Page 52 of Turbulent Fires

We move to the shadows, and Audrey lies down. I join her. The cool grass feels good after being in the stuffy room for hours. The sky’s infinite and filled with possibilities.

“I’m starting to think about things,” Audrey says after a few moments.

“What sorts of things?”

“Like future things,” she says with hesitancy. My heart skips a beat. This would normally be the time I’d jump to my feet and run for the hills. My toes aren’t so much as twitching, though. I’ve fallen for this woman, and I don’t see any running in my future unless it’s straight to her. Wow, I have changed since meeting this woman, but instead of feeling like binds are locking around me, I feel like I’m being set free.

“I’ve been thinking of future things too.”

“I’m not used to this,” she says. “I’m not used to standing still, but no one has ever made me feel the things you make me feel.”

“I know what you mean. I’ve spent years pretending I’m a guy who flies and has fun, not a man who wants more... like white picket fences and happily ever afters. For some reason, though, I’ve been having more than a few strange thoughts these last few months.”

I’m very aware we’re both being careful in what we’re saying. We’ve been so determined not to get into real relationships our entire lives that it’s hard to break the cycle. We’re trying, though, and I consider this progress.

“I guess we’re kind of an official couple,” she finally says as if the words are being ripped from her. I pull her close, cradling her head against my chest as I chuckle. She stiffens, but I don’t let her go. “Don’t you dare make fun of me.”

“I promise I’m not making fun of you. It’s just that I’ve been yours since that first flight. You’ve been mine, as well. It’s refreshing to finally hear you admit it.”

She smacks my chest in protest, but she relaxes in my arms. I gaze at the stars and realize I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I’m falling in love with this woman, and it’s only going to get stronger from here on out.

Chapter Nineteen

Audrey

Our time in London was fun, but we eventually had to get back to the real world. Luckily, Wolf got called away on another trip, and I went home to my condo. The separation is much harder than I ever thought possible, which is why I force myself to confront the emotion even if I don’t know what to do with what I’m feeling.

We’ve been together far more than not over the past couple of months, and when he isn’t around, I miss him. I’ve avoided feeling this way for my entire life and have no idea what to do about it.

I pull back a little, forcing myself not to text him all day, not to call him every hour, and not to wait by the phone to hear from him. I need to have a life outside of Wolf. A woman who wraps her entire world around a man is sure to lose herself. It’s unsustainable.

I’ve heard you can have a healthy relationship and still be yourself. I’m not sure how to do that. Balance has never been one of my strongest virtues. When I feel like I’m getting out of control, I go to the one sure thing in my life... my bestie.

I call Chloe, who agrees to meet me at the park. It’s a nice, sunny day in Seattle, and we both feel better when we start moving. I arrive a few minutes before her at an outside café next to the park. I place our order, and it arrives just as she does with Peapod in her stroller, sound asleep.

“You’re a wonderful woman,” she says as she takes a seat, then wraps her hands around her extra-foamy vanilla chai.

“I know what feeds the soul,” I tell her with a laugh as I sip on my iced white mocha. She picks up a blueberry scone, takes a bite, and sighs. She gives me a long look.

“What’s happening with your face? Something’s going on?” We’re never good at keeping anything from each other.

“I have no idea what you mean.”

“You have thatI’m spiralinglook going on. You’re not about to do something stupid, are you?”

I let out a long sigh. “I think I’m in love,” I tell her, feeling my heart pound hard. She looks at me for a moment before she bursts out laughing.

“I could’ve told you that a month ago.”

“Don’t make fun of me, I’m seriously freaking out here.” I guzzle my drink before stuffing my third cookie in my mouth. “And I’m gaining weight because I’m stress eating!”

“Oh, the horror,” she says as she widens her eyes and covers her mouth. I glare at her, and she bursts out laughing again.

“I’m serious, Chloe. I’ve never let someone in like this before. Now, he’s saying he can picture a future. I said it too, but now, I don’t know, it’s scary. I miss him when he’s gone!” These words are said as pure accusation as if he’s doing this to me on purpose. I know it’s irrational, but my world’s chaotic right now and I can’t seem to be reasonable.

Her lips are twitching, but she’s desperately trying to hold herself together. I appreciate it. She takes another drink, then bites her scone. When she swallows, she gives me a serious look.

“Needing someone isn’t a sign of weakness,” she assures me. “We all need people.”

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