Page 142 of Before Now

Tears roll down her cheeks, and I swipe them away with my thumbs, cupping her face. As hard as it is to tell her, the worst part is recognizing all the damage I caused. To her. To him. To Colt. Myself.

“You did hate me,” she rasps, voice weak.

“No. I couldn’t deal with reality, so I put it on you because it was easier. But even then, Remi, I loved you. I’d never fucking met you, but I knew I loved you. And realizing how much of your life you lost on top of everything else because I threw your phone…”

She takes a shuddering inhale, shaking her head against my palms. “You’ve spent this entire time blaming me for Chase while I’ve been blaming myself for Roman.”

“Both were wrong,” I tell her. “None of this is on you.”

“Isn’t it?” She fully backs away and places the mic pack in her bag.

“Remi.”

The bag zips, then goes over her shoulder. Then she flashes me the most heart-breaking look she’s ever given me before walking past me. In a split second, I sense my world crumbling and spin, darting in front of her, bringing her to a stop. I don’t leave space this time, my hand pushing into her hair.

“Tell me what you need.” I tip her chin up, bringing her eyes to me. “So long as it doesn’t involve losing you again, I’ll give it to you.”

She relaxes into my touch enough I can breathe. “I need time to process, Foster. Right now, I can’t handle much more than that.”

My brows dip as I fight the instinct to hold on tighter. After a second, I nod.

“I’m letting you walk away now, but I’m going to follow. I won’t be right behind you, but I’m going to be there.” I press my forehead to hers. “Because last time, when you had to walk away, I went in the opposite direction, and it took way too fucking long to find us again.”

I kiss her, and her fingers wrap around my wrist as she kisses me back.

Thank fuck she’s kissing me back.

“I’m yours, Remi Sinner. Always. And there’s no ending where you aren’t mine.”

My hand falls away, and I step back. This time when she walks away, I hang my head back between my shoulders and look up at the rafters, fighting like hell to stay where I am.

40

REMI

Footsteps fast approachfrom behind as I rush down the hall toward the venue’s exit. I glance over my shoulder but keep walking, despite my shadow’s long strides after me.

“I can’t right now, Colt.” My voice shakes. My chest hurts. I feel seconds away from collapsing.

So many thoughts swim and swirl, mixing with the old ones. Anytime I try to latch onto an emotion, another sweeps me away. Foster was there at the lake. He came for me. Then he didn’t tell me. And made me easy to find by ditching my phone. He knew Sage. He blamed me for Chase’s accident.

Colton falls into step beside me. “We don’t have to talk, Remi. I’ll just feel better if I know you’re safe on the bus.”

A tear slips before I wipe it away. “Thank you.”

Fans are unable to access the back lot with the adjusted security measures, deeming the escort unnecessary, but I appreciate it all the same. Especially since he doesn’t say a word.

The night air chills my skin once we step outside, and I slow partway to the bus. I close my eyes, breathe deep. A warm presence lingers. I wouldn’t be surprised if Colton eases closer specifically so I don’t get cold. I shiver anyway. More from a decrease of adrenaline and emotion.

“Here.”

When I look over, he’s yanking off his sweatshirt. I glance at the bus, then back to him, and he tilts his head.

“You look like you need a second.” He shoves the sweatshirt at me. “Take it. None of the band will come out without me knowing.”

With a halfhearted smile, I push my hands through the sleeves. I only wear half of it, warming my front.

He strolls over to lean against the side of the bus. His expression stays harsh, body language rigid.

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