Page 86 of Memories of Us

How in the hell would I survive three states over without her? Not knowing if she was okay, safe, happy? Damn, I wanted her happy and taken care of. By me.

But what if I slipped? What if one day I decided to give in to the whiskey’s call? Those urges would always be there, so did that mean I was never allowed to be happy? If I did slip, Beks would be there for me, be the one to help me through the struggle of sobriety again.

But was I ready for someone to see me? All of the broken and jagged pieces, not just the good side. If I dug down deep and searched for the truthful answer, it would be a yes. Yes, I was tired of doing this alone and believing I was alone. Having Beks at my side, being the additional strength I needed to continue to fight those demons, was what I wanted, what I needed. Her in my life was a need, not a want.

I needed that woman as much as she needed me.

“Let's get this shit done with,” Dad said from the leather couch with a glare. He looked like shit. But I wasn't one to talk—so did I. The lack of sleep and swelling did nothing for my mood or appearance. “I have someone coming by to check out the place this afternoon.”

Hell. Of course he did. Money-hungry, gold-digging bastard. Since he couldn't access more than his monthly allowance from the trust, he looked for money any way he could. And selling our family’s homestead was it.

The older of the two attorneys stood and looked my direction with a smile. “Before we get started, Mr. Graves left something for his grandson.” In shock, I forced all my attention to the man. “He asked me to give it to him, let him read it in private, before we divide the estate.”

I took the thick manila envelope from his outstretched hand. The paper crinkled in my grasp.

“We'll be here when you're finished.”

I nodded to the older man and turned for the door. Not knowing where to go, I meandered through the house and paused outside Pappy's office. One step inside, the rich smell of leather and Old Spice confirmed I was in the right spot to read Pappy's last words.

The leather chair molded around my back and thighs with a sigh. Using my index finger, I ripped open the sealed envelope and pulled out the stack of papers within. On top was a handwritten note.

Brenton,

There was so much I wanted to say before the end, and I want you to know not coming to find you, settling this in person, is a regret I took to the grave. I'm a coward, and I'm sorry.

I always knew what type of man my son was, what he was molding you and your brother into. All those summers and holidays, I paid your father for that time with you two. I'm not proud of it, but it was all I could do to try and save you boys. Each visit I noticed you two slipping further into your father’s lie, and still I did nothing more than keep paying for your time.

And then one night it all changed.

More lives than you can imagine were affected the night of your accident. You deserve to know what happened, what happened behind the scenes. You and that poor girl.

Enclosed you'll find the legal documents we had written up hours after the accident. One is hers, and the other was meant for you. We thought separating you two was the best for both families.

You had no idea the battle that went on behind closed doors.

You didn't just hit an animal. You hit a calf that had gotten out from our fence due to her father's lack of maintenance of the property. Her father wanted to sue us for you driving high and hurting his daughter, plus with the news of the baby, threaten to toss in statutory rape. We had him for gross incompetence, and he had us. It was a stalemate.

Instead of firing him, we agreed to keep him on, pay for her medical care, and give her a small settlement. In exchange, he didn't press charges for the wreck or the relationship between you two and agreed not to sue.

We decided it was best for neither of you to know the truth. It would keep you apart if both of you thought the other had been the one to walk away. It was sheer luck that you didn't remember anything when you woke up in rehab. It could have been from the length of time we kept you sedated to help with the withrawl symptoms or head trama from the wreck. The doctors never gave us a solid reason why your memory from that night and other memories were erased. Then when you went into the military after getting out of rehab. I thought it confirmed the fate story I gave you that we'd made the right decision in splitting you two up. You were walking away from your father, and that girl was going to college with the money we provided.

It wasn't until years later that I found the other document enclosed. It was given to me by my dear friend, who gave you this letter. He found it hidden in the papers from his father.

You have to believe I had no idea what your father and hers did. I had nothing to do with the decision about the baby.

But still, I'm guilty because I held on to the information for years without telling you, because we all agreed that night never to tell you two the truth. And I don't go back on my word. However, it's time you know it all, and she does too.

Take care of her, Brenton. Give her whatever she needs to heal. She deserves that from us. And now that I'm gone, fire that rat bastard father of hers. After I'm gone, the agreement I signed dies with me.

I'm very proud of the man you became, so it's hard to regret the decision to keep you two apart completely. You left, got out of our family’s dysfunction and charted your course. The family name means something again because of you, and I thank you for that.

For many reasons, I'm breaking tradition and leaving my full estate and land to you. I know you'll take care of it and keep it in the family as our ancestors wanted. Our family fought and bled on this land, and I'm honored to pass it down to you, Brenton.

Honored.

Take care of it, but more importantly, take care of you. Stay as far away from the evil money brings as you can. Find something stable in your life you can hang on to like a lifeline to reality, or you'll drown. Find someone to remind you of what matters most.

I love you.

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