Page 151 of Scrimmage

“I know that I hurt your fucking feelings, Ashland. Believe me. Penny called me Judas.”

That makes me laugh. “Good.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I don’t know what my problem is, and I don’t know what yours is either. You’re impossible to read, and you speak this made up language that Penny only semi-understands. I want more, and I mean it. I’m not giving you a choice because every time I do, you don’t choose me. Yeah, I’m a fucking narcissist who doesn’t understand rejection or whatever. If you reallyreallywant me to leave you alone, I’ll try.”

I feel weird and flattered. Koda leaving me alone sends a sick feeling to my stomach. “I guess you can harass me.”

He looks relieved, like he thought I’d tell him to go away. “Good.”

He lets me out of the car and takes my hand again, dragging me up the stairs behind him.

“I’ve got like an hour max,” I yawn. “Then I’m gonna pass out, so you’ve got like thirty minutes.”

Koda tosses the keys onto the counter and leads me into the bedroom. “I’m not having sex with you. You can barely stand.”

“Then why am I here?” I sprawl out onto the bed. He steps in front of me, yanking my cloth of a shirt over my head, pulling off my jeans, then putting another one of his shirts over me.

“Because you need to go to sleep.” He kicks his jeans off and pulls on some sweatpants, then shoves me back onto the bed.

“Fine. I’ll just call a ride share.” I start trying to stand up, and he drags me backwards.

“You don’t have a phone. I’m not calling one. Stay.”

“No, I don’t do that. Only when I’m blackout.”

He huffs. “You already held my hand, and you don’t do that either.”

I sit crisscross and glare at him. “I don’t sleep.”

“Everyone sleeps.”

“Not me." I pick at the comforter. The truth is that I’m fucking embarrassed. I don't have dreams, only nightmares.

“I know you scream,” he says gently.

I bite my lip. “Are you going to ask me about it?”

“Do you want me to?”

“No.”

He grabs my hips and drags me into him, then throws the covers over me. “Fucking try it. If you hate it that much I won’t make you do it again.”

“Ugh.” I fall into the pillows, and he wraps his arm around me. “Only cause I’m trashed.”

“You know, I’ve never let someone stay either.”

He’s warm and it feels fucking nice as his finger traces my tattoos. “Really?” I murmur.

“You’re the first girl who actually ran out of the door. Usually, I’d have to kick them out, but you’re the only one I wanted to stay.”

“Gross.”

“Super gross.”

My lids are heavy, and my breaths even out. “If I wake up screaming, don’t say shit about it.”

For the first time in a long time, I don’t have any dreams at all.

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