“That paper shit you draw on.”
I flip through the fresh pages. “Why would you do this?”
“Alexi mentioned that you lost yours.”
I squint up at him. “What do you want?”
“Why do I have to want something?”
“Is this why you came over here?”
He looks down. “Maybe."
I don’t know what the hell to make of this. It’s really nice and also suspicious as fuck. He’s given me a car, which, okay great, but the sketch book means more than that. There’s no way he doesn’t realize it. I hold my hand out.
He stares at it. “What?”
“If you went to the trouble of buying the book, I can’t imagine that you didn’t buy a pencil.”
He bites his lip and pulls out a small box, handing it over. I eye it curiously before opening it. It’s a set. There are pencils and a few different sizes of charcoal.
“I didn’t understand any of it,” he quickly explains. “I didn’t want to get the wrong one. So I just got one of the things that has a few. The lady said it was a good set.”
“You went to an arts and crafts store,” I say slowly. “And you asked someone for help to buy arts and crafts?” It takes everything in me not to laugh. I can see Koda standing there, staring at a shelf, and a poor little old woman asking him if he needs help. The relief he must have felt. “Did you jerk off at how organized the place was?”
He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, tempering his mood. “It was satisfying, yes. I did not, however, jerk off on the stickers.”
I can’t help it. I burst into laughter and practically keel over. Koda was looking at fucking stickers.
“I’m glad you find that amusing.”
“Oh, more than. What about the yarn? Did you look at the yarn?”
I can tell by his face that he did. I can’t even breathe.
“Ha fucking ha. Very funny.” He picks at his fingernails.
I wipe the tears of joy from my eyes and take deep breaths trying not to laugh. “Okay. I’m done. I’ll save the rest for later. This was nice of you or whatever.”
He smiles to himself but tries to hide it.
“What?”
“You didn’t thank me for the car, but you did for some pieces of paper and rocks.”
“Know your audience.”
I immediately break open the package and flip to the first page of the sketchbook. I hesitate. Charcoal or pencil? Koda isn’t watching me. He’s staring off into space, so I take the pencil and start to sketch him. We sit in silence for a while. I catch him stealing glances at me sometimes, but he doesn’t say anything. When I finish, I tear it out and hold it out to him.
He looks totally confused. “What’s this?”
I start to pull it back toward me. “Never mind. It’s stupid.”
He snatches it from me and looks at it, keeping his face neutral as he studies it. I’m about to get up and leave him on the porch. I drew a picture of him like a fucking child.
“You just drew this.” He finally says, glancing up at me.
“Is that rhetorical?”