Page 39 of Scrimmage

“I’ll tell you. I smell lies.”

I’m relieved as much as I’m terrified. It’s too late for Adam, though.

“Boys!” he calls. “Hold him. We’re going to set an example tonight.”

Two men who are dressed like they are in a militia come in. I recognize them. Jordy and Marky. They fuck with me sometimes, but he uses me as a reward to keep them in line. Not the good kind. Marky holds Adam down, not batting an eye.

“Hold his mouth open,” he commands. They do as they’re told like good little soldiers.

He reaches in, grabbing Adam’s tongue, and cuts it off. It’s not quick, and he doesn’t want it to be. He runs the knife back and forth, cutting the muscle in half recklessly while Adam screams. The screams don’t even bother me, neither does the blood. It’s the sound of the flesh that I find grotesque. He looks beautiful as he works. It used to scare me, but now it makes me feel safe. He’s protecting me like he said he would.

When he finishes, he drops the tongue into Marky’s outstretched hand. Adam’s chest rises and falls quickly while blood pours from his mouth.

“Take him to the doctor.”

They obey, dragging Adam out by his arms and slamming the door shut behind them. He examines the knife and glances at me. "Did you like that, baby girl?"

“Yes,” I whisper.

“Come here.” I scramble to my feet and trip over to where he stands. He takes my chin between his bloody fingers and forces me to look at him.

“I told you that I would take care of you.” His voice is cold and my stomach drops. Somehow I missed something. His fingers dig into my chin. I’ve done something wrong. “So why were you crying for him? Why would you be scared if you believe what I fucking said?”

I start to cry, sob, actually. The tears blind me. He brings his nose to mine.

“That’s it, baby girl. Only I should make you cry like this.” He releases me, shoving me to the floor.

On his way to the door he pauses. “You know, I thought we were past this. I thought you were done breaking my heart.”

I wail as he rips another star down from the ceiling. The sick part is that I’m not even upset about the star. I’m mad he’s leaving me again to do whatever it is that he does. He told me he’s really important and that he has important things to do. He said if he could stay with me all of the time he would, but he can’t. He says I’m lucky that he couldn’t resist falling in love with me.

His love isn't limitless, though. Nothing is limitless.

The first time I counted the stars there were one hundred and fifty-three. After tonight there will only be sixty-two left.

I look down at my sketchbook, having been lost in the memory. Instead of drawing those cold amber eyes, I draw angry coal black ones.

Chapter Six

Koda

That stupid slut. She pushes and pushes until you crack, and she does it in such a way that you can’t help it when you do. That’s what makes me fucking hate her. When she said I was just like my father, I didn’t see the man who adopted me. I saw the biological one.

She managed to turn that anger into sex. I don’t know her, but she’s a fucking vixen pressing buttons until she has you so fucked up and confused that you’re doing things you typically wouldn’t. But if I said that wasn’t the best fuck of my life I’d be lying. She smashed her little fists on the control board until I lost it, and I gave in. Something about it was familiar.

The second she got what she wanted she took off, leaving me feeling used. It’s driving me crazy. I’m understanding Alexi’s unwillingness to accept rejection. It’s not like I wanted to talk to her, but I wanted to be the one to walk away first.

I still don’t know what was going on with her when she was shoving her way through the party. When she grabbed my drink and chugged it I was fucking stunned. She’s like a tornado tearing through everything in sight. I haven’t seen her since, and I don’t want to. I don’t usually fuck girls, just have them suck my dick. Safer that way. Coming inside of her was the most dumbass thing I’ve ever done. That was when I remembered her.

I’m very aware that she fucks everything in sight, and I have half a mind to get tested. To be fair, I’ve had plenty of mouths on my dick, and I know they’ve been a lot of places. Lately when I’ve finished, it was more of a means to an end than actual relief. Ashland sucked out my soul and ate it as dessert. I want her off of my mind, but I find myself thinking about her more than I should. I get hard every single time.

I pass Sig Ep on my morning runs sort of hoping I’ll see her stumble out. Then I’ll just feel fucking gross and be able to let it go. She never does. Alexi hasn’t mentioned her much since the party. I guess someone told her he was getting his dick sucked by Stacy, and he’s had to settle for being friends with Ashland. I didn’t mean to cock block him, but he honestly deserved it. I also don’t think Ashland really had any intention of sleeping with him anyways. It was just a convenient excuse. She’s good at manipulating men. That’s for fucking sure.

When Alexi asked if I’d meet him after his ancient culture class, I couldn’t refuse. Part of me wanted to use it as an excuse to glare at Ashland and throw her off. I doubt she thought I’d see her again, but I want to make her remember what we did that way I’m not the only one thinking about it all of the damn time. Of course, the day he has me show up she isn't there. It’s like the damn Universe wants to make me look like an idiot.

I stand there waiting with my arms crossed like a smug asshole just for Alexi to emerge alone.

“Awe, look at you. Waiting for me,” Alexi teases me.

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