Page 204 of The Catalyst

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Martin strokesmy cheek and presses soft kisses on my face from my forehead down to my chin as I enjoy all the affection. We’ve been lying here awake for an hour, but we haven’t said anything. Ollie is still asleep and like he said before we laid down, he has to get up for work in a bit.

Ollie’s arm falls away from my waist as he turns over and Martin takes the opportunity to pull me into him, pressing his forehead against mine.

“How are you still pregnant?” he whispers softly. “I thought you had a miscarriage.”

I smirk. “I guess I got lucky. Even the doctor said it was a miracle that Rian didn’t die. He’s a resilient one.”

Martin rubs my stomach as his gaze drifts down to the massive beach ball under my shirt. “How much longer do you have?”

“Two weeks until it’s safe to deliver without a hospital, but four weeks until I’m full-term. We've been hoping to make it for two weeks because a hospital spells trouble. That’s how your father found out about him in the first place.”

We both know if Nolan finds out that I outsmarted him, he won’t just kill Rian, but me as well. Probably also Ollie. All of our lives will be in danger if I don’t keep this under wraps.

“Is he healthy?” Martin asks, keeping his voice low.

I nod with a smile across my face. “Happy, healthy, and big.”

“Good. That’s what truly matters.”

Just then, my son lets out a hard kick against Martin’s hand and he smirks from the move.

“And, he’s very expressive. I think he agrees with you.”

“Either that or he’s territorial over his temporary home and doesn’t like me touching your belly,” Martin retorts.

“That’s a possibility, too.” I run my fingers through his hair, missing how it feels. Ollie’s and Martin’s hair have very different textures. While Ollie’s hair is a little coarse and curly, Martin’s is smooth and thick while soft. I love the way both of their hair feels, but the way Martin’s strands slip through my fingers is truly relaxing. “How long can you stay?” I ask.

He frowns. “I’ll have to leave tomorrow. My father thinks I’m on a road trip with some friends. That only gives me so much time before he gets suspicious.”

My heart aches knowing I only have so much time with him before he has to leave. “I wish you could stay, but I get it. This whole situation sucks.”

“When you come back to Grove Hill, you’ll get to spend all the time in the world with me, okay?”

I feel so damn selfish because I want to keep both him and Ollie, but I know I can’t. I don’t know what kind of alternative Nolan will want to put in place for me giving them an heir since Michael practically neutered himself, but I can’t drag Martin along having to watch me be with his brother. That would be plain cruel.

I have to let him go.

I run my knuckles down his jaw before I speak. “I love you, Martin. You know that, right?”

His eyes narrow with suspicion. “Why do I feel a but coming on?”

Because there is one. I give a smile to mask the pain radiating through my heart. “Because once I have this baby and I recover enough to come back, I’ll have to marry your brother.Yourbrother, Martin. I know the pain of watching someone you love be with someone else. It’s something I wouldn’t wish on anyone, definitely not you. So, after you leave, I want you to try not to love me. I want you to try with everything in you to love someone else and be happy. I don’t want you to suffer alongside me, my love. Can you do that for me? If you don’t love me, my marriage won’t hurt you and neither can your father. He won’t be able to use me as a weapon to hurt you. That’s what I need you to do, okay?”

Instead of giving me an answer, he delivers the most passionate kiss he has ever given me, one full of longing and desperation. It hurts my soul.

He presses his temple against mine as he releases the kiss. “Goddamn you, little rabbit. How could you ask such an impossible thing of me? I have loved you since that night in the bar. I didn’t want to, but I did. You’re in my fucking bones. I don’t think I’m capable of doing anything except loving you with every drop of blood in my body.”

Tears fall down my face as I say, “That’s what it means to love someone. You put their needs first and this is something you need to do. Either that or I’ll just be hurting you. I don’t want to do that. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.”

He slowly nods before kissing me again. “Fuck, woman. Now, I definitely want you to ride me since I won’t have the chance to do it for a while, but I don’t think it’s safe at this stage.”

I smirk up at him. “Oh, it’s safe. He’s perfectly content and won’t even notice or that’s what my doula says.”

Mischief shines in his eyes as he rolls us over so I’m on top of him. I sit up, grinding myself against him through his boxers while slipping off my robe, revealing my fully naked body to him. I’m not embarrassed by how my body has changed throughout my pregnancy. My breasts are bigger, my stomach is massive, and I’ve got extra meat on my bones in every place that matters.

“Fuck. You’re perfect.” Martin shoves down his boxers as he lays kisses across the swell of my breasts.

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