Page 40 of A Touch of Madness

Lucian stiffens against me, his entire body coiled with tension, but he doesn’t stop. He continues on as if he heard a warning but refuses to heed it. I feel his emotion, the war raging within him, the battle between the man and the beast, between reason and instinct.

“I love you, Lucian,”I tell him as he continues to feed, and I slowly start to fall back into bliss. But then, as if something has shocked his humanity, his hands tremble and they loosen their grip on my waist, just enough to show he’s fighting for control. Then, he stops.

All at once he stops sucking my skin, feeding from my vein. For a moment, he doesn’t move. His head remains bowed, his lips inches from my skin, the strain in him like a physical force. Then, slowly, he spins me around to face him and lifts his gaze to meet mine. His eyes are a storm of amber and black, torn between the hunger that drives him and the humanity that anchors him.

“I trust you,” I say, my voice steady despite the trembling in my hands.

The words seem to reach him, threading through the chaos in his mind like a lifeline. He exhales sharply, the tension in his frame easing slightly. The storm in his eyes softens, though the hunger doesn’t vanish entirely—it merely retreats, held at bay by sheer force of will.

“Forgive me,” he murmurs, his voice raw, like the scrape of steel against stone. “I?—”

“There is nothing to forgive. You didn’t lose control,” I interrupt gently, offering him a faint, reassuring smile as I cup the sides of his face. My blood runs down his chin, and I reach up and swipe it away as I feel a trickle run down my neck. “You’re so much stronger than you think.”

The guards exchange a glance and step back, lowering their daggers but remaining vigilant. The tension in the room eases, but the moment feels heavier now—charged with something deeper, more intimate.

My own breathing turns ragged again, my thoughts scattering as I lose myself in the moment as I look into his eyes. It’s more than just the physical act—it’s a connection, a tether between us that feels ancient and unbreakable. I can feel him, his emotions bleeding into mine, his longing and restraint and the undercurrent of something deeper—my love for him igniting with an uncontrollable fire I can’t ignore.

I don’t want to ignore.

The room seems to blur as the world narrows to just us. He growls softly, the sound vibrating against my skin. It’s possessive and unguarded, and it sends a shiver through me that has nothing to do with fear.

“Lucian,” I murmur again, the name a plea and a declaration all at once as I force him to look at me.

He inhales sharply, his lips stained crimson, his chest heaving as though he’s been holding his breath. His eyes glow faintly in the dim light, their intensity stealing what little composure I have left. “Sylvie,” he rasps, his voice raw and unsteady. “You… you’re extraordinary.”

My fingers brush against his jaw, and the smallest of smiles grace his lips. He leans into the contact, his eyes closing briefly, and when he opens them again, the tenderness in his gaze is almost enough to undo me.

“I feel it too,” I whisper, my voice trembling with the weight of everything unsaid. “Whatever this is between us… I feel it.” It’s almost as if my magic is responding to him. I’ve never felt anything like it.

His hand comes up to cover mine, pressing it gently against his cheek. “You’re everything, Sylvie,” he says, his voice barely more than a whisper. “And that terrifies me.”

I smile faintly, my thumb brushing against his skin. “Good,” I say, echoing his earlier words. “Because you terrify me too.”

He chuckles softly, the sound low and warm, and then he’s pulling me into his arms, holding me as though he might never let go. I rest my head against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart as the fire crackles softly in the background.

For the first time in what feels like forever, I feel whole—like every jagged piece of me has found its place. And as I close my eyes, I know with absolute certainty that whatever comes next, we’ll face it together.

“I love you, Sylvie. So much,” he says, and for the first time in a very long time…I believe in good things again.

“And I love you, Lucian,” I tell him—meaning every single word.

It’s the morning after our time at Midnight Delight and just about a week since I began training at the Witch’s Guild—testing the edges of my abilities and pushing myself in ways I didn’t think were possible. At first, it was slow, frustrating. The magic felt foreign, slippery, like trying to hold water in my hands. But now? Now, there’s a flicker of confidence surging through me. I’ve started to feel it, the strength simmering beneath the surface, waiting to be called. It’s not perfect, not yet, but it’s enough to make me believe I can do this. I have to.

It’s now or never because I feel something more coming. If we don’t do this, if we don’t infiltrate and act now, I think there will be an ending I don’t want—Solstice is growing stronger, and I fear for Lucian.

After the faction meeting at Crimson Veil a few nights ago, I met with Ravenna, Nicole, and Rebecca back at the apothecary shop. I told them about the plan that had been laid out before me. They were skeptical, of course. Ravenna’s sharp eyes narrowed the moment I brought up Viago’s name, and I knew what was coming before she even spoke.

“Viago doesn’t care about you,”she said, her voice clipped. “He cares about power. About winning. You’re a piece on his board, Sylvie. That’s it.”

“She’s right,” Nicole added, her tone more sympathetic but no less firm. “Viago’s not going to prioritize your part of this. If it comes down to helping you save Lara or securing his win against Solstice, he’ll choose himself every time.”

And yet,even as they voiced their doubts, I couldn’t bring myself to turn back. This isn’t just about Viago or even about stopping the Solstice Society. It’s about Lara. It’s about making sure her “death” wasn’t in vain—or better yet, making sure it isn’t permanent. I was going to do this anyway. I needed to get to the relic. So why not work with Lucian and the vampires in order to do so? Is there a better option?

“I still wantto go through with it,” I told them, my voice steady despite the weight of their disapproval. “Viago may have his own agenda, but this is the best chance we have. If the Mirror of Thorns is as powerful as they say, it’s worth the risk.”

Ravenna didn’t look convinced, but she sighed and nodded. “Then we’ll be there. I’ll speak with the elders and some of my colleagues and tell them of the urgency. I know they wanted you to practice longer, but I will let them know the vamps are going in and it’s now or never. I’m sure, even with haste, they’ll join us to perform the incantation. But Sylvie,” she added, her gaze piercing, “if this goes sideways, you’ll need to make a choice. Are you willing to sacrifice everything for this?”

The question lingersin my mind now as I prepare for what’s ahead. Am I willing to give everything? To lose everything? The truth is, I don’t know. But what I do know is that I can’t live with myself if I don’t try.

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