Page 111 of Before Now

Foster groans as he pulls out and then crashes onto his side next to me, bracing on a forearm. He traps a piece of my hair between his knuckles, slowly gliding down to the black ends. He studies them.

“I like this,” he says, low and soft.

The strands fall as he trails down. His knuckles drag over my chest and breast and graze my nipple. He skims to the other.

“I really like these.” He captures it and tugs. A whimper slips from between my lips, but he’s already drawing a line from my sternum to my navel. The light touch sweeps back and forth, dipping a little every time.

“Anything else you like?” My pulse picks up again while he teases lower still.

The palm flattens over my pelvis, spanning all the way across. “Yeah.”

His lips twitch, clear in his intent not to tell me.

When he looks up, I lick mine to shield a smile. His gaze moves from there, covering every inch of my face. Like he’s finally letting himself look at me. And I trace my fingertips over the back of his hand and run the others over his bicep, touching him because I finally can. I can catalog each tattoo and ridge of him. He can lean down and taste me with his tongue.

For the first time, Foster and I have all the parts at once. We’re truly together in the same place.

I’m living and breathing him after thinking I’d lost any chance. And there’s nothing left to take it away again.

31

FOSTER

I was wrong.

Not a first, but by far the worst.

And as I stare at a dark ceiling, arms around Remi, her head and breaths on my chest, I’m trying to figure out how long I can keep her. How after all this time it was me who fucked everything. Me alone.

The one thing I could hold on to of her for all these years was sharing the blame.

Not anymore. Not ever.

Guilt’s still there, though—and now I have even more to carry.

When my screen lights up, I reach for my phone on the nightstand. Our flight to San Diego leaves sooner than I want. Which is at all. The timing couldn’t be less ideal.

I finally have her and need to go.

In the message Christian sent our group chat, he threatens to drag us out of our rooms if we aren’t by the elevator in twenty minutes.

To avoid running into anyone in the hall, I need to get back to my room now. Until she and I talk, I don’t want anyone else pushing or prying. A lot changed last night, but we still have jagged pieces to sort out.

At some point over the next two days, I need to bring the guys back to Remi’s side. Even without the details, I know she’s not responsible for what happened with the label. I likely called it with Wannabe.

Another piece.

I carefully shift out from under Remi and scrub a hand over my face, standing up. I redress and tap out a text to her while I return to the bed. If I wake her, I’ll fuck her. As tempting as it might be, I hit send. Her phone lights as I lean down and kiss the top of her head. I straighten, stare down at her, and I’ll find a way to keep her.

I can’t let Remi go again.

Even if it means keeping the rest buried away for a little while. Just until I figure out a way to make her stay once she knows the truth. The whole truth.

* * *

Very little competeswith performing for an amped-up crowd. The stage grows and the seats multiply, but the heart remains unwavering. I lived for it then, now, always.

Playing the benefit concert isn’t any less potent of a high.

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