Page 219 of The Catalyst

“Mentally prepared? No, but we have a deal. I want to get this over with, so a month is good enough.” My next words taste sour on my tongue, and I only push them out because I have to play this game right, or Rian’s life will be on the line. “Thank you for giving me the sufficient time to grieve.”

“You’ll have to excuse Beth. She recently suffered a horrible miscarriage,” Martin says, and it's almost like he wants to seem unaffected, but the guilt is clear on his face.

It’s not your fault, Martin. None of this was ever your fault.

He knows Rian is alive. I made sure Judy passed the message of his birth along while going with the language I instructed her to use just in case Nolan had a tap on Martin’s phone. Martin is acting as a shield for my son and I’ll always be grateful for that.

“Oh, no!” Carmen gasps before turning to me and snatching my hand, the cutlery clinking against the ceramic plate. “Don’t you worry, bonita. You’ll have another baby. A beautiful little girl with green eyes and curly blonde hair. She looks so much like you.”

Nolan and Martin stare at her like she’s the village freak, but not me. It’s clear from the passion in her eyes that she truly believes what she is saying. The truth, or lack thereof, in her words, matters not. The only thing that ever matters is if you believe the words you speak. If you believe them, others will, too. The fact that she thinks that would soothe a woman craving her child irks me. A new baby cannot replace one that’s been lost.

I force a small smile and nod, letting her know I appreciate the support. If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all, right?

“It’s been a pleasure as always, Carmen, but if you excuse us, Miss Mercer and I have some business to attend to,” Nolan mutters as he stands to his feet, buttoning up his blazer effortlessly.

If he were in a bad mood, I would feign exhaustion, but I’m oddly calm as Nolan offers me his hand like an olive branch. On the inside, I recoil from the prospect of him touching me, but I have to play this game and keep him calm. If he’s calm, he won’t hurt me or discover the secret hidden beneath my dress.

“Good night, señor,” Carmen offers.

But, he grumbles under his breath. “I’m not a senior.”

It takes me a moment to grasp what he said, and when I do, I snort out a laugh, strolling out of the dining room with Lucifer incarnate. The fact that he was so ignorant to not know that señor is a term of respect and not “senior” with flair made me laugh. However, I think it makes him a real asshole that he has such disregard for Carmen’s native tongue not to learn a few basic phrases when he lives in an area highly populated by those who only speak Spanish.

Carmen has only been in America for a few weeks and never spoke English before coming here. It takes dedication to learn a new language as quickly as she has. She’s very intelligent.

Nolan must mistake my snicker for something more than just simply laughing at his stupidity because he grins at me, and it brings a light to his eyes I’ve never seen.

It’s confusing and disgusting that he shines it at me. I don’t want it. I’d rather snuff out any light he might have in his life than be the cause of even a flicker.

I turn my gaze away from him as he guides me to his office and shuts the door on his way to his sofa. Maybe I’m only mildly at ease because of the wine flowing in my veins.

“I wanted to discuss the housing issue,” he offers as he leaves me on the couch and heads for his liquor stash.

“In Grove Hill?” I didn’t realize there was a housing issue.

“No, I was referring to you living in a hotel.” Grabbing two short glasses, he drops ice cubes into them before moving onto the decanter full of amber liquid he favors any time we’ve had a private conversation.

“Motel.”

“Huh?”

“Motel. When the rooms face the outside, it’s a motel. When they face the inside of the establishment, it’s a hotel. I live in a motel to avoid sharing space with my mother, who is a recovering alcoholic, and I live there with Ollie.” Crossing my legs, I straighten my posture to show that he can’t rattle me anymore.

His eyes narrow with confusion. “Ollie?”

“Oliver Doyle. He doesn’t want me living there alone, and the last time he left me alone there for more than an hour, you killed our baby. He’s not moving back to the Bastard house until the wedding.”

Then, something I thought was completely impossible happened. Nolan Gray pales. That’s one thing he’s scared of, and that thing is my Ollie.

I grin on the inside like the Cheshire Cat and cackle like the Joker.

Everyone who isn’t completely insane or knows him down to his core fears him, but Nolan has a very different reason for that. He knows Ollie knows about their connection and the fact that he could spill the beans makes him dangerous in Nolan’s eyes.

In a beat, Nolan drains his glass before slamming it down on the hardwood bar. “Does he know?”

A slow grin pulls at my lips before I say, “We have no secrets.”

He tries to hide it by looking away, but I catch the stench of fear coming off him in waves.

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