Page 127 of Before Now

His head tilts, concern marring his face, so I force a small smile. His expression softens in response, and he manages to fill the silence with everything I need. Such a simple thing he wields like the world’s most powerful weapon. At least in my world.

Roman glances to the side, and the dome light pops on a second later, accompanied by a ding as a door opens. He angles the camera to show Bea crawling into the back passenger seat with a shopping bag. “Say hi to Remi.”

She glances up with a smile while shutting the door. “How’s my girl?” Unbuttoning her coat, she reaches for the phone with her other hand. “We miss you.”

Things changed between Roman and Bea after his attack while we were staying at her lake house. She said it took almost losing him to realize how deep that loss would have gone.

Having recently been gutted and the wound being a through-and-through, I understood.

I leaned on her a lot while he recovered. She was my first call when I finally got to him, barely conscious and broken. Then she was there for both of us every step of the way. In truth, she kept us afloat until we could swim again.

They became aweafter Roman and I moved so I could start school. She would visit back and forth until she eventually stayed with him in New York. But neither of them loved the city. He denied it for a long time—and I know it was because of me. After I started working with Heath, Bea and I ganged up on him, and they moved to Philadelphia just over two years ago.

It was after the weekend I spent at Sound Clash that I helped them unpack at their new place. While I was there, I also helped them celebrate something else. Or someone.

“I miss you guys too,” I tell her, only a high-pitched squeal overpowers mytooand has Bea dramatically widening her eyes.

Roman chuckles. “I told you she’d wake up the second you got back.”

Bea waves him off and rotates the phone screen so I can see Imane in her car seat and she can see me. She’s beaming, black curls peeking from under an orange fuzzy hat. Her big brown eyes match her dad’s, but the rest shines through all Bea.

“There’s my baby,” I coo.

Through the random word sounds, I catch a “Remi here,” and my heart squeezes. She changes so much between updates, and I seek out every one.

“Say Thanksgiving wasn’t the same without you, sissy.” Bea coaches her while handing her a plastic key ring of shapes.

Foster and I spent it with Chase and Colt’s family.

Imane answers in baby, ignoring the toy entirely and desperately reaching for the phone instead. And then the world ends when her mom won’t give it up.

I wince at the cry and screech, but she’s too fucking adorable to really care about eardrums.

Bea flashes me an apologetic face that she backs up with a, “Sorry. Love you.”

She passes me back to Roman in the driver’s seat, and he’s wincing along with me.

“I’m so sad I missed this part with you.” He smothers it in sarcasm, causing me to laugh.

“Yeah, I can sense the unshed tears. Get your girls home.”

“Two of my girls,” he corrects. He smiles but with a seriousness beneath the surface. “We’re not done here. When you have time and are ready, I want to finish our conversation. Then you can tell me more about this Foster guy who’s responsible for you being so fucking happy.” Imane starts to calm behind him, so he lowers his voice. “I’m proud of you, Remington. Stay standing, and remember I’m here for it all. I’ve got you through the good, bad, great, and ugly.”

The words act like his hugs, warm and grounding. What Roman’s always been for me. Despite the cost to him.

“Same. Good, bad, great, and ugly,” I repeat.

“We love you,” he says, and I tell him I love them too. Then he adds, “Warn Foster I’m holding him responsible if anything happens to you. But I won’t lie, I haven’t even met the man and already prefer him watching over you to Xander.”

His nose wrinkles in mock disgust, the call ending before I can even respond. Not that anything I say would matter.

Despite his best efforts, Xander still hasn’t fully reversed Roman’s first impression of him.

To be fair, when my roommate answered our apartment door last Christmas in only low-slung sweatpants—and I meanlow—he didn’t expect Roman to be on the other side. Neither did I.

It was Imane’s first Christmas, and Bea’s family was there visiting.

I hadn’t wanted to impose; plus, I had a shoot the next day. So, Xander skipped his family’s plans to keep me company, and we stayed in the city. We bought the saddest plastic tree, which leaned in a corner, andThe Year Without a Santa Clausplayed on repeat.

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