Page 70 of Revive Me

She laughs. “No, seriously.”

I take my time chewing as I think over my answer. Then I swallow and say, “Steak. Doesn’t matter how many times I’ve eaten it, somehow, it’s always going to be my favorite.” Gesturing at my cheesesteak, I add, “It’s probably why I was only half-kidding about this cheesesteak.”

She’s smiling as she shakes her head. “For some reason, I expected you to go in the opposite direction and say some kind of greasy, super unhealthy fast food.”

My nose scrunches in distaste. “Definitely not. I won’t argue that some of them taste really good, but I don’t think any exist that don’t make me feel like total shit immediately afterwards.”

I’m too busy taking another giant bite of my cheesesteak to notice Lily’s hesitation.

“So…then what’s the excuse for smoking?”

My eyebrows rise as I look up and meet her gaze. She’s clearly calling me out.

After a moment, I sigh and drop the sandwich on my plate. “Touché. It’s a filthy habit.”

She snorts, which might be the cutest fucking sound I’ve ever heard, especially with the added sight of her chowingdownon that cheesesteak. “No shit. But that doesn’t answer my question.”

Another sigh, this one heavier. I figured she would ask me eventually. It’s too-obviously a side effect of my injury.

“It started as a ‘fuck it’ moment where I just wanted to destroy my body,” I admit. “And then it kind of grew on me. It became this weird form of stress relief, and after that, it was just a habit.” I shrug. “So bottom line is, I don’t really have an answer for you.”

She cocks her head. “I guess it doesn’t really matter at this point. You’ll probably walk any day now, and then you’ll have to quit because of our deal.”

“I basically already have,” I murmur, more to myself than to her.

She frowns. “What?”

I shrug again, trying to play it off. “I haven’t really been smoking lately. Only time I do is when I light one out of habit or when I’m stressed.”

Her mouth drops open. I want to tease her about the lettuce stuck between her teeth, but instead, something very different comes out of my mouth. Somehow, acknowledging the fact that I’m smoking less feels…freeing. This disgusting habit that I only picked up as a way to self-destruct feels way less needed than it used to.

“You know what I hate about it?” I ask, suddenly animated. “It kills my taste buds. Food tastes different when I smoke. It makes everything bland.”

Lily’s nose scrunches adorably. “That sounds horrible.”

“It’s the fucking worst. Between that and not being able to work out the way I want to, I feel like I haven’t been able to enjoy food in two years.” Absentmindedly, my gaze drops to my plate. “Or not until recently, I guess,” I muse.

When I look up, that same glassy look from earlier is back in Lily’s eyes. But this time, I don’t run from it, I just accept it with a smile and say, “You have lettuce in your teeth. By the way, what’syourfavorite food?”

She goes bright red and fumbles for her phone so she can pull up her camera app. I chuckle at the way she demurely picks the lettuce out, turning so that I can’t see her do it.

I’m finishing off the last bite of my sandwich by the time she turns back. Her eyes widen at my plate as I go for the mozzarella sticks, but she still answers my question.

“Um, probably Hungarian food. It’s my comfort food.”

I pop an entire mozzarella stick in my mouth. “That’s meat and potato dishes, right? Would I know any specific ones?”

“Goulash, maybe. It’s a beef stew.”

“I didn’t know people even made stew still.”

“Somewhere, my poor grandmother is turning over in her grave,” she mutters. When I give her a confused look, she explains, “My dad’s mom was Hungarian. She’s one of the reasons it’s a comfort food—the other is that Ilovea good meat and potato dish. But a lot of the famous ones are stews.” Her eyes light up with excitement. “Their food isincredible. You would love it.” And then she hesitates in a way that has my focus zeroing in on her next words. “Maybe I’ll make you some after you’re discharged from the clinic.”

The air becomes suddenly thinner. Because that’s not a casual comment.

That’s a future comment.

I don’t get a chance to respond to it—if I even could—because static suddenly crackles through the speakers and the MC’s voice sounds out.

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