Page 46 of Turbulent Fires

I shift as I study my best friend, the soft curve of her smile, the glow in her eyes that has nothing to do with highlighter. “True happiness looks like an aura surrounding you. I love it.”

“I’m very happy,” she assures me. She stands and places Peapod in the bassinet. I stand so I can see her peacefully sleeping. She really is a sweet little doll I could cradle all day... screaming, messy diapers, and all.

“Mason and I are figuring it all out together, which is great too. I can’t imagine a better partner at my side for this journey. Maybe it’s not as sexy as it was in the beginning, but it’s even better because our love is deep and true. We’ll have hard times, and great times, but we’ll stick together and someday sit back and enjoy this life we’re building now. That gets me through the sleepless nights and crying fits when I’m so exhausted I don’t know what to do with myself.”

I’m quiet for a moment as I process her words. “Do you ever get scared that you picked one person and said forever sounds plausible? Do you worry you’ll end up hating each other, that one of you will cheat, or the love you feel now could easily turn to hate?”

Chloe turns with an introspective look in her eyes. “Of course I have fears. I’d be a fool not to. There are days I hate everyone, but I know those feelings will pass; it’s only my hormones going haywire. One thing I love about Mason is when I ask for an hour alone, he respects me enough to understand and doesn’t need to ask why. Being a woman comes with a lot of blessings. It also comes with a lot of crazy hormones, especially when pregnant and right after. If we understand that, and have a loving partner, they get it as well. When I do get freaked out, I assure myself it will pass, and I’ll come right back to where I started. I know my love for Mason will continue to grow. I also realize we’ll have bad days. We simply have to get through them, but it’ll be worth it in the end. I want an epic love story, and no great romance is ever remembered if nothing goes wrong. We need to have the lows in order to truly appreciate the beautiful highs.”

“I’m so scared that true love is impossible. Don’t you have to be one-hundred-percent sure of another person to know it can last?”

She laughs. “I think it’s even better when you aren’t sure. Nothing in life is guaranteed. Living takes effort. We can try to blame others for our faults, and we can expect others to pick up the pieces, but we know better than that. We know our strongest advocate is ourselves. We can be our own heroes, yet appreciate the help and strength of a lover or friend. If we wait in the tower to be rescued, we might die alone. If we take destiny into our own hands, we have the power to find true bliss. I fought love, and Mason was strong enough to slay dragons. I didn’t have to wait in the tower, I simply needed to take down the gate so he could get to me.”

I grab a pillow and hug it to my chest as I lean against the couch. “So hypothetically speaking... if someone had a thing going on with a guy that’s supposed to be fun and casual, but might be starting to feel like more...” I trail off, unsure of what I’m trying to say.

Chloe laughs. “Like maybe you and Wolf?”

I glare. “I didn’t say that. We’re talkinghypotheticals.”

She laughs. “You can lie to others, but not to your bestie,” she smugly tells me. “Besides, you can tell me all day long that glow in your cheeks is from being with Little Pea, but I even see it on your cheeks when we FaceTime. I’ve never seen you act this way before. Heck, I’ve never seen a man last this long around you.”

“I’ve been in the sun a lot, that’s why my cheeks are glowing,” I tell her. Why is this so hard for me to accept?

“You’ve been in a dreamy state from the first time you met Wolf on that plane ride. You have a well-loved aura about you, and it’s great.”

I throw my head back and groan. “It wasn’t supposed to be this way. He’s... he’s... Wolf. He’s carefree and commitment-phobic. This can only end in disaster.”

“He brought you soup when you didn’t feel good,” Chloe points out. “He remembers everything you tell him, hasn’t once guilted you for spending time with me, and has a smile that makes people stop in their tracks. He’s been honest with you, and is always available to talk even when traveling. I don’t think he’s going anywhere.”

I sigh. “I like him so much more than I should, and no matter how much I try to talk myself out of it, I can’t. I miss him when we aren’t together. I’m also terrified.”

“Why are you so scared?”

“I’m afraid of needing him. I’m afraid of losing myself. I’m afraid of building something that can be destroyed with one good storm.”

“We all have those kind of fears. But without risk there can be no reward. The right person doesn’t erase you, they hold you up and become a part of you. Two become one, but that doesn’t mean you’re erased, it means you’re stronger. You can have a great love and independence too.”

“He does make me take chances, but he doesn’t force me into anything. He respects me. What if that stops?”

“Then you address it. If the problem doesn’t get fixed, you end it, and you heal. It might hurt for a while, but it won’t keep you down forever. That’s what’s beautiful about love. Some think we have only one soulmate in life. I don’t believe this. I think we can have more than one, and that’s why we’re so afraid. We’re terrified we’ll make the wrong choice. We might. But we might not. Love is worth the risk.”

I smile. “When did you become so wise and all-knowing?”

“Motherhood. I’m practicing for the teenage years.” A shudder moves through both of us.

“I don’t know how anyone survives the teenage years.”

“Amen,” she says with a laugh.

“I’ll try to stop overthinking.”

She laughs again. “No you won’t, but that’s okay. It’s all part of your charm. What you can stop doing, though, is running. Think all you want, but don’t give in to those fears. Embrace what you have. It could be the greatest love story of all time.”

We sit together as I realize my life’s changing. I’ve always liked order, and change scares me, but maybe it’s what I need to move forward in life. I’m clearly seeking more chaos, and I’ve had a lot more fun than ever before. Maybe it’s about taking bigger leaps. I can do that. I’m terrified, but I’m also eager to see what happens next. I guess I need to be eager for the next chapter to begin instead of afraid to turn the page.

Chapter Seventeen

Wolf

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