Page 73 of Before Now

A greeting card.

“I’m outta here.” I read the sparkly font on the front, arching over a black graduation cap and matching tassel sitting side by side in a convertible and driving into the sunset.

My throat tightens, lashes violently trying to stop the burning in my eyes. The well of emotions is something I immediately want to escape. I fight to shove them down so I don’t fall prey to any others they may unleash.

“Congrats, graduate.” Roman rubs my cheek with the backs of his knuckles, and I swallow, battling still. He plucks the card from my hand and returns it to the envelope. “Read the rest later. When I’m not there.”

I laugh through the threat of tears. “So itisa love letter then if you don’t want me to read it in front of you.”

He holds it up between two fingers for me to take with a look, and I cut the defense mechanism, giving a halfhearted smile.

“Thank you.” I tuck it in my bag as my phone goes off. One quick pulse that makes my eyes clamp shut for a second.

Not needing me to say anything, Roman sobers. The air in the car tenses along with him. “You need to go?”

I check the message from Daniel, ordering me to the house. “Yep. The king’s holding court tonight.”

The reminder of dinner tonight writhes in my stomach. I’ll wear a dress chosen by him, my performance required to uphold all the smoke and mirrors. Sit, eat, and if I can’t speak without being a “disrespectful cunt,” remain silent.

I almost never talk.

“Do you want to run away with me?” I ask Roman, cocking my head.

“Tempting.” He lightens up enough one side of his mouth hooks. Not my favorite smile, but I like this one too. “But if you stopped showing up to classes now, I’d have to take the card back.”

Fair enough.

The sun’s starting to set when he drops me off to walk the last two blocks. I’m already over it, considering a revisit to the abduction strat again. But conflict swims in Roman’s eyes, so I grab the door handle.

“Promise I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah,” he says, solemn, resigned. “See you soon, Remington.”

Slipping my strap over my shoulder, I walk to the sidewalk. I draw out the trek by stopping to fish my earbuds from the bottom of my bag.

“Remi, wait.” Roman’s car door shuts behind me.

When I rotate, he’s rounding the trunk on his way toward me. Before I can ask why, his strides close in. He hasn’t even stopped yet when he pulls me into a hug. His arms encircle me, one hand on the back of my head and my face pressed into his shirt through his unzipped coat.

“I’m fucking looking at you, pretty girl. You’re not unnoticed. I see you.”

Suddenly it hurts. Everything hurts so much. A silent sob works up my throat as I throw my arms around his middle. I sink into him and close my eyes, trying to absorb every bit I can of the moment. The warmth, the touch of skin on mine, the pressure as he crushes me tighter.

Without another word, Roman lets go, leaves me on the sidewalk, and drives away.

I feel cold again, missing all the things. Other than Sage, no one’s hugged me for a long time. I kind of wish he hadn’t now, so I wouldn’t have to realize it. But I’m really glad he did.

Since I’ve been summoned, I can’t sneak in through my window and chance my emergency escape hatch being bolted shut. Daniel nor my mom has noticed my lack of coming and going through doors, but they’ll be paying attention tonight. Every move and breath stand trial during these dinners.

I’m so close to never enduring another one again.

The chief puts these on whenever he needs the minions to swarm around and reinforce the power and control he holds over everyone. Those invited bow at his feet, and anyone who feels slighted kicks up the ass-kissing a notch.

He has his favorites who come most often. I hate both of them.

I’m almost to the house when one rolls up on me. Elvin makes the air taste acidic. I can’t think of a much better way to describe being in the presence of his shaved head, boxy build, and wildly inflated sense of self-importance. Especially when he drops his voice real low and talks to me like we share a secret. I fear the toxin getting in my mouth, lungs, and on my skin.

He creeps along in his cruiser while I act oblivious with my earbuds in. It works out until I need to cross the street. Elvin accelerates to beat me and turns onto the cross street, stopping and blocking the path. He hangs out his window, and I begrudgingly pop out an earbud.

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