Page 43 of Power Switch

“Trey.” She groans. “He didn’t do anything.”

“Then what's wrong, Mess?” Wetness pools in her lower lids, eyelashes damp from previous tears. Dropping her chin, I run my hand through my hair and tug at the long ends. “Are you upset about what I said earlier about Jessica? You know—”

“I love you, Trey.” Large tears slip down both cheeks that are bunched with her sad smile. “I love you so much that sometimes it physically hurts, and I shouldn’t ask you to keep doing this, but I am.”

For one beat, my heart is so full it could burst. How long have I wanted to hear those words from her, to know she’s in as deep as I am? Only to have fear seize the next beat at the heartache dripping from her tone and choice of words, both sounding more like the ending rather than the beginning.

“Keep doing what, Mess?” I say cautiously. Pulling back an inch, I force myself to give her space to breathe. Unlike Sam, the personal space invader.

“Sam is okay with the fake couple angle and even has some ideas on how it could work in our favor of gathering information for the case against Kyle. But he has one request.”

Pleading hazel eyes flick between mine and the floor.

Unease tightens my gut. Nerves have me shifting on the balls of my feet with eagerness. “And what did he request, Randi?”

“He doesn't want to look like a fool if we're caught together when he and I are supposedly a couple.”

“Okay,” I say, not understanding.

“That means giving up what time we have alone for a while. With the mole we have on the team, it wouldn’t be smart for us to even be together in this house. So we have to put a pause on… on us.”

I stand before she can finish. The oriental rug slides under the heel of my dress shoes as I turn to put some much-needed space between her and me. Hurt blends with anger merging with heartache as I pace from one side of the library to the other. The back of my neck burns as she tracks my movements.

“You say you love me, then agree to putting us on hold, all so people don’t think you’re cheating on him? It’s a fake relationship, Randi. That doesn’t make any damn sense.” The knuckles of my fingers pop as I curl them into tight fists at my side.

“He’s been hurt before and doesn’t want it to happen again. Trey, please understand, I’m doing my best with what I’ve been handed. You think I want to do this? You think I want to keep you at arm’s length until this charade with Sam is done? You know I don’t. But I have to.”

“You don'thaveto do anything,” I snarl at the book spines. I can't turn to face her. The pain of betrayal aches too much. I'm not really angry at her, more so the situation we're in. This fucked-up game we're playing that seems to get more complicated by the day.

“You know I do. You know what I’m up against and what has to be done.”

“Everything I've done to this point was—is—for you. Going to my parents, agreeing to be with Jessica, attending all the lame-ass parties this city loves to hold, and yet you want me to give up the one piece of us that's fucking holding me together?” Unable to stop, I slam a tight fist into the row of hardback spines that seems to be mocking me.

“Trey,” Randi yells. There’s a quick clicking of heels against the hardwood floor, and then she's on me, holding me tight, her front against my back. A sliver of the anger melts away with her touch. How does she expect me to give this up even for a day? “Please stop and let me explain.”

I turn so quick that she teeters back on her heels, eyes wide as she tips backward. Before she can fall, I grab hold of her shoulders. Without overthinking my actions, I haul her close and seal my lips over hers. A faint whimper pours from her mouth as I empty the overpowering emotions from my own body into hers with the devouring kiss. Her fingers wrap around the lapel of my jacket, pulling our bodies tighter together.

“Don't ask me to give this up. I can’t,” I say against her lips before nipping at her lower one and sinking my teeth into the tender flesh. “Don’t you see how much I need you, Mess? I can’t give you up, not even for one fucking day.”

With all the unstable aspects of me that have settled since she’s stepped into my life, I’m a little worried that without her, the unbalance will tip the scales once again. I don’t want to go back to being that person, the man without a purpose.

“I'm not asking you to give me up, Trouble. But like after the campaign, we need to stay at arm’s length for a little while, that’s it. We’ve done it before and survived, and we can do it again. I have to do this. You know I do. Every day, the stakes in this game are rising, and I want you… no, Ineedyou by my side while I figure this out. Please don't give up on me.”

“What if I say no, Randi? What if this is my line in the sand?”

“You won't,” she says softly. Hot breath brushes along the skin of my neck as she nuzzles me like she can't get close enough.

“Oh? And what makes you so sure, Mess?” She's right, but I'd love to hear her reasoning.

“Because you know if I don't do this, don't play along with the lie I've already created, then I'm back in the crosshairs with Kyle. This gives me a few months to figure things out without his threats. If he believes I’m truly not working with the DOJ, then maybe I’ll have a couple months of no one trying to kill me.”

I grumble into her hair knowing she's right.

“What are you more worried about? The distance part or me playing fake girlfriend with Sam?”

“Fucking both,” I admit. Resting my chin on the crown of her head, I wrap both arms around her, closing any space between us. “He gets to play the part I’ve never had with you. I’ve never been able to take you out on a date, hold your hand in public, touch you when others are looking. He’ll get that with you.”

“I guess I get that, but what you and I have had this past year is more than any public date can offer. Our stolen moments, the time we get to spend together, I cherish all of it. You know it will all be fake between Sam and me. He knows it's not real.”

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