He reels back in surprise. “Me? I’ve assured your father that you are perfectly safe with me. I would never disrespect an honorable woman like you.”
Hope dwindles in my chest, but I try to conjure something flirty to convince him to not be so noble. He isn’t a bad-looking man, but his gentle character and skills with food add more value to his person than anything else. My mind blanks because I have no desire to have him touch me.
“I told Ricky that,” I say quietly after a more than awkward pause from his statement.
António exhales a relieved breath. “Good, good. I wouldn’t disrespect your father or Luca.”
“Luca?” My hands still, wondering if António already knows about him looking for eligible women. And if he knows, how? Is António closer to Luca than I think? Does Ricky know?
He nods. “Everything we do is a reflection of Luca. He would never forgive us if we did something like that.”
I frown, turning back to the counter and wiping it down as we finish the last of the preparations. “I thought Luca didn’t care for the old traditions,” I say, trying to figure out why António would assume that. He’s old enough to defer to the opinion of Luca’s father. António pauses briefly before giving me his back as he grabs the sauce bottles we still need to finish filling. “I’ve heard the same, but it’s always better to assume it’s only a rumor.”
I scoff, rolling my eyes. “Perhaps, but you have to admit it’s a bullshit tradition. A woman’s worth tied to something that is unpredictable and debunked scientifically.”
He turns to me with tight lips. “It doesn’t matter what we think, only what the Famiglia wants. And I would advise you to keep those opinions to yourself, Isabelle. Times are more lenient, but there’s still a lot of traditionalists that hold Tommasso’s ears.”
Tommasso Genovese is not a man I like to think about. His photo with his big bushy eyebrows and thick mustache is what I imagine plastered in the dictionary under mafioso. I’ve only met Luca’s father a few times, and that’s more than enough for me.
My cheeks flame as I look away from him, ashamed by his scolding. I’ve never felt our age gap until now, a reminder he’s closer to my dad’s age than mine. I nod, keeping my head down, and we prepare for the rest of the post-dinner tasks in silence. When my shift ends, I hurry out the back door to my car without a word to António.
I understand where his apprehension comes from, but as a man, he’ll never have to consider the opposite. Women of the Famiglia have little control over their lives, but this is one thing I can control. Giving away my virginity is no hardship, and I don’t care to wait for marriage or someone I love. It holds no value to me other than to guarantee my freedom.
The only problem now is finding a random man to take it. My father and Ricky have given me a lot of freedom from their constant hovering since I started working, but my brother would definitely follow me into a bar to protect my virtue. So that leaves me with finding someone who doesn’t care about opposing him. A smile stretches across my face when I have the perfect wing woman in mind.
Chapter2
Isabelle
I sipthe rum and coke, the liquor warming my chest and burning away my nerves. It’s difficult not to flinch at the bitter flavor, but if I’m going to make it through tonight I need to loosen up.
The small sports bar is full of people, but according to Sonia this is normal for a Wednesday night. I’ve never been to Jersey City before since most businesses are under Irish protection. But I trust her judgement since she’s frequently in the area for her college courses, and she promises this is a pub that no one of importance visits. She said tonight would be perfect, something about the cover charge being half-off because of the rowdy occupants from the game on TV and the unofficial understanding that we keep our mouths shut if anything happens.
Whatever that means.
It didn’t sit well in my stomach, but since I’m not a regular—or ever—bar hopper and she is, I went with it. Unease eats at me, knowing she’s only helping me because she anticipates my brother is going to freak when he finds out. Her and Ricky have been on and off for as long as I can remember before something happened last year. I understand why he can’t let her go. The fact she pays for her college entirely herself since her father refused is admirable, but Sonia has a Mediterranean beauty to her that even has married men double glancing when she passes. Unlike my thick, wavy, dark hair, hers falls in luscious natural curls. Her striking seagrass eyes are something I envy. I don’t hate the rich brown color of mine, but they aren’t as enchanting as hers. The only thing I secretly exult in is my full figure that I have no desire to diminish, while Sonia works out tirelessly to slim down. She looks gorgeous, a runway ready model even, but it’s something I’ve never aspired to.
She leans to whisper in my ear. “The guy with the white t-shirt and khakis. He looks like an easy bang and bail.”
The crudeness of her words over my situation has me choking, and I cough up my drink and set it down. “Excuse me?”
Sonia raises a single dark brow. “I mean, we’re just looking for a one-time thing, right? To get rid of the wholepuritysituation?”
Right. My purity situation. I’ve been so caught up with people watching that my entire reason for being here keeps slipping my mind.
My stomach flutters with nerves and I nod. “Yes, it would be better if it was a one-time thing.”
One-time thing without an exchange of information. Someone that couldn’t be traced back to the Famiglia for both of our sakes. Not that they would ever blame Sonia, considering before Monday I’d never had a full conversation with her. We’ve only had brief interactions in the early mornings when she was sneaking out of our house before our mother caught her and gossip spread around the Famiglia.
So here we are, in the middle of a work week, on the prowl for anyone to break through my hymen. I grimace at that thought and pick up my drink again, downing more of the liquid courage.
I turn my head, trying to find the guy Sonia is talking about. There are a few dressed similarly, but no one that catches my eye. I may be desperate to lose my virginity, but I want to at least find him attractive.
My attention keeps being drawn back to the small crowd at the bar top. It seems to be made up of women dressed to the nines surrounding a couple of men. Their loud laughter reaches my ears as they hammer down the never-ending free shots handed to them. The taller one has an authoritative aura around him, especially the way the other men seem to move with him. Almost like a well-oiled unit. My eyebrows dip. The longer I watch, the more it reminds me of?—
Sonia lets out a low whistle. “Ambitious.”
I look at her. “What?”