As much as I didn’t want to get sucked into whatever Sarah was about to say, I still found myself leaning forward, mirroring her pose.
Sarah’s eyes flicked around the office, I assumed to make sure no one else was listening in. “Did you know she’s here escaping a past?”
I shook my head.
“Didn’t think so. Remind you of someone?” she said with a grin. “Anyway, she’s running from some crazy ex apparently. It’s actually why she doesn’t like dogs. Apparently he had a few, and they were mean as hell. Nothing like Benny here.”
Okay, now I felt like a terrible human being for not liking her. But on top of the whole ‘not liking dogs thing, Sadie was weird. Really, really weird.
Sarah continued as I sat in shamed silence. “Listen, I’m not telling you to like her, but give the girl a chance. Though I doubt you will after what I’m telling you next.”
That didn’t sound positive. “Maybe you shouldn’t tell me, then.”
“Fuck that! It’s good stuff, girl. You need to embrace this talking stuff. It’s what girls do. Just watch, I’ll mold you into a woman yet.”
“You’ll make me a woman? What, you have a strap-on collection or something?”
Sarah tilted her head back with a loud bark of a laugh. “Do you even know what that is?”
“No,” I grumbled. But it didn’t make the joke any less funny. Damn, I missed being funny and witty. But that drew attention, unwanted attention. No, I held back, kept to myself and stayed as anonymous as possible. That was how I stayed safe.
“John and Sadie, the little freaky wallflower, are going out on a date.”
I blinked at my friend as I processed her words. “What?”
“John. Your John asked Sadie out on a date, like a legit ‘dinner and coffee and the hope of sex at the end’ kind of date.”
Unfamiliar jealousy twisted in my gut. I didn’t want John that way. His closeness didn’t make my body tremble with excitement like Cas’s did, but I did love his attention as a friend. His undivided attention.
Here I was, the stupid naïve woman once again.
“Well—” I swallowed back the lump forming in my throat. “—I hope it goes well.”
Brows furrowed in concern, she stretched across the desk and grasped my hand between hers. “You okay? Does that bother you?”
“I don’t… I don’t know.” I shook my head. “I don’t want to date John, but the idea of him going out withherdoesn’t sit right either. I'm selfish, aren’t I?”
“Kind of, yeah.” Sarah released my hand to lean back in her chair. “Everyone knowns John had his eye on you since day one, but he fell into the friend corner quick.”
With a frustrated eye roll, knowing full well she was right, I leaned back and stared at the popcorn ceiling. “I think I like him,” I admitted out of nowhere.
“John?”
“No, the hot guy. The dark and sexy stranger, Cas.”
“Do you know him enough to like him?”
“Besides his constant intense staring, no.”
“Then what do you like about him?”
“The tattoos?”
Sarah smiled and shook her head. “Then you’re attracted to him, babe. Liking means you know him, and attraction means you get all hot and bothered when he’s around.”
I rolled my eyes once more and glanced to Benny with a silent plea for help. “Fine, I find him attractive.”
“How could you not?”