Page 62 of A First Sight

Badly.

So I promised to stay away in the letter, and I had.

It grew harder every day. What kept me in check was her expression the last time I saw her. I would do anything, give anything, to prevent her from feeling that way again.

So, I had gone back to old habits. I was used to this sort of existence. The bleakness of routine and the inability to find joy in anything. It would fade, and eventually, I would enjoy things again.

Caught up in my pity party, I almost didn’t hear the knock on my door.

“Come in.” I fixed my face into what I hoped was a realistically professional expression.

“Good afternoon.”

“Uncle Ben.” I allowed my surprise to show. “I didn’t realize you were coming in today.”

“I hadn’t planned to,” he said as he took a seat across from me. “But it seemed like the only way I could get to talk to you.”

There was no missing his meaning. I opened my mouth to argue and then shut it. While I wasn’t actively avoiding him, he wasn’t entirely wrong, either.

“I know you’re probably upset with Stellan and me for–”

“I’m not upset with you and Stellan.” His claim surprised me into interrupting him. “I’m sorry if it seemed that way.”

The relief on my uncle’s face sent another wave of guilt washing over me. I never meant to make them feel like they did something wrong. The only one who had fucked up in this whole situation was me.

“We’re worried about you,” Uncle Ben said. “You’re working insane hours, barely taking the time for lunch.”

“I took an entire hour today,” I pointed out.

“Yes, Mel told me.”

I had a feeling that wasn’t all Mel had told him, but I wasn’t angry. They were all concerned.

“Have you reached out to her?” I couldn’t tell from his voice if he thought it was a good idea or not.

I nodded, decided to tell as much of the truth as I could stomach. “I sent her a letter apologizing for my behavior, and I promised to stay away. Said that I would be here if she wished to talk to me.”

“You truly cared for her.” He made it a statement rather than a question.

“Aye,” I said, not looking at him. “I still do.”

After a moment of silence, he stood. “If you need to talk, we’re here for you. You’re not alone in this.”

I nodded to show that I heard him, but as he left, I didn’t say what I thought about his last statement. He was wrong. I was alone, and I deserved to be.

FORTY-SIX

MAGGIE

I could do this.

Ihadto do this.

I had to bring myself to go back to rehearsal now, or I’d never do it. Nehemiah had called me to ask if I was ready to come back.

The thought of seeing Dale again made me sick to my stomach, but there was nothing I could do. Thanks to the prosecutor’s plea deal, the assault charges had been settled. At least, I still had charges in place for the destruction of property.

It would take months. A simple destruction of property case didn’t take top priority on the force.

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