Page 215 of The Catalyst

His head snaps around, and his eyes settle on me before he relaxes.

“He started fussing, and I didn’t want him to wake you,” I explain as I stroke Rian’s spine. Poor baby is so hungry.

He releases a long breath full of anxiety. He was worried about Rian. My heart squeezes.

“How did you sleep?” he asks as he runs a tired hand down his face. He probably got less sleep than I did. He was tending to our son.

“I got enough. My body still hurts, and my vagina will be out of commission for a while, but I’ll survive.” I shrug nonchalantly, trying to play it off, but my pussy is so tender and swollen that I worry I might need stitches from giving birth. Granted, it might not feel so bad if I had an epidural, but those aren’t offered in the home-birth package. “I didn’t think you could be so paternal, Daddy,” I tease him as Rian pushes my boob away, signaling that he’s done feeding. I fix my shirt back over my tit before putting the burping blanket over my shoulder. Leaning Rian against my shoulder, I gently rub his back, carefully working any air bubbles out of his gut.

“I’m not,” he grumbles as he sits up, rubbing the back of his neck.

“You had him sleeping on your chest. I’ve only ever seen you be that soft with me.”

His eyes darken as he sits up, taking on a highly irritated expression. Suddenly, his face relaxes before he stands and walks over to me. Leaning in, he kisses my forehead softly before rubbing Rian’s head gently.

“Think what you want, baby. As long as you know I’d kill anyone for you and the semen demon, I don’t care how you describe it. You’re mine, and so is he.” Then, he pulls away and grabs the bassinet before heading back to the bedroom. A flush rises up my cheeks from his sweet yet psychotic words, and Rian lets out a mild burp before whining against my shoulder. Instinctively, I know that our son just wants his dad.

“Me, too, little guy. Me, too,” I mutter as I stand and follow Ollie back to the bedroom.

* * *

Rian coosas he lays on the blanket by the stream behind our cabin, and Ollie’s arms tighten around me.

“You okay?” he whispers in my ear, but his words just tighten the knife turning in my chest.

“No,” I whimper as I look down on Rian. He seems so content even as he wiggles around on the blanket. Based on my research about babies, Rian’s development isn’t normal, but he’s been wiggling and flopping around like a fish since the day he was born. At first, it was a struggle, but he’s been gaining muscle and moving around more. The only time he stops doing that is when Oliver holds him. Sometimes, he stays still with me, but most of the time, he fights.

I bet he’ll start walking early. He’s going to be so energetic.

“It’s almost time.” My voice breaks, and my lip trembles.

Oliver knows what I mean. It’s almost time for me to leave, and I don’t want to. Leaving here means leaving our son. It’s going to break me to walk away from Rian, knowing it will be a while before I see him again.

“I know.” I almost don’t catch his words. He says them so softly.

“I knew it was coming. I just…I don’t want to leave him. He’s just a baby, Oliver, and I–I…I–”

His arms tighten around my frame, and the tears fall down my face. “It’s okay. It’s going to hurt, but it’s notgoodbye. It’ssee you later. This is temporary.” He presses his lips to my cheek as I fall into his touch, not pulling my eyes away from Rian.

“It’s temporary,” I repeat his words. “It has to happen. It’s the only way to keep him safe. We’ll be together again someday.”

“Exactly.”

I pick up Rian off the blanket and pull him into my chest with a relieved sigh at feeling the skin of his hand on my bare shoulder. He coos as he wiggles against me, and Oliver wraps us in his strong arms, which calms the baby down. I kiss the top of my son’s head as his father strokes the patch of curls along Rian’s neck. It seems like something he does unconsciously. He’s done a lot of things like that, like getting up in the middle of the night to check on Rian even though he’s sleeping peacefully in his bassinet or pressing his hand on Rian’s stomach anytime he starts to fuss for seemingly no real reason.

It’s all small things, but after so many, they build up and leave only one reason for them to occur. Oliver loves Rian and wants to protect him as much as I do. He’s scared for our son and is worried he won’t be able to protect him if he’s not here with him.

Oliver Doyle is a natural disaster. Tornados, hurricanes, and tsunamis have nothing on his rage when someone hurts a person he cares about, none more than me and our son. He’d kill anyone, even sacrifice his own life, to protect us. If that doesn’t scream love, I don’t know what does.

* * *

My heart achesas I hug Rian as an infant for the last time. He’s so tiny. I just gave birth to him a month ago, and now it’s time to say goodbye. Like Ollie said, it’s not forever, and I’ll see him when Judy brings him back to Grove Hill, but he’ll be there not as my son but hers. No one will know outside of the people present that this baby is my son.

Ronan and Judy will pretend that Rian is their child, and when my deal is over, Oliver and I will take Rian and raise our son the way it should’ve been. We may have to leave Grove Hill to keep him safe from Nolan, but no matter what, at least we’ll be together.

I’ve done everything I can to conceal my postpartum body. I’ve been working out these past four weeks, trying to firm my stomach back up. Vera gave me a binder, which has helped a lot, but I know someone in the Gray Mansion will figure it out because I can’t hide my stretch marks. Luckily, I don’t have as many as some women, probably because of how tiny Rian is. I wasn’t showing much until two months before I gave birth. The marks are still noticeable.

Vera said cocoa butter helps minimize the appearance of stretch marks, so I’ve been using that.

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