He inhaled sharply but didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he placed his glass down on the coffee table and folded his hands in his lap. “I still don’t understand how this is important to you, but, truthfully, I’m too exhausted to find out. And I don’t know what he has told you, but—”
“He told me the truth, Jule,” I interrupted softly. “That he tried. That he wanted to be there for you, but you wouldn’t let him.”
His lips parted, but no words came out. Caspian, still quiet, sat with his hands clasped between his knees, his gaze never leaving him. He wasn’t here to fight or argue. He was here to closure.
Finally, Julian exhaled and looked down. “I hated him,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “He…” He stopped and looked at Caspian, wanting to address him directly. “You weren’t around much. Hell, I was little, but I knew you tried. But I was just so angry. You were busy with your acting, and I thought that…if I cut you off like Mom wanted me to, you wouldn’t get the chance to leave me, and it wouldn’t have hurt as much.”
Caspian let out a breath through his nose, rubbing his palms together. “Julian,” he said, his voice low and filled with so many emotions. This was hard for him, too.
“I get it. I really do. I wasn’t always there, but I always made time for you until your mother wouldn’t allow it anymore. And when you got older, you never gave me the chance to prove that I could be there for you.”
And he would’ve been an amazing father to Julian. I was sure of that.
Julian swallowed hard, and for the first time, he looked truly regretful. “At the time, I thought I was doing what was best for Mom and me. She did a damn good job at raising me. So why would I have needed a father who wasn’t around all the time?”
Caspian leaned forward slightly, his eyes softening. “You did need me, Julian. You needed a father, even if it wasn’t in the way you thought. And I wasn’t perfect. I should’ve fought harder, I should’ve tried harder. But you also needed to know that I never stopped loving you.”
Julian shifted uncomfortably, his eyes moving to the coffee table as if he were trying to process everything that was being said. The silence stretched again, but this time, it wasn’t as suffocating. There was something fragile, like a thread about to snap, but it was still holding them together.
“I know,” Julian murmured, his voice small. “I know that now. but when you were gone, I didn’t know what to think. I was angry, and I didn’t know how to make sense of any of it. I saw you on TV all the time. On billboards. On the damn news. It hurt so much seeing you everywhere and not having you close. It was easier blaming you. Easier to think you didn’t care.”
Caspian’s throat tightened, and he reached out, resting his hand on the arm of the couch. “I never stopped caring. And I’m sorry I didn’t fought even harder to be in your life. Your mother truly made it hard for me. But I’m here now. we’re both here, and I want to make this right, if you’ll let me.”
The words hung in the air, and Julian seemed to be contemplating them, torn between the years of hurt and thepossibility of healing. He wiped his hand across his face, taking a shaky breath before meeting Caspian’s gaze for the first time fully.
“I’ve been so fucking scared,” he admitted quietly, his voice breaking slightly. “Scared to forgive you, scared to let myself trust again. But I can’t keep holding on to the past. It’s not helping either of us.”
Julian kept on surprising me with his words. But the more he said, the cleared it was to me that Julian had truly struggled with this. He had felt the same pain as Caspian—only Julian had inflicted it himself.
Caspian’s eyes softened even more, and I could see the weight he’d been carrying for so many years begin to lift. It wasn’t a quick fix. This wasn’t a moment where everything would be magically repaired, but it was a start.
“I never wanted you to carry that burden alone,” Caspian said, his voice rough but sincere. “If you would’ve let me be there for you, I would’ve been. I’m here now, and I won’t stop trying to show you that.”
Julian swallowed hard, his eyes glossy now. “I’m not perfect either. I’ve…I’ve said a lot of things I regret not. To you, to Mom…and to myself. But maybe we can start over. I don’t know how, but I want to try.”
There it was—the first step toward something new. Something that had been impossible for years, but now, it was there…and there was still a big secret between us that couldn’t come out just yet.
Shit…I was ruining this.
I managed to get them to talk, and now I was the one thing standing between them.
I turned my head and looked at Caspian, wondering if he thought the same.
When his eyes met mine, he immediately understood why I looked so worried.
His jaw tightened, and it took him a moment to figure out what he would say next.
I didn’t expect him to keep this thing between us a secret, but I wasn’t sure he would open up about it just yet.
He cleared his throat and looked at Julian again, smiling tightly. “We don’t have to have it all figured out right now. We’ll just take it one step at a time.”
There was so much hope in his eyes and voice.
“Yeah,” Julian said, his smile as tight as Caspian’s. “One step at a time.”
The conversation was far from over, and there would be more hard talks, more moments of tension for them. But it felt like the beginning of something real. Something worth fighting for.
As Julian stood, walking to the kitchen to refill our glasses, I looked at Caspian once more. His gaze met mine, and he reached for my hand, squeezing it. “I know what you’re thinking. But I need this now. With Julian. I need this to work.”