Page 48 of A Touch of Darkness

Lucian’s expression softens, but only for a moment. His gaze flickers over me as if trying to see beneath the surface, to understand what’s really going on in my head. His lips press into a thin line as he steps closer again, his hand hovering near mine but not quite touching.

“Trying something isn’t enough when it comes to them,” he says, his voice quieter now, but there’s an edge to it that makes my chest tighten. “They’ll use your fear, your desperation. They’ll feed on it. How many ways can I say this? What will get it through to you?”

I swallow hard, not sure how to respond. His concern twists at something in my bones, but the fear inside me doesn’t go away. It only grows stronger the more I think about Lara’s voice in my head, about the truth of what the Solstice Society is capable of.

“I’m not afraid,” I whisper, though I’m not sure I believe it myself.

Lucian’s gaze sharpens, searching mine with an intensity that seems to pierce through me. “You should be,” he mutters, stepping even closer. “Because if you think you can just walk in there and outsmart them, you’re wrong. They’ve been playing this game for decades, and you’re just another pawn. They havestrong forces behind them. Magic aged in darkness. You, as you are, are absolutely no match for their power.”

Anger flares in my chest, heat rising inside of me as I shake my head and back away from him. “I’m not a fuckingpawn, Lucian. What is it with the names? Apawn? Alittle girl?” I scoff and twist my face in disgust. “Do you let all of thelittle girlswatch you raw dog your female conquests?”

I turn away from him so he doesn’t see the sudden onset of tears in my eyes.

I don’t even know why it’s happening, but the anger and sadness…everything…it just bubbles up inside of me. And suddenly the books are shaking. The ground is shaking. I pause, stopping in my tracks, terrified at what’s happening.

And the moment I do, it stops.

“You are not invincible. You don’t get to make decisions like this without understanding the risks,” he says. “And for what it’s worth, I do not letlittle girlswatch me fuck myfemale conquests.” He steps closer to me as I take a deep, shuddering breath, trying to get a handle on my emotions. “It was a bad choice of words, Sylvie, but you are way out of your depths here, and you need to realize that.”

The vulnerability in his voice hits me harder than I expect. Lucian hasn’t shown his emotions freely, and hearing this—hearing him care—is more than I can process in the moment. I open my mouth to respond, but the words feel trapped.

“Don’t you dare go to them again.” His voice is low but seething, every word laced with a dark, possessive anger. The room seems to chill, his fury palpable as he closes the space between us. His gaze pins me in place, and although there’s a raw desperation flickering behind his eyes, his command is unmistakable. “You think you can do this alone, but you can’t,” he growls, his tone brooding and unyielding. “You don’t have a choice anymore. I will protect you whether you like it or not.”

I hesitate, uncertainty flooding my veins, my out-of-control emotions swirling in my mind and making my head pound. Part of me wants to argue, to push him away. But another part, a part I can’t seem to ignore, wants to believe in the sincerity behind his words. The fear and guilt eat at me, and all I can do is stand there, caught in the storm of my own confusion.

“I’ll be careful,” I whisper, but even as I say it, I don’t believe myself.

Lucian doesn’t respond right away. Instead, he just watches me, his dark eyes unwavering, as if trying to read the truth of my words. Finally, he nods slowly, but there’s still that same tension in the air. The concern doesn’t leave him, and the words unspoken hang heavily between us.

But then, before I can say anything more, he reaches out and gently brushes a strand of hair from my face, his touch sending a jolt of electricity through me. It’s tender—too tender for someone who’s supposed to be angry with me, who is supposed to be a monster—and for a brief moment, it feels like nothing else exists but the two of us in this quiet, musty room.

“I’llkeep you safe,” he promises softly, the words almost a vow. “But you have to allow me.”

I nod, though I know the road ahead will be far from easy. But for the first time in what feels like forever, I don’t feel so alone. It feels like this man, this monster, in front of me…he’s become so much in such a short amount of time. And I have no idea why.

Why I feel so deeply connected to him.

Why he cares at all.

I swallow hard, the weight of his words settling into my chest. But the moment he speaks again, my own frustration resurges. It’s like I’m suddenly unable to control these feelings swarming inside of me.

“Let me keep you safe, Sylvie,” Lucian says again, his voice low, earnest.

The anger rises again, warring with the control I want to hand over. I bristle, pulling away from him as if his words were a physical blow. “I’ve let people keep mesafemy whole life, Lucian. Look where it's gotten me.” My voice rises, trembling with the intensity of everything I’ve been holding back—the grief, the fear, the anger.

He doesn’t back down. His eyes darken, and I can see the same storm of emotions brewing in him. “That’s not what I meant. You don’t have to do this alone. You don't need to risk everything just to prove something.”

I shake my head, pacing in frustration as I throw my hands in the air. “I don’t need to be saved. I don’t need your protection or anyone else’s. I need to do this on my own, even if it means making mistakes along the way.” My hands shake as I gesture to the library, to the dangerous path I've already chosen. “I’m done with people thinking they know what’s best for me.”

His jaw clenches, and he steps forward, a few inches separating us, but it feels like miles. “And what if they pull you in, Sylvie? What if you don’t make it out? Then what? Then all of this is for nothing, and you and Lara are both dead.” He lowers his voice, punctuating each word, “You are playing with fire. Do you understand me? You will both die.”

“Maybe I’m done standing on the sidelines while everyone else decides my fate for me. You think this is about you, but it's not. You think it’s about you and your curse. About some witch from centuries ago.” My voice shakes with the strain of everything I’ve been holding inside. "It's aboutme, Lucian. Thewomanstanding in front of you. It’s about taking control of my own life for once.” I take a deep breath. “I have always been the twin to play it safe. My anxiety and fear of everything to do with standing on my own two feet have always kept me like thisfucked-up, caged bird. I finally feel like I’m learning more about myself, about my abilities. This is going to strengthen me. I’m not going to be stagnant anymore, or worse, going backward. I’m not letting those fears and anxieties eat me alive anymore. Realizing I have this power flowing through my veins…it’s not something I can ignore anymore. I’m going to learn about myself. About my lineage. About how to wield these powers. I refuse to let other people protect me when I’m fully capable of doing it myself.”

He doesn’t say anything, but I see something flicker in his eyes—something raw, something torn. He takes another step closer, almost too close, and I swear I can feel the air around us sizzle in anticipation of something. The argument hangs between us, like it’s a wall we can’t break through, but then... something shifts.

Without warning, Lucian’s hand grabs the back of my neck, pulling me in. His lips crash into mine, urgent, desperate. It’s not gentle. It’s a release, a need that neither of us can ignore anymore.

I don’t pull away. I reverently kiss him back, my hands gripping his shirt with frantic need, the starchy fabric pulling taut beneath my fingers as my heart pounds in my chest. His lips are warm, insistent, and everything inside me surges forward in response. It’s as if the kiss is more than just a simple meeting of mouths—it’s an eruption, a release of everything I’ve been holding back. His taste is intoxicating, and I lose myself in the desperate rhythm, in the fire that flickers and burns between us.

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