Page 106 of Elusion

“Hello?”

“It’s all my fault, Jordan,” he cries. “I’m so sorry.”

A sledgehammer hits my chest, the panic radiating from the point of impact. In the background, Cate bawls, and it makes it even harder for me to concentrate.

“Connor, what happened?” The voice sounds like someone else’s, and for a second, I think Dustin has spoken my thoughts. Except he’s in front of me, eyes locked on my face, mouth not moving. No, the strained, unrecognizable voice came from me.

“Connor, what thefuckhappened?”

He only says one word, but it’s the only one I need.

“Graham.”

“Jordan?” It’s Trey now. “Are you there?”

I nod, the air too heavy, suffocating me.

“Jordan?”

The phone is pulled away from my ear, and Dustin puts it on speaker. “Yeah,” he answers for me.

“We’re on our way to the hospital. She was awake for a few minutes before the ambulance arrived, but—” He chokes off. “She’s in pretty bad shape.”

My eyes shut, the light too fucking bright, blinding me.

“What happened?” Dustin asks.

“I’m having trouble getting Connor calmed down enough to talk to me. He called and said Graham had Cal in the house and that I needed to get over there. She called a minute later, fucking terrified. Thank God I made it when I did. The son of a bitch was on top of her with his hands around her neck…”

Trey’s recount of what happened after he arrived continues. Crying and yelling from Connor and Cate bleed in from the background. The door next to me opens, my parents stepping into the hall. All these things happen around me, but none of them happentome. The world hurtles forward at lightning speed. Maybe I only notice how fast it moves now because I’ve stopped. Dustin grasps my shoulders, shaking me, willing me to do something—to move. But I just stand here. The chances of keeping up with everything seem impossible, the reason to even try lost on me.

Everyone’s voices and words bounce off me, swirling around with nowhere to land. None of them make sense until two break through.

“Jordan, please.”

Connor’s distress matches my own and acts as a much-needed slap in the face, forcing me away from the abyss of self-pity I was circling. The rest roars back into focus, and why the fuck am I still here? I grab the phone, not having any choice but to keep up.

“Connor, you have to calm down so Cate will stop crying.” I snag my keys from Dustin, not even acknowledging him or my parents before running out of the house. “Tell me you heard me, Con.”

He sniffs a few times. “Yeah,” he croaks out. “Just hurry.”

Understaffed and unprepared, the hospital in Waymore transfers Callie to a larger one, cutting time off my drive. Even with a shorter distance and heavy foot, my trip takes eons. Anytime where I am heading or why infiltrates my thoughts, I roll down the window and turn up the music. Distractions and avoidance are necessary tools in keeping me from losing my mind right now.

I park next to Pete’s truck in the parking lot and pass Trey’s cruiser at the curb in front of the building. My shoes squeak across the floors on every turn as I race through the hallways, following the directions Trey gave me. Left through the automatic doors, down a long hallway, taking the first right, a left, another right, do the hokey-fucking-pokey. I glimpse Cate through the window of a door.

When I burst in, everyone looks up. She runs across the room and jumps into my arms. Right behind her comes Connor. He wipes his eyes with the back of a bandaged hand. Unsure of what the hell else to do, I put my free arm around him. The kid latches on to me like I’m his fucking lifeline, and at this moment, I probably am.

She squeezes too tight, he cries, and I let them.

Over the top of Cate’s head, I spot Pete in a chair, reading a magazine.

“Where’s Trey?” I ask.

“Vending machines. Down the hall, turn right, third door.”

I hand Cate off to Connor.

“Wait, let me go with you,” he begs.

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