Page 43 of Finding Fate

"Fine," I sigh. "All my boyfriends were out of—do I have to?”

“Yes,” he laughs.

“I dated out of loneliness, I guess. Someone to be there when you needed them instead of me always being there for someone else. That’s sad, right?” I don’t give him a chance to agree with me. “No one I loved, and no one lasted more than a few months. It was just nice having someone around who thought about me. But it never lasted because they soon realized they came third. Destiny and Mom always came first." It probably doesn't make sense to someone like him who never feels alone.

“What about you? Did you ever put yourself first?”

“There wasn’t time.”

“And even now you’re not. You’ve put your sister before you. You’re risking your own life, even when she’s not here. That’s....”

“Ignorant?”

“Brave.”

I swallow back a lump of tears. “Your turn.”

He sighs and tucks a hand behind his head. "Seems our complicated relationships have the same theme. All my girlfriends are out of convenience too. No one I see long-term, just for a while. No one who will leave a lasting impression."

Well that's kind of sad. It's okay for me because I'm odd. He's not.

"Oh, that's—"

"Being a dick, right." Rolling his head, he looks to the ceiling. "My sisters tell me all the time, so go ahead. You can pile on too."

When I don't respond immediately, his eyes cut to me.

"Um, I guess it depends on why you choose those types of girls. Is it just for... you know...."

"Sex?"

"Yeah."

"Damn, woman, can you even say it?"

"Yes, I can say it."

"Say it. And say it sexy. Say ‘sexy sex.’"

I bury my veiled face into my hands and groan. "You're impossible."

"Just a dude trying to get a hot girl to say ‘sexy sex.’ And no, it’s not just for tangling in the sheets. That part’s a bonus. But if you go into a relationship not expecting much, then you don’t get disappointed when it doesn't go anywhere. You don't end up getting hurt or left wanting more. So no, I'm not using them, just not expecting much."

My brain froze when the term ‘hot girl’ left his lips in reference to me, but it kicks back into gear when I realize what he said is really sad. And lonely.

"That's a sad outlook for someone... like you."

"That's life, Pops. Sad but true." His one good eye shutters closed as he takes a deep breath.

The setting sun douses our little shack in soft rays of light, highlighting his face. How could someone like him ever be left by someone, left wanting more when the other person didn't? A heaviness settles into the silence, making me miss the earlier banter.

"What did you want to tell me earlier?" I whisper, then settle against the divider, readying for another long night of talking. Before him, I was slipping away day by day, forgetting why I was even here. But with him I'm stronger. Happier, if I can even say that word while being a captive and fearing for my life on a daily basis. All I know is since he arrived, the nights are easier and my future... well now I might actually want one of those.

"First take it off."

Nervously I glance out to the camp. "Okay, but then you'll tell me."

The light breeze tickles my cheeks and neck as the material falls to the floor. It's glorious. For a second I shut my eyes and revel in the freedom until he says the last thing I ever expect.

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