Page 45 of Frayed Owner

That was it? I made sure not to sigh, my drunk brain knowing not to do that at least. “What else is going through your brain?”

“Nothing that I can say that won’t sound like I’m starting a fight or I want to be mad at you. I think.”

I blinked back tears. “I’m so sorry, Bev.”

She was quiet a few moments. “I don’t understand why you’re apologizing.” She added a quick “Sorry” that sounded so confused.

“I’m sorry that I did this to us and broke what we had,” I rasped. “We started with you turning to me when you needed someone. You told me so much as a stranger. Now you don’t feel like you can talk to me without—you can’t talk freely to me. I did that. That’s the last thing I wanted for us and I’m really sorry.”

She let out a shaky breath, one so bad I could even hear it through the phone. “I think I needed to hear that, but it’s not just on you. You’re normal, Kelton. I’ve said this since the beginning. Even with the grief and pain of losing your dad, you’re normal. Your parents were white picket fence with their two kids they loved fiercely.

“That’s not my world. That’s not the life I’ve lived orwilllive. And I don’t know normal, and after what you said, looking back, it feels like you want me to be normal. And that’s hard on me because everyone else wants me to be a superstar and do so much. So it’s confusing. But I’m also fragile right now. What you said—it shouldn’t have been that big of a deal.”

“No, it should have been,” I argued. “Full stop. I mishandled everything. We maybe could have fixed it quicker or talked it out easier if things weren’t so dire.”

“Yes, that’s true—I like that better. Thank you,” she accepted. She sniffled then and my heart broke. “I just don’t know the way forward. I’m sitting here shaking that you’ll find out therapy didn’t work out, and—even if it’s not fair to you, it’s how I feel. I know it’s probably not and your ‘crime’ wasn’t that big.

“Emma helped me see that. Your crime wasn’t what you said so much as not understanding—nothearing me—that you weren’t the one who could help me. But I’m not stable enough—not socialized enough—to know how to move forward. It’s all too overwhelming for me.”

“Please don’t end this, Bev,” I rasped, my voice cracking. “Please, sweetie.”

“Kelton, I’m not trying to make decisions for you, but to me it doesn’t seem I’m what you want.”

“How can you say that?” My heart was breaking to hear she felt that way.

“You said it our first date,” she mumbled. “You wanted a happy, simple life. You never wanted to get into the arena of the top-tier families and be in the spotlight. That’s where my life will be and you don’t want that. Why start something that will end up somewhere where you’ll just resent me?”

“Why bring this all up now? You still liked me after the date and—”

“I didn’t know what I was then,” she said, making a very valid point.

“That’s fair,” I accepted. “But I still want to be with you. I think we could have something special here.”

She was quiet a few moments. “Can you really say you don’t blame or resent me for your brother almost dying? Look in your heart and be honest with yourself, Kelton. Because I think you know the answer.”

“No, it’s not like that—”

“Who’s lying this time?”

“Please don’t say you know the answer for me. I would never answer for you or—”

“You’re right. That’s fair and I wouldn’t do that. But when your familiar tells me that’s how you feel, it might as well be coming from your mouth. So I think that says a lot.” She cleared her throat. “I have to go. I’m sorry. I know it’s mean, but I cannot handle anything else today and not explode. Enjoy your drinking.”

I blinked at my phone when the line disconnected. Fuck.

Fuck.

“Okay, you look like all of the puppies in the world just got beat up,” Kevin muttered as he came back in the room.

I didn’t know what to say because I couldn’t betray Bevin’s trust.

And I was maybe in a bit too much shock to learn she could understand animals. Likehear themnot just work with them and have magic.

So I just shook my head and tossed my phone on the table… And got shit-faced. I wasn’t sure I’d ever gotten that shit-faced before. Kevin only allowed it because he hadn’t been paying attention to how much I’d been drinking and I was a quiet drunk.

Then I couldn’t even stand and it was obvious I was completely plastered.

He was probably still cussing.

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