Page 9 of The Master

“I’m upfront about it,” he continued. “Recording the sessions, I mean, but I don’t tell them which ones. If I did, they could easily refer to another encounter as being non-consensual. But I ask each one, and they all agree to it. I don’t get involved without having that agreement in place.”

“You give them a contract?” I asked.

“More or less.” His eyes finally met mine. “I can count on one hand the number of women I’ve slept with who I didn’t talk to about it, and the only one in more than a decade was you.”

A little thrill went through me despite the fact that I hadn’t yet decided how I felt about the conversation. It was definitely headed in the right direction, though.

“Do you ask them, or do youaskthem? Because we both know that your asking sounds an awful lot more like telling.”

One corner of his mouth tipped up, and some of the tension between us eased.

“There aren’t any cameras in my office or my home,” he added. “I don’t have sex at work, and I don’t take women home with me.”

“Except me.” I finished my cup of tea before asking, “Why me, then? Why was I different?”

“Because youaredifferent. Nothing is the same with you.”

“What about…” I stopped and changed direction. “The other thing that bothered me about what I saw was that you weren’t the only one…” I flushed. “I mean, that woman was having sex with a lot of men. I know you said you didn’t want to share me with other people, but it’s something you’ve enjoyed before. What if you change your mind?”

He reached across the table and took my hands in his. “You’re the only one I want, and I don’t want anyone else to have you.” He squeezed, his palms warm against my skin. “And that’s another reason why you don’t ever have to worry about me recording you. I’d never risk anyone else seeing it.”

I believed him. Maybe I was crazy, but I believed him.

But there was still something else I needed to know before I let out that particular piece of information.

“Are you going to get rid of the DVDs?”

He thought for a moment, and I appreciated the fact that he didn’t just sayyesbecause it was what I wanted him to say. I wanted his honesty more.

“For legal reasons, I don’t want to,” he said slowly, his grip on my hands tightening as if he was worried I’d pull away. “I still want to have them, just in case, but I have no desire to watch them.”

Okay, not the answer I’d hoped for, but it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

“I suggest a compromise,” he said.

“A compromise?”

“I’ll get a safe or fireproof box just for them, and you can set the combination code so you’ll know I can’t get to them.”

That wasn’t an entirely bad idea. I didn’t need the whole offer, though. The fact that he was willing told me enough.

“I like the idea of having them out of the way,” I admitted, “but I don’t need the combination. I trust that if you say they’re locked away and you’ll only ever use them if a situation requires it, that’s the truth of it.”

He’d apologized, explained, and offered a compromise. The hope I’d been trying to hold back moved a little closer to the surface. I hadn’t really understood before how much of a learning curve he needed too. He hadn’t done anything like this before, and mistakes and missteps should be expected. It was the change and the growth that made the difference. And it seemed like he wanted both of those things.

If he asked, I’d be willing to try again. Maybe it made me an idiot, but I didn’t have it in me to push him away.

Seven

Nate

I’d fully expectedher to refuse to go anywhere with me, and then when she’d said she’d meet me at Beulah’s, I’d thought she’d throw my apology back in my face and walk out. But she hadn’t. She’d let me explain and then she’d accepted my idea of a compromise.

I wasn’t used to things working like this. When a woman and I got into a fight, and one of us walked out like that, we were done. I certainly didn’t work things out so I could fix things with her. I did what I wanted when I wanted and how I wanted…until I met Ashlee, and she became the thing I wanted more than anything else.

“Are we…” I stopped mid-sentence. I wanted her, but I couldn’t put myself in that vulnerable place by asking the question. “Come home with me.”

One of her eyebrows went up. “Really?”

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