Page 19 of Strangers in Love

“I don’toweyou anything,” I said, glaring at him. “I don’t oweanyone.”

He sneered. “You cunts are all the same. Get a man worked up and leave him high and dry.” He leaned toward me. “I’ve had blue balls from the first time I saw that sweet ass of yours. Time to pay up.”

I saw what he was going to do, and for the first time in my life, I snapped. My hand shot out, the palm connecting with his cheek hard enough to make my hand hurt. His head snapped to the side, and his skin turned pink, first from the slap, but immediately followed by what I recognized as an angry flush.

I should have been scared when he looked at me again. He was furious, and even though he wasn’t a big guy, he was bigger than me. And Freedom wasn’t here.

But I wasn’t scared, and it wasn’t only because I knew some self-defense.

He was a bully. A coward who’d waited until my sister wasn’t around and then tried to intimidate me physically and by invoking the usual misogynistic crap men had been using against women since the beginning of time.

“No,” I said firmly. I pointed at him, my finger only an inch or two from his chest. “I’m not here for your enjoyment. I belong to no one but myself. I’m responsible only for myself, for who and what I choose. I don’t choose you. I have donenothingto suggest that I’m interested in you.”

“You smiled at me, talked to me–”

“No!” I raised my voice as I would for a spoiled brat who sounded as petulant as he did. “You don’t get to decide what I meant by a polite smile, by the same small talk I made with every other person here. You don’t have the right to make assumptions and act accordingly.”

He’d taken a step back when I’d interrupted him, and now he looked unsettled, as if he wasn’t sure what to do now that I was pushing back. If I’d been like Freedom, in his face right from the start, maybe he would’ve just left me alone. Even if he hadn’t, though, he probably wouldn’t have been so surprised by my reaction now.

“You’re going to–” he began.

I cut him off again. “You’re going to leave my room, and I’m never going to see you again. You’re not even going to see me off tomorrow.”

“And if I don’t want to go?” He stuck out his chin like some defiant two-year-old having a temper tantrum.

“Then I’ll make sure Miss Little knows about this whole conversation,” I said. “And she won’t be the only one. I’ll make sure the information goes public. You’ll never get another teaching job.”

“You can’t do that.”

I took a step toward him, and he moved back another few inches. “I can. My family has all the connections I’d need to ruin your life.” I pointed toward the door. “Out.”

As he left, I heard him muttering about me, but I didn’t really care. I shut the door behind him and locked it. Then I pushed the room’s small cabinet in front of the door. I’d hear him if he tried to get in, but I didn’t think he’d do anything so bold or dangerous. He wouldn’t want to risk his behavior getting known back home.

Suddenly, I was looking forward to seeing Freedom again, to getting back to California, and moving on with the next stage of my life.

Fifteen

Eoin

I’d been back homein San Ramon for a few weeks, but it felt nothing like how it had when I moved back after leaving the army, even though less than half a year had passed since that brutal day. For the first time since I’d woken up in that hospital in Germany, I felt…awake. Not quite alive, but awake was enough.

The change had been thanks to Evanne. Working with Alec and Brody to find Keli and Evanne, to get my niece back to her father, had kept me from drowning in darkness. The need to save Evanne – even if she hadn’t exactly been in danger – had been stronger than anything else. Since then, I hadn’t let myself fall back into the pit I’d been in.

And I’d started thinking about where things might go from here. I may have felt like I was a million years old, but I wasn’t even thirty. No matter how much it hurt, I still had decades to live, and I owed it to the men who hadn’t made it home to do something with my life. Especially Leo. I might not have known some of the other men well enough to have said for certain what they would’ve wanted me to do, but Leo, I knew as well as I knew myself. He would’ve busted my ass if he’d seen me wasting my life.

Not that it really made me feel better, making plans for my future. Survivor’s guilt was a real bitch. It didn’t matter if I wasn’t doing anything or if I’d made all sorts of plans. I was either wasting my life or being disrespectful.

I was still working on dealing with all that shit, but the idea that had been dancing around in my head for the last couple weeks was helping. It was something that could contribute to society, help people, make a difference. I could use the skills I’d learned in the army and learn some new ones.

I hadn’t, however, told anyone about it yet, which meant I didn’t really have anything to contribute to the dinner conversation going on around me.

My youngest stepsister, Aspen Carideo, had arrived this afternoon, coming home after three months in France. She hadn’t said how long she was staying, or even if she meant to stay in San Ramon. She didn’t have an apartment here, and Mom never would’ve let Aspen stay in a hotel, so she’d be back in her old room just like I was.

The two of us were only two years apart in age, but she’d always been serious and quiet, not very social, so we hadn’t been really close, but we hadn’t fought either. At least I didn’t have to worry about her bombarding me with questions about how I was doing. That wasn’t her style.

“After dinner, you’ll have to help me find the perfect place for that Renoir,” Mom said as she passed the salt to Aspen. “Patrick is absolutely no help when it comes to things like that.”

Da smiled at her. “Who am I to argue in the face of logic?”

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