Page 46 of Finding Fate

Nash

Today

"Damn. Seriously? Who’stracking her fucking prints?"

Raider shakes his head and rests back onto his elbows. "We're looking into it. Get your shit together, man, and go see that damn woman you've been obsessing over for months."

Ha. Obsessing over. If he only knew how right he was, maybe he wouldn't phrase it like that. But he doesn't, so I shouldn't hold it against him, the bastard. But he's right. I should find a shirt, finish getting dressed and go out there. Drum up some semblance of courage to see the woman I've dreamt about every night for months. But I can't. Nervous energy has me itching to get out there, but fear of what I'll find once I do keeps me planted here on this bed.

The silence must speak volumes to my friend.

"What the fuck happened over there, Snowflake?" His tone is more concerned than accusing. "You can tell me. No judgment, no jokes."

I have to hand it to Raider. For a guy who could snap most men in two without breaking a sweat, he's crazy sensitive and a good friend. He knows I'm hurting. Everyone knows. But where the hell do I even start?

Taking a deep breath in, I lean forward on my elbows and clasp my hands. "The bastards caught me on my way back to get her. Shitheads knew that jungle better than me. I took a few out but more kept coming, and even I couldn't fight off that many."

"Nice humble brag there, jackass."

My smile isn't forced as I stare down at the dog between us. "I'm not sure what happened between the time they caught me and when I woke up in that damn shack, but when I did, she was there. Pops and I were kept in the same piece-of-shit shack with just a flimsy dividing wall separating us. They kept guards outside, so my escape options were limited, especially when I had to factor in someone like her. The only thing I could do was stay alive—"

"Which meant keeping your smartass mouth shut."

"Are you going to let me finish or nag me every fucking second?"

"So fucking sensitive," he mumbles and closes his eyes. "You may continue."

"Every day was the same. They would beat the shit out of me to get me to talk, then drag her off."

"For?"

"Chores." The mattress springs groan under my clenching fists. "At least that was what she told me, but I didn't believe her. Thought maybe she was lying since she knew what I'd do if I found out they were hurting her in that way." Long wet strands of hair smack my face as I attempt to shake out the bombarding memories. Stretching across the bed to the end table, I snag a hairband and drag my fingers through to pull it back. "That woman out there kept me alive, man. They only gave her a little food and water, but every damn meal she shared with me. At first I fought it, then realized I'd be no good if I was dead. Every morning they dragged her out and it broke me, knowing I couldn't do shit."

"Hell, if the days were that bad, I can't imagine the nights. Nights are fucking worse." Raider’s voice turns distant, and when I look at him, he's staring at the wall, unblinking.

Shit. Sometimes I forget how long he was in the Navy before Drake recruited him. Who knows what he's seen as a SEAL. My time in Africa was probably a cake walk compared to some of his missions.

"No, the nights... those were ours. It could’ve been a lot worse, but it wasn't because we had each other. Every night we reminded ourselves of who we were and talked about everything just to keep the other sane. At least on nights when I could pull information out of her."

My smile grows, and the almost forgotten sensation of joy fills my veins and mind as the happier memories of our talks, her reluctance to open up and her naïveté push to the surface. It was a shock, but damn if her innocence wasn't like a welcomed cold shower. She's not like the others with her unique hidden strength.

Sometimes at night, when I'm staring at the ceiling trying to calm my overactive mind enough to get a few hours of sleep, I think back to when the shift happened. The shift in me. When it went from saving some random woman to protecting the only person who matters. Maybe my guard was down all those dark nights. I guess it's easier to open up like that, somehow freeing.

When it happened doesn't matter. It happened, and now the woman who stole a chunk of my heart and wiggled her way into my soul is here.

Ugh, I sound like my sisters. All their drama and emotional instability has bled over to me, and now here I am a damn mess. Sitting here wondering if it's going to happen again, where I'm the one wanting more and the other person doesn't. Already went through that shit once and have done everything I can to keep it from happening again. But damn that Poppy with her sneaky innocent quirkiness, beautiful blue eyes, and blind courage that stripped down my toughest defenses.

My smile falls. Shoving off the bed, I pace, the dog hot on my heels. "It was fine like that for over a week. We got into a routine and it was okay. But then something happened, and it changed her. Hell, it changed me. After that, it was different. She was different. After that one night, it was impossible to pull her out of her own damn head."

I pause and look to Raider, who's watching with a cautious eye. "I'm afraid to ask, Snowflake. What happened?"

"I only know the part I saw. The rest, what happened that night, only she knows."

---