Page 118 of Scrimmage

Cole loses his composure. “Do you wanna know something, Ashland?” he sneers. “Everyone here knows what a big fucking whore you are. That’s why you’re invited to these parties. You’re Koda Armory’s pocket pussy. You’ll be used up and thrown aside. Then you’ll come crying to me. It’s fine. I can wait.”

I didn’t really plan to be a massive bitch. It wasn’t my intention to embarrass him, but he pushed me over the edge. He backs away carefully. For a second I see the smug jackass he really is inside, but he turns and leaves me standing there. His words grate on me. A whore. I’ve heard it before. I’m no stranger to hurling insults or receiving them. It’s the part about Koda.

I’ll just be thrown aside. A pocket pussy.

I don’t have sex because I want a relationship with someone. It’s for me. I’m the one with the power. I repeat that mantra to myself several times, trying to remember why it’s true. I feel hot and drunk. If Penny were here she could stop my mind from running. Women should be allowed to have sex with no strings attached with whoever they want without the fucking stigma. Even though I try to live by those words, I can’t. Not right now while the surprise and confusion are working themselves out.

I crush the cup in my hand and throw it onto the ground, storming through the hordes of people toward the bathroom. I don’t want to fucking be here anymore, but I need a second to breathe. My mind is bending, and it’s uncomfortable. Everywhere I look in the crowd I’m starting to see Damien and it’s disconcerting. I only had two drinks. I didn’t even pregame at the house, but I feel fucked up anyways.

The line for the bathroom is long, so I stumble down the hallway looking for the master. I find it, crawl in, and slam the door shut behind me. Fuck. I feel like shit. Penny is hundreds of miles away so I can’t call her. Cole is being a dick, so that’s out of the window. The only option I have left is Koda. It’ll be embarrassing. He’ll say I told you so, but maybe one of the guys can take me home and I can sink into the ground to never return.

I pull my phone from my pocket and try to call him. It immediately goes to voicemail. That fucking asshole. I try again with the same result, so I move onto Alexi. Same fucking thing. It’s only ten, but I don't know what time zone they're in. Maybe if I wait this out I’ll be fine in a little bit, and I can take myself home. Just thinking about the walk makes me want to hurl. I’m not a puker, but I’m feeling really fucking close right now.

I drag myself up the cabinets and turn on the water, splashing it onto my face and drinking from the faucet. It doesn’t help. If anything it makes it worse, so I return to the ground and lean my body against the wall. My eyes start to flutter shut, and I’m shivering. Fuck, I know what this is. This is from not sleeping. If I just take a quick nap I’ll wake up feeling good enough to walk home. My hands shake as I set the timer. My body is revolting against me. Fucking traitor.

“Do you like your birthday present, baby girl?” Damien asks.

The sun feels like it’s stabbing my eyeballs because it’s been so long. The air is cool and the wind whips around me, tossing my hair in every direction. He’s watching me, waiting for my reaction. He’s sober for once and that makes me happy, too. This might be the best day in my entire life.

“I love it,” I smile. It’s timid.

His amber eyes remind me of a puppy’s when he’s sober. He can be so nice. It’s rare, and I want to soak it up. Watching him on the beach is mesmerizing. His shaggy brown hair whips in the wind, and he has a smile that’s to die for. I know he’s attractive and so does he, but he gives me the parts of himself that no one sees.

I wonder when he’ll stop loving me. It’s not an if, but a when.

“Sir,” a voice says behind us.

“Yes, Yang?” He’s trying to keep it together, to be polite, that way this day isn’t ruined.

Yang holds out some flowers and a wrapped box. “The birthday present you requested.”

Yang sure as fuck knows how to talk Damien into shit. It’s the only chance I have of getting out of here alive. I don’t know how he does it. The masked man that was always at Damien’s side has been slowly drifting away, replaced by Yang. My best friend, the fucking traitor. There was a time where Yang would look me in the face and tell me that he would punch everyone who hurt me. On the way here was the very first time we’ve been alone.

There was a lot said in a few words. I don’t know what to make of it.

“What did I used to tell you, Yinny?”

That was it. That was his one question. He waited for me to speak. It took me a minute because I’ve grown so accustomed to only conversing with Damien that it’s hard to go against it.

“Girls go to college to get more knowledge, boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider.”

“Good. Don’t forget it.”

I wake in someone’s arms. I can’t open my eyes, but I feel them carrying me. It’s him. It’s Damien. I try to get out of his grasp, but I hardly move.

“Sh, it’s alright, baby girl. I’ve got you.”

No, no,no. Before my mind can move past it I’m out again.

Damien waves Yang away and escorts me to a restaurant. A fucking restaurant. There aren’t people there, but it’s a fucking goddamn restaurant. I’ve never been in one before this, and it’s one of the greatest things in the world. An actual chef comes out after the food, but the second he addresses me he’s dragged away.

There’s a candle in the center of the table with a bouquet of flowers. This might be a dream. Damien’s eyes glitter in the warm light.

“Are you happy, baby girl? Do you want your present?”

“Yes, Damien." I give him the sweetest smile I can that way he’ll know I’m doing my best to be perfect. Maybe, just maybe, we can do this again.

He takes the flowers and hands them to me, and I relish the smell. Honeysuckle. My favorite. Most people like sunflowers, but not me. I love honeysuckles. There used to be bushes behind my trailer, and we would pick off the flowers sometimes and suck out the nectar. It was a dessert to us.

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