Page 79 of Masks and Mishaps

Evergreen

Lan, that’s nice. I would have loved to get a text like that

Wow, Dalt. You’re a fucking ball sack.

Me

You’re just upset that my balls are big enough to block the sun and speed up global warming

Evergreen

Blocking the sun would slow global warming

How can you joke about global warming

How is this possible

Lan the Man

I saw his balls on the stream. Can confirm they’re a contributor to climate change.

Evergreen

You too, Lander? MORE climate change jokes?

I’m taking you both out of my will

I hope Cora, Essie, and Valeria like Encyclopedia Britannicas because I’m leaving everything to them

Me

I feel like we’re maybe off topic…Can you come over?

Lan the Man

Done. See you in ten.

Me

Ev, are you coming?

Evergreen

Apologize to the planet, Dalton.

I switch over to another text thread.

Me

Cora, if I give you a thousand dollars, will you suck Everett’s dick until he’s happy?

Cora Bora

What did you do to him? He’s playing the piano and singing to his orchids

Val Pal

Excuse me. Why wasn’t I extended this offer as well?

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