Page 48 of Frayed Owner

“I didn’t mean to cause trouble,” Spike muttered, focused on me. “I like you together. I just don’t want anyone to hurt.”

He was so like Kelton—familiars really were another piece of their witch or warlock. It made me frown wondering if that was why I felt so empty and broken sometimes.

Was it because I was missing the piece of me that I should have?

That was actually nicer than worrying I was just insane. Maybe it was something to bring up to Mrs. Reid.

“Was I crying when I came to talk to you?” Kelton asked his familiar.

“Yes, he was,” Spike confirmed. “A lot of it didn’t even make sense. He blamed his dad, and how could he blame a man who is dead?”

I repeated what Spike said and relief instantly filled Kelton’s eyes.

“Did I blame Kevin and even my mom for not trying to talk me out of dating Bevin?”

“Yes, he did, but then he apologized,” Spike answered. “He apologized for blaming you too. It was all very confusing and I didn’t know what to do.”

Again, I told Kelton… And understood what was going on.

“I get it,” I whispered. “I blamed you too when I was super upset.” I hugged myself and stepped away when he went to comfort me. “I don’t know that we’re wrong, Kelton. I mean, we’re not right and it isn’t our fault. We’re the victims—”

“That was the part I missed at first. That you were just as much of a victim as Kevin was,” he said but then caught me, sliding his arm around me and grabbing my wrist. He moved it to over his heart and let out a slow breath. “Read me, Bev. See this is the truth.” He waited until I nodded. “I don’t blame you, sweetie. I don’t.”

My eyes burned. I really,reallyneeded to hear that. It was a huge wound for me to have heard he’d told his familiar it was my fault. Yes, I figured there was more to it since familiars didn’t understand context, but… It had still really hurt.

“Don’t cry,” I whispered. “I can cry tomorrow. I cried yesterday. Just not today.”

“Please tell me why you’re doing that,” he begged.

I sighed, annoyed I kept saying it out loud. I asked he let me go though, and we sat on the bench he’d put in at Spike’s housing and finished our breakfast. I told him what Emma had helped me with and about realizing that the floodgates of my emotions hadn’t just opened with my being free and starting to really accept my horrific abuse.

That the dam of my emotions had fucking shattered and I needed to work on finding a level of normal. I couldn’t live life sobbing like a mess and puking anytime life took a turn.

Yes, that was being ridiculously hard on myself and overly critical to the point I should probably smack myself—and anyone else who said it about me—but I didn’t want to live like that. So this was worth a try. I knew I wouldn’t have always stayed that way, but this was a good plan to… Have a plan?

Kelton bumped my thigh with his. “I’m glad you have help. I know I handled it all wrong and like an asshole, realizing I needed to talk to someone too. But you got this look in your eyes that—the whole thing scared me. I was trying to say this was too big for college kids to handle. I’m sorry.”

I think I really heard him this time. “That’s fair.” I cleared my throat and took another bite of my breakfast. “Are you getting help?”

He blew out a slow breath. “You’re smarter than I am and saw it right away. Or maybe I just didn’t see it because—not yet. I just had the intervention part last night. Hence the drinking. I want to fix things between us and then figure out what came next.”

“That makes me sound like the solution and that’s a lot,” I worried.

“Not how I meant it,” he promised. “More that I couldn’t let you think—I couldn’t keep these misunderstandings between us and balance working on myself. I can only do one thing at a time. I needed—this was the priority. You were.”

I bumped his thigh this time. Hearing him that he put me first and I believed it. It was sweet and made me feel we could move past what happened. I said things wrong all of the time and had been overreacting all over the place. I got where he was coming from.

I frowned as I kept eating. “Sorry I blew this all up. This should have been a much easier conversation.”

“Maybe,” he accepted. “Maybe if it was about something simpler or it was the only thing going on. If you did it on purpose or to stir up drama, then definitely you should apologize, but you wouldn’t be you then. But—thank you for valuing me enough to apologize. You were in a free fall though and I understand.”

“Thanks.” I felt better about the whole thing but not exactly like things were settled between us. “Why did you ask me if it was my first time getting flowers after a fight?”

“Right, sorry, got distracted,” he mumbled, clearing his throat this time.

By me. Staring at me. It amused Spike and he snitched. I felt my whole face flush and I hurried to drink my second juice.

“So this is going to sound weird, but I want to be your normal.” He jumped to his feet and faced me. “Let me explain.” He waited until I nodded. “I jumped the gun. I get it. We’re not boyfriend/girlfriend. Maybe I got a bit jealous and wanted us official—I don’t know. Idoknow we had fun. Going out to eat. Thepicnic. Even the run—all of it. It was fun.”

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