of anticipation.

I don't go back for seconds. I never have…until now. It was never an option before, but even if it was, I wouldn't have taken it. Sex was just something I used to take the edge off and quell the bloodlust. It's different with Bethany Mercer. I don't just want seconds. I want thirds, fourths, and fifths. I want to take her to my bed and never let her leave. I want to keep her so full of me that she never wants anyone else.

She drops the dish towel on the kitchen counter before walking into the living room. She walks right up to Ronan and places her hand on his shoulder. Her movements were so quiet that he jumps in his seat and the man fucking squeals.

I barely refrain from laughing, but I can't say that for anyone else. The room fills with the sound coming from Beth and the others.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," she cackles as she clutches her stomach.

"I wasn't scared!" Ro deflects. "It was…it was a cough, okay?"

"Sure, it was, dumbass." Charlie slaps his shoulder.

"Itwas!"

Beth rolls her eyes before she mutters, "I'm headed to bed now. I just wanted to ask if you know how long Nigel is going to be gone."

Everyone falls silent and I think we all know why. There hasn't been any type of confirmation of what Nigel is doing or where he is, but this is the first time he's ever disappeared like this, especially with his girlfriend sleeping under our roof. We know he gave her the excuse that he's helping a friend out, but considering he wouldn't tell any of us, it's assumed that it's because he doesn't want to risk any of us letting it slip to her.

He doesn't have friends outside of Grove Hill and if the "friend" he was "helping" was in town, he wouldn't be sleeping anywhere else.

We all know what that means, but none of us will say it. However, it does explain why he doesn't have an issue with me fucking his girlfriend. Clearly, he's not as invested in their relationship as he makes everyone believe.

She's just a piece of property to him…and that pisses me the fuck off. I shouldn't be involved or invested in one way or another, but the truth is I am. Nigel is my best friend and she's his girlfriend. If I keep going down this path, it's going to be cataclysmic for all three of us.

"He said it would be a week, maybe two," Charlie answers with a snarky smirk on his face. I swear, if he says something asshole-worthy, I'm going to hurt him. "Why? Are you worried he's getting his fill somewhere else?"

Beth laughs as if the question is ridiculous. "I mean, the thought did cross my mind, but it would just be his loss if he did."

"Why?" Charlie seems genuinely confused by her lack of concern.

I just find it very telling.

"Because he knows what will happen if he screws around on me. If there is one thing I've learned about Nigel, it's that it would be his worst nightmare if I disappeared in the dead of night, never to be seen again, and he woke up with his balls stapled to his forehead. He rather likes his balls where they are. I mean, he's stupid, but not stupid enough to risk it. I'm sure you can understand his reluctance, right?"

Well, that's one way to command a man's fidelity. The way she says it makes her words believable. She would do it, even if it put her life in danger.

"Anyway, I'm off to bed," she announces before turning and walking toward the stairs.

Maybe I'm an asshole, but I really want to see how she would react. "Goodnight, sweetheart," I annunciate the pet name and she freezes as the guys look at me like I have a death wish.

Maybe I do. Maybe I want her to put me in my place. Maybe I want to see her lose her grip on the control she holds onto so tightly. I want to see what resides behind the veil and the darkness that exists inside her.

She turns her head and looks me dead in the eye as I wink at her, waiting to see what she'll do.

I see it there, the need for destruction and the craving for depravity, but it's still under lock and key. Not quite hitting the boiling point.

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