Page 195 of The Catalyst

I’ve never lied so much in my life, but at least once we leave town, Rian will be safe. It’s going to be an uphill battle until my contract is up. Rian will have to stay hidden from Nolan, but once he’s born, he’ll have a line of defense outside of just me. The Bastards will keep him safe.

“Ohh. Yes, your health should take priority then.” Principal Conway takes my textbooks, and I separate all of my personal notes and belongings from the bits that are school property. “Good luck, Miss Mercer.”

I nod as I slip all the papers into my backpack and pull it over my shoulder as the bell sounds. Hundreds of students fill the hall within seconds, and I take a deep breath, knowing I’ll either never come back here again or I won’t be back until Rian is in high school. I won’t know these students or the teachers I never wanted to form a connection with. When I arrived in Grove Hill, I didn’t want to stick around past graduation, but I’m stuck now. I’m never leaving, and it’s not of my own choice. Even if it was, I would stay. My plans changed when I fell in love with Oliver and then for Martin. Now, I have Rian and the deal with Nolan. I can’t leave, not ever.

I lift my head and start down the hall, moving between bodies who don’t even notice me leaving until my eyes land on something. On the surface, it’s innocent, seeing Nigel leaning over a girl with her back pressed against the locker, talking animatedly, but from the expression on his face, I know he’s flirting with her, and from the blush on her cheeks, she’s eating it up.

I haven’t seen him since the day he said those horrible things to me, and from what Ollie said, Nigel has been suffering, but Nigel doesn’t look like he cares what happened between us at all. In fact, he seems mighty happy with this girl getting her paws all over him.

Good for him. I hope he is happy. Genuinely. I want him to find whatever brings him joy and for him to find a love that doesn’t do to him what ours did. It turned him into someone he isn’t.

He deserves better.

As if he can feel my gaze on him, his eyes slowly meet mine, and that same glare he gave me when he dumped me returns. I barely hold his stare and keep myself in one piece as I walk right past him, letting myself lose the ocular standoff.

I made the decision to go into that agreement, knowing full well that Nigel would hate me for it, and that’s okay. I can go the rest of my life knowing he’ll be okay. I also know what it feels like to be hated by him. The latter sucks donkey balls.

I just want to hug him and tell him how sorry I am, but it won’t change anything. As a matter of fact, it might make everything worse.

I continue down the hall until I make it to the front door. Pushing them open, I step outside, the oxygen struggling no matter the path it chooses. In and out are just as difficult. It doesn’t feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It is quite the opposite. The entire world sits upon my shoulders, pushing me further into the ground until I can’t feel anything except the pain of it all.

I climb into the car, and the only thing that relieves the pressure is Oliver’s fingers wrapping around my hand.

“Everything okay?” he asks.

For no reason in particular, I laugh before shaking my head. “Everything isnotokay, but I’ll survive. That’s what I do. Isurvive.”

He nods as I reach into my pocket and pull out the tiny scrap of paper, unfolding it to reveal a nail I never expected to be hammered in the coffin.

A note from Nigel.

Whatever helps you sleep at night, butterfly.

—O’Reilly

It takes every ounce of self-control I have not to crumble right there. My heart aches from the jab he took at me.

Whatever helps you sleep at night?

He doesn’t believe I didn’t have any other choice. I don’t know when he put that note in my locker, but I have the distinct feeling Nigel will never call me by that nickname ever again. This is the very last time, so I shove the note in my pocket for safekeeping.

I have no clue why he even started calling me that. He never told me, no matter how many times I asked. I guess some questions are never meant to be answered.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and send Martin a quick text of farewell before shutting off the device. We should’ve told Martin the truth. He deserved to know, but this secret is much bigger than where Casey is. All it will take is the wrong person knowing and Nolan will track me down.

And, it sucks because we’ve already been down this road.

CHAPTER 77

BETH

It takes three and a half days to make it from Grove Hill to the edge of Montana. We took breaks for meals and sleep, but considering Ollie doesn’t want me to drive, we couldn’t cut the trip any shorter.

“We could’ve taken the bus or a plane,” I mutter as I hug my blanket around my body.

“Yeah, then the Grays would’ve known where you were going and could check in on you. I doubt a hospital would’ve sent you commercially anyway.”

He has a point, but I hate how long this is taking. “Long drives don’t agree with pregnant women. I might go into early labor,” I tease, and he grips my leg tighter, his silent warning to stop being such a brat. I really like bratting him, though. It’s fun getting under his skin since he doesn’t let much affect him. I do, though, and that gives me butterflies.

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