Page 10 of Frayed Owner

I scrubbed his chest, shoulders, arms, back, and abs before having him dunk under and rinsed the scalp treatment as well. Then I applied a conditioning mask to his hair and put on the same face mask before letting him just chill a bit.

“Not doing my legs?” he teased.

“Some of this is self-care,” I reminded him. I sighed when he chuckled. “I know my limits and I’m not that coordinated.” I frowned when he snorted and I was glad when he explained.

“I’ve seen you fly over terrain on your long runs. You’re way more coordinated than I am. You’re part fucking gazelle. It’s impressive.”

“Thanks.” I appreciated him saying that because… Well, I hadn’t gotten a lot of compliments in my life. Now people were giving them to me, but it was always about my magic or the weird stuff I could do.

Never really about me?

Or me as a person but my magic. Well, no, my beauty, but that was superficial. I shouldn’t want that to be mentally healthy. I didn’t think so.

“Stop thinking so hard and hop in to relax,” he mumbled.

“How did you know?” I asked, snapping out of my racing thoughts.

“I can practically smell the smoke coming out of your ears. Plus, I know you.”

“Yeah.” I cleared my throat and got in the tub.

“Dunk under and I’ll apply that stuff to your scalp.”

I frowned. “No, this is to spoil you.”

“Getting to spoil you spoils me too, Bev,” he said gently. “We’re having this time forus. That’s the spoiling.” He took off the mask and smiled at me when I frowned. He gestured around at the lavish bathroom. “All of this is spoiling. Taking the night for self-care. You aced spoiling me. Really.”

“Okay, so just enjoy it,” I pushed. “I’m good.”

“I want to.” He frowned when I didn’t budge. “What’s going on?”

I looked away and down at my knees. “Clare’s right and I really am dense. I don’t get what’s going on here and I’m getting emotional again. I want to cry that you’re not enjoying my gift. You just said you are, and then I hear Kelton say I should go talk to someone which isn’t fair. I don’t want you to have to always take care of me. I wanted to take care of you tonight.”

He hugged me and kissed my hair. “Bev, you have to give yourself a break. I don’t like telling people they need to do stuff or they have to—normally, I say I wish they would or I hope they do. I don’t like being pushy. But youhave to. You are being too hard on yourself. You are doing so,sowell given what has happened. Please,pleasehear me.”

“You want to change my plan to spoil you and I’m ready to have a panic attack that I failed,” I admitted so quietly I barely heard myself. “That’s not doing well, Winter.”

“Yeah, it is. When you look at what’s happened to you, it really is.” He kissed my hair again but was silent a minute. “You were almost raped, your first time pleasurable but somewhat traumatic and crazy. But you still let people touch you. You can still engage. A lot of people can’t after they were sexually assaulted, and he did touch you.”

I thought about that. “It’s the library. It’s that place more than what was done to me.” I frowned. “No, and men touching my drinks. I can’t have strange men hand me drinks or—I have to see my drinks even if I know it wasn’t the barista’s fault. It was more how it all hit me after and when I met Kelton.”

“The fact you’ve identified your triggers already is amazing. I took much longer to identify mine. And you can talk about it. That one trauma and you are handling it so well. You’ve had multiple. Please, you are doing well. Keep going, Bev. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“I’m sorry I turned tonight into all about me,” I whispered. “I didn’t want that. I wanted to spoil you.”

“I’m spoiled. I’m very spoiled,” he promised. “You’ve been doing—Bev, all you’ve been doing for Teddy and helping us—I’m not scared every day about what happens to us after graduation. You have no idea how—that fear was starting to eat me. You saved me from that. Even if we don’t work out, I know we’re going to be okay, and that’s all because of you.”

“Okay, so let’s relax,” I forced myself to say when the worst of it passed. I was so annoyed with myself that I was ruining something so simple and nice.

He leaned away and booped my nose. “You didn’t ruin anything. You gave me a moment to be your knight again, and I like those moments. Don’t take them away from me. I don’t take the ones away from you when you help me.”

“I don’t feel like I ever help anyone,” I sighed.

“Because you’re drowning. You are. I promise,” he said gently.

I accepted that because Winter wouldn’t lie to me. Not about something as important as this.

I let him win, and luckily his arms were long enough so we didn’t have to get out to grab the scalp scrub that I’d left on the floor. I dunked under and then explained how to apply it, showing him how I did a section in the front. He was a bit too gentle at first and I couldn’t help but smile. It was so like him and his familiar.

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