Page 54 of Forever Theirs

“So, when I left to pursue my career in something that gave me joy and hope, she basically told me I’d be back, and when I failed and came running back home, I needed to be ready to finally fall in line with what was expected of me.” My breath was shaky as I blew it out in a slow stream through pursed lips. “It’s why I came here when everything happened with James. I can’t go home to that. I haven’t failed,” I whispered. “I just got… sidetracked, and I’m trying to find my way back to me. The life I want to live that makes me happy and fulfilled.”

“Do you think you could find that here?” Aiden asked.

My hair slid along my sleeping bag as I turned to face him once again. “I don’t know. I want to think so. I feel like I could, but I lost my way once because of someone else distracting me from my dreams. What if it happens again?”

There. That was it. The fear that had wormed its way into my heart and mind, but I hadn’t been able to pinpoint it until just now.

“I get that, I do, but what if you had two people wanting to help you stay on the path to your dreams? There to help you and support you no matter where that leads. A community that wants you to succeed in whatever makes you happy because this life is too fucking short, filled with too much shit, for any of us to do anything but what keeps that light flickering inside us.”

“How did you get so wise?”

His features shuttered. “By making a lot of mistakes I regret daily.”

“Your turn to spill your innermost thoughts and secrets.” I gave his hand a squeeze in encouragement. “You might feel better once you tell someone, if you haven’t already.”

“I haven’t.” His soft exhale brushed along my exposed arm. “I’m the reason Miles got injured, and was forced to leave the one thing he loved.”

My eyes flicked between his. “I don’t understand.”

“There was an attack, the last mission he went on, and I wasn’t there to stop it.”

My mind reeled, trying to connect the pieces, but what he said made little sense. “How could you have been there?”

His throat bobbed, the movement barely noticeable with the faint light from the headlamp he’d laid on the floor between us.

“I told you before that we both intended to become SEALs one day. When our first couple years in the Navy were up, he signed a new contract, and I didn’t.” My heart ached hearing the tremble in his voice. “I let my ex convince me to stay home, find a regular nine-to-five job, and get married instead of fulfilling the dream I had with my best friend. What we had planned since we were kids.”

“I don’t understand how that means you’re the one who got him injured?—”

“I wasn’t there for him,” he rasped. “If I would’ve followed through with what we promised each other, I would’ve been there with him…”

“Then maybe you both would’ve been hurt, or worse.” My heart leapt into my throat at even thinking that. What if things had turned out differently and these two amazing men weren’t here now, with me, giving me the best slice of life I’d ever experienced?

And it was because of more than the soul-shattering orgasms.

They were showing me how to truly experience life with someone—or someones, in this case—who truly supported you.

Aiden shook his head. “No, if I would’ve been there, I could’ve stopped it. Don’t you see, Aspen? My best friend almost died and has lingering pain and so much trauma all because I chose someone else over him. Someone who turned out to be so fucking awful, who made me so damn miserable every damn day. I almost lost Miles, and I will never, ever forgive myself for not being there when he needed me most.”

I let that last statement hang in the air for a moment before responding.

“But you’re here now,” I whispered. Reaching over, I ran my fingers through his soft, silky hair. “And I see the way you watch him, making sure he’s happy and taken care of.” As those words left my lips, it was like a light bulb went off in my mind. “He’s why you started sharing.” Aiden nodded. “Because he wouldn’t touch anyone, could only watch.”

Everything was making sense, and it was really fucking beautiful how strong and tight these two men were. They wanted the best for each other and constantly gave of themselves to ensure the other was happy.

“It was terrible when he first came home. It’s still not great. His nightmares keep him from sleeping at night and sometimes follow him into the day. He also has…” Aiden looked at me. “The scars sometimes hurt, which pulls him back into that last mission that almost killed him. He didn’t want anyone touching him, it was too much, but then it turned into more of him being used to being standoffish. So, yeah, the sharing, him watching, helped him get through those first few years. Until you.”

“I don’t know why,” I whispered. That was the truth.

“Whatever it is…” Aiden sat up and shifted to lean over me, his face hovering just over mine. “Please, Aspen, please don’t stop.” His soft lips brushed mine in a barely-there kiss before he fell back onto his sleeping bag. “I think that’s enough trauma bonding for the night, don’t you? I need my beauty sleep, remember?”

At my distracted nod, he clicked off the light, dousing us in darkness.

“Good night, Aiden,” I whispered.

“Good night, sweetheart.”

For several minutes, I stared into the darkness, mind still whirling with his revelations. This thing between the three of us was intense, yet I wasn’t overwhelmed like I was when I first arrived here. I felt more settled and at peace than I had in years. Even though I had no clue where all this would lead, I was happy, right here, right now.

---