Page 153 of Before Now

Once Puppy starts rolling, he nods back.

I steady myself, banish the cutting sense of betrayal I’ve endured for far too long. My heart’s fallen in line with my head and body, and I say a silent, “Bye, Mama.”

This time, all I need to blow up Andrew West’s life is to provide the fuse.

44

REMI

Just like Foster said,he only offers a pile of breadcrumbs to indicate a trail.

The key is his wording. Hints he decided to separate himself from the toxicity of his family. Specific regions of the places he grew up. What his dad does for a living.

Once the documentary airs, whoever wants it will know there’s something to find. Enough to unbury the line between Adams North, the man the world has fallen in love with, and the abusive asshole who managed to make him feel like he wasn’t worthy of love.

Later, he calls from the bus to assure me I can use the footage in the doc. He tells me why he decided to set it in motion now, and for the first time I truly wish I’d stayed on tour. Simply for tonight.

But I know leaving was the right thing. I even pushed myself to start therapy. Holy hell, was that a first session.

In three days, I review his interview twice, playing with how to incorporate clips or soundbites. The candid asks and answers between the band members has shifted my vision slightly, and this alters it more. Not enough Foster will get out of the original solo interview questions, though.

“Sinner.”

I rip my headphones off as I jump. “Jesus.”

Heath scowls in concern for nearly giving me a heart attack on his way into his office above their garage. He ran into the house for—“None of your business.” Which means he went to check on Jasmine and his newborn son. Who already glares like him at seven days old, might I add.

“Have you thoroughly threatened the nanny?” I ask.

Heath ignores me, so I return to my laptop and the new files from Xander.

Despite being back for nearly two weeks, I hadn’t seen my mentor until yesterday. Between Baby Erickson’s arrival and the holidays, Jasmine barred him from work until the New Year.

He called me on New Year’s Day, and I’m pretending it’s because he missed me.

My screen lights up with a text from Xander, and I cock my head at the audio file.

For the shot we both know will be the prelude and likely THE fucking teaser.

My mind immediately jumps to the band and projector. I won’t admit it yet, but he’s right. We both know. But then I reread the file name.INTV_ADAMS_S1_RAW001.wav

Me

Adams did his solo interview with you?

I’m even more confused he voluntarily sat down for it. I honestly thought I was going to have to video chat tonight or tomorrow with him and strip while asking the questions myself.

Xander

He asked me. And I swear his first answer is specifically for your shot.

After switching my headphones over, I put them on and play the audio. It starts with Xander introducing the interview with date, location, and subject. Then he says, “Rolling,” and asks the first question. The one I’ve wanted since before I flew to Prague. Before the dressing room and museum, when it was specifically for Adams North, guitarist and lead singer.

“Tell me, Adams, why Of Men and Wolves?”

“Because we’re of the same cloth.”

There’s a pause that sounds deliberate, and I hit stop, my gut screaming for me to pull up the video file of the band and their past selves. Then I play them together with the video at half speed like I imagined.

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