Page 39 of Mine to Protect

Again I shrugged and attempted to pull the same thumb back to my lips, but his grip tightened, holding my hand against the counter.

“I mean, yeah. It’s been a long time, and what if I have a panic attack while we’re… you know.” I groaned and slapped a palm over my eyes.

Acting like this wasn’t the most bizarre conversation he’d ever had, Cas continued his questioning. “Do you have a lot of panic attacks?”

“I used to, but not as many lately. I manage them better now with the over-the-top rituals and Xanax.”

Cupping each cheek, he brushed the pads of his thumbs along my scorching cheekbones. “Don’t worry, Lady. We’ll go slow. I’ll take care of you, but you have to trust me and be honest. If something takes you sideways or I’m pushing you too far, you have to tell me.”

“Okay,” I whispered, unable to tear my gaze away from his. The dark depths held me, engulfing me in the now-familiar sensation of safety.

I never wanted it to end.

“Slow doesn’t mean gentle, Lady. Get that straight now. I told you before, I’m not a gentle man.”

“Honestly,” I said on a sigh, “that’s what I’m hoping for.”

13

Alta

I groanedand kind of whimpered to myself for the hundredth time in the two hours I’d been on shift, as I replayed our slightly random, very awkward conversation. I bet I sounded like a freaking lunatic, spewing all my quirks and issues one second, then ‘hoping’ for him to not be gentle. Who in the heck said stuff like that?

Me, it seemed.

Desperate me.

Ugh, this dark, outspoken, needy side was not the best side of Alta Johnson. I wasn’t weak except when he was around, but somehow it was empowering, knowing I could be weak because he was with me. How did any of that even make sense? Either way, all that security evaporated the second he stepped out the door to let me get ready for work. The paranoias and fears bubbled back to the surface, reminding me of the scared, anxious woman I really was.

A familiar female voice screeched over the radio, a faint crackle of static in the background, making me jump and my foot slip off the gas pedal. The dispatcher reported that a hiker called in, stating a man was seen camping along a trail, which was illegal outside of designated camping grounds in the park, and bonus, he seemed to be taking full advantage of Colorado’s legal marijuana law. Stretching across the seat, I snagged the radio and responded that I was somewhat close and would check it out.

As I U-turned to take a shortcut across the park, the bright rays of the setting sun momentarily blinded me until I could lower the visor. Pinks and blues highlighted the pre-evening sky, creating a beautiful backdrop to the snow-capped mountains. That was what kept me here the past couple of years. These beautiful mountains, the animals, the scenery—everything was the perfect example of serenity. Something I desired on a daily basis.

Fifteen minutes later, I killed the truck’s engine and radioed that I was on scene. The truck door creaked as I shoved it open, putting my shoulder into it against the excessive wind. Rubbing my hands together, I surveyed the empty parking lot. At that altitude, the temperature was significantly colder than the bottom, but at least I would be protected from the wind on the trail. Taking my flashlight, heavy coat, gloves, and beanie from the seat, I slammed the door shut, the bang echoing through the dark silence.

Investigating before the sun set would’ve been ideal, but it didn’t work out that way, and I had a job to do. Who knew what that dumbass was doing camping illegally, but poaching was my number one concern. The animals in the park weren’t too scared of humans because of the millions of visitors each year, which made them prime prey for illegal hunting. That was why I had to go out now and not wait until morning; I wouldn’t forgive myself if an animal was slaughtered because I was too scared of the dark to do my job.

“Birdie,” John called through the radio. “Birdie, answer me. Over.”

Only after I pulled on both gloves and situated my hat over my already frozen ears did I pull the radio from my belt. “Yeah, Johnny Boy? Over.”

“Do not go out there alone. I’ll send someone out to meet you. That’s an order. Over.”

Again I glanced around the empty, dark parking lot. Nearby branches creaked and groaned as the high wind whipped through the trees, creating an eerie feel. “I’m already here and don’t want to wait. I’ll be fine. Over.”

“Alta, we had another report come in that they saw a man matching our illegal camper’s description with a rifle slung over his back. Do not, I repeat, donotgo in there alone. Over.”

My nostrils flared as anger fostered in my veins, warming my chilled blood. “You know what that means, John. You can’t expect me to wait while that idiot hunts one of our animals. I’m going up there. Tell whoever’s coming up to meet me when they can. Over.”

“I’m giving you a direct order. Over.”

The unmistakable pop of gunfire rattled through the parking lot. I held a breath, waiting for more. “I heard gunshots. I’m going in.”

Poor John. His belligerent voice bellowed through the radio, but instead of listening, or having him give away my position to the idiot who just shot a gun in a national park, I twisted the knob all the way down to silence him and clipped the radio back onto my belt.

The worn dirt trail hushed each of my soft steps. Gun in one hand, flashlight in the other, I concentrated to pick up on anything out of the ordinary in the dense forest. Every snap of a twig or rustle of leaves spiked my nerves higher. Sweat built and dripped down my spine and temples despite the cold temperature. With each step, I fought the urge to sprint back to the safety of the truck. But I couldn’t go back, not when a helpless animal out there needed me to muster my courage to protect them.

Another, much louder boom echoed amongst the trees. Self-preservation kicked in and my knees buckled, sending me falling face first to the dirt. After several failed attempts, my trembling fingers finally found the flashlight’s switch and flicked it off. Dense blackness engulfed the surrounding area. Lying on the cold ground with the nocturnal animals calling all around, panic set in, stealing my breath and train of thought.

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