Page 80 of Strangers in Love

Maybe if I convinced Freedom of that and promised that I would do better from here on out, she’d keep my secret.

I had the cab drop me off at the end of the driveway, both to prevent the possibility of waking my parents and to give myself a few more minutes alone to mentally prepare for any encounter.

Freedom was waiting on the living room sofa, the only light coming from the small lamp on the table next to it. If I hadn’t known how things had gone between us last night, I might’ve thought she’d just fallen asleep reading a book or watching a movie on her phone. She wasn’t sleeping, though. I couldn’t tell if she’d already been awake or if my coming in had done it, but either way, she was sitting up with an expectant look on her face when I stepped into the room.

On my way here, I’d decided that a preemptive strike would work best, so before she could say anything, I held up a hand. “Eoin and I are done. It was foolish of me to get involved with him.”

I didn’t add anything more but rather waited to see if that would satisfy my sister or if she’d ask questions to force me to reveal his rude and humiliating dismissal. I could handle anI told you so, but I really didn’t want to tell the story.

I could feel the pain in my heart, waiting for acknowledgment. As long as I didn’t give it space in my head, I could pretend that it didn’t exist. Normally, I’d have an argument against denial, stating that a person could only truly begin to heal after they had admitted to the heartbreak in the first place, but since this wasn’t heartbreak, I wasn’t in denial. It was more…disappointment. I’d had no delusions about true love and a wonderful future together.

Not that I wanted that. Definitely not now, and maybe not ever. I had plans for my life, and they didn’t include being treated poorly by an emotionally stunted and immature man lacking in social skills and basic etiquette.

It’s said that the opposite of love isn’t hate, but rather indifference. In my mind, the fact that I took no pleasure in criticizing him was proof that I wasn’t emotionally involved beyond the ‘I thought he was a decent man’ way of thinking.

“Go change your clothes and then come back down. We’re going to make Mom and Dad breakfast.”

The words may have been bossy, but her tone was almost flat. I didn’t know if it was because she was upset with me about leaving last night or she was simply tired, but if she was willing to move on without a discussion, then I was more than willing to go along.

I did, however, have to tell her one very important thing. “I’d prefer not to talk about anything that’s happened since you went into the hospital for your appendix. I just want to focus on Thanksgiving with our family. Anything else can wait until after.”

She nodded. “I agree.”

When she didn’t seem inclined to add anything, I left her there and made my way to my room. A part of me didn’t like that she’d essentially decided that my ‘punishment’ for leaving would be to lose some sleep, but it honestly wasn’t worth the argument right now. Not when it could seriously mess up Thanksgiving.

Besides, we had enough coming up that could possibly cause conflict. We didn’t need any help in that department. The ‘anything else’ I’d mentioned included a conversation we’d originally planned to have on the flight home from Iran.

Freedom and I had been sharing an apartment in Stanford while we’d gone to school, but because of our trip, we’d put off discussing what our post-graduation, post-trip plans were. Both of us were in fields where it’d made sense for us to work straight through to a master’s degree rather than taking some time or dropping to part-time after receiving our bachelor’s.

Pursuing a doctorate wasn’t necessary, at the moment, for either of us, but it wouldn’t hurt our job prospects either. Over the last couple years, we’d both been looking forward to finally being done, but that didn’t mean that things hadn’t changed.

Especially now.

Before, I’d been one hundred percent certain that I would spend the time after our trip leisurely considering various job prospects all over the country. I’d been ready for adventure and a new start, away from the college where I’d been an anomaly. I’d be the same age as most teachers taking on their first classroom, though the majority of those would only have their bachelor’s degree. But, if I didn’t talk about it, only people who’d seen my resumé would know. I’d just be a ‘normal’ young educator.

Now, however, no matter how much I might’ve complained about my family being overprotective and stifling, there was something to be said for the safety of familiarity. Going back to our apartment, returning to being a student, none of it would require much in the way of courage, especially since I had no doubt that if I went, Freedom would too.

Once I regained my senses in an hour or two, I was sure I’d laugh at the idea. What I really didn’t know, however, was how much things had changed for Freedom during all of this. Had she already been making her own plans?

Would she stay at Stanford and work for her advisor, Dr. Ipres? Look for a faculty position? She’d talked about pursuing work at an American embassy somewhere overseas, but had that changed after her experiences in Iran?

A sudden thought hit me hard enough to make my steps falter for a moment.

Had the choice I’d pushed my sister into made her give up something she’d genuinely wanted to do?

As I changed out of my dirty clothes and into something clean and more comfortable, I made a promise that when Freedom and I finally talked about what came next, I’d make sure she knew I wasn’t expecting her to sacrifice what she wanted for me.

I’d change my family’s opinion of me and prove that I was stronger than they thought I was. Things were going to be different from here on out.

Fifty-Three

Eoin

We spentthe beginning of the flight putting together information, taking stock of everything we had, and coming up with a plan. Well, two plans for me, technically. The other guys didn’t know about the information I was filing away for other possible use. If we took out the entire group when we went in to get the hostages, then I wouldn’t need to use it, but I wanted to have a back-up plan in case that wasn’t the way things went.

I was honestly surprised that Cain hadn’t said anything during the briefing, but he’d kept his mouth shut. It was probably a test, seeing how I handled the situation.

I wouldn’t put my team or the hostages at risk by putting my need for justice above their safety because I knew none of the men who’d been with me that day would want that, but I wasn’t concerned about my own safety. Yeah, I felt guilty for thinking that way when I knew how much it’d hurt my parents to lose me, but I trusted Cain to tell them only about the mission to rescue the other hostages. He might curse me to hell and back if I died doing this, but he’d never tell my parents it’d been my choice. He understood something that only certain kinds of people could get.

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