“That’s easy for you to say. You’ve never been scared like me.”
“Well, that’s what makes us besties. We have our strengths and weaknesses. But look how much drama I went through when I was dating Mason. I was practically hyperventilating half of our relationship. It all worked out in the end, so I caused myself a hell of a lot of stress for no reason. Learn from your bestie’s mistakes,” she warns.
“That’s a good point.”
She leans forward. “Do you trust him?”
I think on this for a moment, then smile. “Yes, he’s honest for sure, sometimes a little too much.”
“And you love him.” I feel that moment of panic followed by bliss. How can I feel two conflicting emotions at the same time?
“Yes, I love him, even if it terrifies me.” I sip my drink again, then take in some deep breaths and calm myself.
“Well, the only question is, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to wait for him, or take fate into your own hands?”
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I think I’m going to write.”
She laughs. “You already write.”
“I think I’m going to try writing a book. I love my blog, and I don’t want to give it up, but I’ve been writing more of my thoughts, more of my adventures, a lot of things I don’t put into the blog. I don’t know that I’ll ever finish an actual book, but it seems sort of therapeutic to write down stories.” I feel foolish saying it.
“That’s amazing. Aud. You’re so dang talented, I know you’ll make the best book ever.” I grin, so glad to have her. I don’t know why it’s scary to talk about personal things. I realize it’s all me and has nothing to do with her. It’s most likely the same when it comes to Wolf, but I’m not quite ready to admit that.
“I don’t know what will happen, I just know I’m feeling restless and need to do something about it.”
“Well, what will you write about? What’s the story?”
“I’m not sure. I’ve been writing little stories here and there, adventures and things...” I trail off. This is the hard part, sharing something so personal.
“Do you have anything you can show me?”
“Would you believe that I’m sort of scared to?”
She laughs. “You blog all of the time, but you’re afraid to show your writing to your best friend?” She shakes her head.
“I know, I know, I’m being foolish.” I pull my laptop from my bag and open it. It’s funny how hard my heart’s pounding. I don’t get it. I’m a confident woman, but this, for some strange reason, makes me nervous.
I look over what I’ve written. It all began with a few paragraphs, just like writing my blog, then it turned into a page, then a chapter, then multiple chapters. It’s sort of shaping up into a story.
I push the computer over to my best friend then fight to not bite my nails as she reads. She’s wearing a smile, and even laughs a few times. My heart thunders as I wait. After about ten minutes, which feels like three hours, she looks up with a grin.
“This is amazing, Aud. You really are talented.” I let out a deep breath.
“It’s sort of about a woman who thinks she needs freedom to become whole. She travels the world searching for herself, not realizing she’s collecting puzzle pieces that only need to be put together to find out that she’s been whole the entire time.”
She grins. “And the man who always seems to find her is nice too,” Chloe tells me.
“Well, in every book or movie or story worth telling, there’s romance in one way or another.”
“That’s true, even a serial killer normally stalks his victim because he’s obsessed with her. It’s not always healthy love, but there’s romance in everything.”
A shudder runs through me. “Love has caused wars and death. Romance can be wonderful or the demise of mankind.”
“Well, if it were easy, it wouldn’t be worth finding,” she points out. “This story sounds a lot like you and Wolf.”
I sigh. “I wasn’t intending it to be about us, but at the same time, writing it all out has made me understand it, figure it out. Every time I seem to type something new, Wolf’s laugh slips in, the sound of his voice washes over me, the way he looks at me when I turn to find his gaze on me, as if he’s lost and I’m his anchor in the storm. I even love the way he fought with the dang horse while we were in London. It’s impossible for me to write anything without Wolf in mind when he’s so prevalent in my life.”
“Is it helping you figure anything out?”