Page 159 of Before Now

Remi doesn’t come to the show.

46

REMI

I still can’t believeI’m here.

The last place I ever wanted to be again.

The last place I ever thought Iwouldbe again.

Other than the nurse at my side, the hospital hallway remains quiet. Blue carpet underfoot, wooden rails running along the two-tone walls, a random visitor or staff member we meet.

“It’s such a tragedy.” Her shoes squeak with every step, keys jingling too. “Some people will try to tell you he owed money, but no one believes it. Small-town gossip, you know? So, don’t let the rumors get to you, sweetie. He’s one of the good ones, but you know that as much as anyone. It’s so lovely the way you and Chief Kane were able to reconcile after everything.”

“So lovely,” I repeat dryly.

The sarcasm earns me a curious side-eye as we turn a corner, but she won’t say anything.

She won’t for the same reason no one questioned the hospital’s contact information being wrong. Why the department’s HR couldn’t provide the right phone number either, even though I was listed on their forms as well. Not a damn soul wondered why a labor and delivery nurse overheard the issue and easily tracked me down.

Because the misdirection’s still in place, and it turns out I’ve been part of it all along.

This illusion shows the power of love and forgiveness. Where an upstanding community leader never stopped loving his late wife’s troubled daughter, even after the pain I caused. So much so, he found me, and after all my regret and apologies, he forgave me for running off with Roman. We reconnected, bonded, grew close enough he entrusted me with his life.

He upheld the deceit in every aspect, never breaking character, it seems. Even when he filed required updates to paperwork at the department.

Such a fucking pity a compulsive lie finally outperformed him.

I was supposed to be in NYC tonight for Of Men and Wolves’ final concert on their tour. I was going to watch Adams North take the stage, be there when Foster plays Madison Square Garden.

Instead, here I am, walking through Ashfield’s hospital halls. Ready to fulfill the role Daniel cast me in.

“Remi.”

When I glance over my shoulder, Sage is speeding down the hallway. She’s in scrubs, hair gathered on top of her head, and has a hand latched onto the stethoscope around her neck to keep it from swinging as she rushes after us.

“Just a second,” I tell the nurse, going to meet her.

She knocks me back a step as she throws her arms around my neck. It reminds me of when she’d be the only one who ever hugged me, and I close my eyes, embracing her back.

“I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this. They said your name, and when I asked why, one of the other nurses shared the gross story that bastard’s been telling. I thought you at least deserved to know.”

“Thank you. Even if it’s the worst reason to call, I’m glad you did.” I pull away, and she studies me.

“You want me to go in with you?”

Despite the knots in my belly, chest, and throat, I shake my head. “I need to do this on my own.”

I’ve told myself the first part over and over since she called me twelve hours ago. While I booked my flight to Ohio. In the back of the Uber headed to JFK instead of to see Foster. When the plane landed, and as I rented a car, and at least every ten miles of the drive to Ashfield.

Even after saying it aloud just now, I repeat it in my head.

I need to be here. I need to walk into that room. I need to deal with the monster in my closet.

So I can fully live the life Foster’s shown me glimpses of, and I know waits for me with him.

He bought me a house. He found more of my dad for me to hold onto without fear of losing it. He reminds me I’m safe, and his promises are secure.

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