Page 37 of Mine to Protect

“Done? Done with what? Where are you going?” I called out, a bit panicked. Craning my neck to see inside the room he disappeared into, I startled and jumped back, nailing my backside and head against the door when he appeared shirtless.

Holy hell. My mouth watered at the sight of his defined pecs, hard stomach, and full left arm covered from wrist to shoulder in blue and black ink. Every breath caught in my chest, sweat beading along my forehead and spine.

“To takeanothercold shower.” Taut muscles flexed and ripped down his arms as he jammed a finger in the direction of the couch. “Sit. Do not leave. Understood?” With another long perusal down my trembling body, he turned back to the bedroom and disappeared with a low string of curses.

The way he looked at me, wanted my body, was empowering instead of degrading or overwhelming. The want radiating off him and the constant struggle to hold himself back was more strengthening than demeaning. With Lance all those years ago, knowing someone longed over my body was belittling. But not Cas Mathews. Oh no. The control he had over his actions was sexy as hell, and so was the knowledge that he had to fight the persistent urge to pin me against a wall.

The throbbing between my thighs faded the longer Cas was out of the room, allowing worry and self-doubt to fill the void. I’d only slept with two guys before the assault, and neither was earth-shattering. What if I was terrible at sex? Or what if I couldn’t even do it? What if I freaked out the second we were naked? How embarrassing would a panic attack be in such an intimate moment?

This was a bad idea.

On the couch, exactly where he told me to wait, I tucked my anxious hands beneath my thighs.

Now that I could think clearly, the idea of doing anything with Cas would be terrible for many reasons, but mostly because I was scared, intimidated, and a lot embarrassed by my lack of experience. He would expect more, and when I couldn’t give it, would he walk away or even worse, feel sorry for me?

A quiet creak from the direction of his room signaled he was back, watching.

I had to end this before we went too far.

Mouth open, I turned toward him, ready to call it all off, but not a single word escaped. The sight of him wrapped in just a towel sucked every word, every thought from my head. The man was more than handsome. Water dripped from his hair in streams, cascading down his naturally tan skin as he scrubbed another towel against his hair.

“We… we need….” I willed my body to turn away to think straight, but my eyes remained glued to his naked chest. “Talk. We need to talk.”

“Isn’t that what I suggested?” At the undercurrent of humor in his tone, I peeled my gaze from his body up to his face, which was just as ruggedly beautiful. “Let’s go take care of the dog, and then we can talk.” With a smirk, he stepped back into his room, leaving the door open, and dropped the towel from around his trim waist.

Eyes wide, I ogled his naked backside. Each step sent a butt cheek flexing, making my mouth water.

I stumbled from the couch and bolted to the door. “I’ll meet you outside,” I squeaked out as the door swung open, and Benny and I dashed out into the cold.

By the time the front door opened again and Cas stomped down to the front porch, fully dressed, I had my nerves under control and speech prepared. Gazing out into the naked trees that surrounded our little cabin community, I felt more than saw him approach.

“Left my coat back at the ranger station. This is all I have.” A large black sweatshirt was clutched between his fingers. “Wasn’t sure how far of a walk your place was.”

Taking the soft cotton from his hand, I pressed it tight against my chest. “Thanks, but it’s not too far.” I was cold and desperately wanted to slip the sweatshirt on to ward off the crisp mountain air. But the second his scent-laced shirt enveloped me, there was no doubt I would lose the nerve to tell him we couldn’t happen.

His eyes followed each of my steps as I started down the gravel path.

“What’s wrong?” he asked at my side. “Something’s off.”

“Nothing. Well, not nothing. I’m worried that… I think us doing anything, you know, in private… it’s a bad idea. We’re working a case and need to focus on that.”

“I’m amazing at multitasking.” His warm breath brushed against the shell of my ear. The toe of my right hiking boot caught the ground, causing me to stumble forward. Hands around my biceps, Cas caught me mid-fall and pulled me to a halt. “Spit it out. What’s going on in that mind of yours, because I’m at a fucking loss. Just a few minutes ago, you were begging me to keep going, and now you sound like you don’t want this at all.”

“I don’t.”

“Bullshit,” he spit out and dropped his hands. “I’m calling bullshit, Lady.”

“It’s not,” I said defensively. “Well not technically. The case—”

“You changing your mind has nothing to do with the case. It’s why I wanted to talk. So before you end this, before we can get to the good stuff—because, Lady, it’s fucking great—I need to know a few things.”

The gravel crunched under my boots as I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. “What if I don’t want to tell you a few things?”

The cold wind brushed where his warm hands had held me tight, leaving me colder than I’d ever been. “Then you get your wish of this not going anywhere. I want you, Lady, but I’m not the guy who will pressure you into doing something before you’re ready. It’s your choice on what happens next.”

My choice.

Yes or no.

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