Page 98 of Finding Fate

"And here I thought when you said you wouldn't leave, everything you said this morning...." Turning, he runs a hand over his head and begins to walk away. "Damn, I'm such a fucking fool."

"Nash, stop. I don't want him. I want you," I say as I lace our fingers together and pull him to a stop. "I just... didn't know if you'd want me too. You know... after."

"You gotta be kidding me, Fate."

I drop his hand and shove both of mine into my pockets. "So that's a no."

"That's a 'how are you so damn oblivious.' I've told you multiple times, showed you how I feel about you, what I want from us. I've been waiting on you to decide, waiting for you to be ready to have this conversation."

"Oh," I breathe and dig the toe of my Converse into the grass. "I don't want to leave."

"Well we’ll have to at some point. Drake won't let me live here forever," he says with grin. "You gotta say it, Pops."

"Say what?" I groan and toss my hands in the air. "That I'm ready for this to be over, but at the same time I'm scared that as soon as it is, you'll move on to the next girl? That every night those four months I dreamed of you, of us? That somehow in some backward, messed-up way, I fell little by little every day for you? What, what do you want me to say?" I shout.

He takes a step to pull me against him. "First off, I won’t leave you, so stop planning our end before we've had a real chance to begin. Second, if you falling for me is backward and messed up, then we’re perfect for each other because I did too. I love you, Fate Haley, and I need you to stay because losing you once almost killed me. I wouldn't survive round two."

My heart trembles and constricts with fear, happiness, love—hell, every emotion pours through my veins at his words. He loves me. Loves me. And it's the first time anyone besides family has uttered those three little words to me.

Looking up to meet his brown eyes, I can't help but grin. "I think I love you too."

He rolls his eyes and gives my ass an open-palm smack. "You really have a way with words there, Pops."

I smack his ass back, which turns his smile mischievous, brows rising in challenge. "I just mean I've never been in love before, so I don't have anything to compare it to and I obviously don't have anyone to talk to about it. I was trying to talk to Mac, but then you got all pissy."

He grips my hand in his and we walk back to the house, which is now a good distance away. "Er, yeah, sorry about that. I'm a little—"

"Possessive?"

"I was going to say cautious." With a sigh, he rubs his free hand down his face and looks toward the trees. "Remember when I told you I didn’t cheat because I know what it feels like to be on the other side?"

"Oh. Oh. So you thought me and Mac...?" I bust out laughing but sober when I find him stone-faced. Guess it's not as funny to him. "I told you I've never wanted him that way. As long as we've known each other, it's almost dad/daughter or maybe brother/sister." Just the thought of being as intimate with Mac as I've been with Nash makes me shudder. “Want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

I pause mid-stride and cross my arms across my chest. “Seriously? You badger me for details on my past and you won’t give up this bit? Come on, tell me.

“Hey, I don’t interrogate. If I did, you’d have given up this computer guy’s name by now, and I’d be in DC taking care of the issue.”

I smile and move to wrap my arms around his waist. “I know you would, but I need to get his physical location again. It’s been months, you know. Then the FBI will take it from there. I don’t want you risking your life, again, for me. So, the cheater?”

He groans and looks to the sky. “There isn’t much to tell. We dated in high school and I thought she was it. When the hottest girl in school picks you as her boyfriend, you just go with it and hang on tight. We had fun, but then we graduated and things shifted. I’d come home during long leaves to see her and the family, but each time I came back she was a little more distant, little more preoccupied with the life she had without me. When all the shit went down and I was discharged, it forced the issue since I was moving back.”

His hold tightens around my back, pulling me closer. “Apparently she wanted someone who could offer her more than a disgraced Army grunt. And she left. Left with the guy she’d been fucking behind my back while I was serving our fucking country. The fucker came to pick her up from our damn apartment. The one I paid for the whole time I was serving so we could have a place of our own when I came home.

“I found out later on that she and that asshole started fucking the day I shipped off to basic training. She didn’t care about me, didn’t care about anything other than making sure she was taken care of. That day she left, she said I’d never amount to anything and she wouldn’t stick around wasting her life on someone like me.”

"That bit—" I yelp as he yanks me to a stop. What’s his deal? Glancing up, I find him scanning the surrounding area, gun in hand instead of resting in his holster.

"Let's get inside," he says, still scouring the area.

I look each way but don't find anything. "What's going on?" The intensity in his stance and stare sends my pulse racing.

Nash's long strides force me to jog to keep up as we move toward the house. "Something doesn't feel right, like eyes are on us. I might be paranoid, but I'm not taking any chances. Not when it comes to you."

Back pressed against the mudroom wall, I try to steady my breathing from the quick jog as he peers through the back door, phone at his ear, talking to Raider about the new development.

"They’ll circle back," Nash says as he stuffs the phone back into his front pocket. "Should be here in half an hour or so."

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