Page 72 of Lesson In Faith

The Mistress’s mouth dropped open. “Excuse me?”

“Tamsyn—”

It was the only word he got out before Violet slapped him, her hand striking his cheek as she vibrated with ethereal fury. Even with his beard absorbing the blow, she packed a punch. “How much of a fucking idiot are you, Merrick? Christ, you’re not only a fool, you’re a coward. I never thought I’d say this, but she deserves better than you.”

Well, fuck.

Merrick ignored the urge to rub his hand over his heart where the barb bit deep. Being called an idiot he could take. Coward… that was a hard insult to swallow. It was those last five words that really got under his skin and sank their claws into him.

Violet wasn’t finished with him yet, however. Practically seething with righteous anger, she smacked her palms against his chest and shoved him. “Are you so fucking blind you can’t see what she’s giving you? If it’s true about this…community, she’s not just spreading her wings and learning to fly, Merrick. She’s been taught that sex is a contract, one that likely leads to her death.”

He braced to block another blow as her accent thickened.

“She’s willing to give herself to you without restriction despite the fact she knows it could be the last thing she does. Because she loves you. Because she trusts you. And you…” Violet scoffed in disgust. “You’re as bad as the people she ran from, trading her off to another man—not because the trade has value, but because you’re a fucking coward who is so scared of hurting her physically, you’d rather detonate a shrapnel bomb in her heart and scar her down to the soul.”

Merrick took a step back. She was intent on getting her point across, regardless of how blunt she needed to be, wasn’t she? “How many times do I have to repeat myself, Violet? This isn’t about me. I’m trying to do what’s best for Tamsyn.”

“If you’re still spouting that line, you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said. Stubborn, idiotic man,” she muttered to herself. “Forget it, Merrick. You’ll do whatever harebrained scheme is in your head and pull Fordham into it with you. But mark my words, when you fuck yourself so royally that girl can’t stand to be in the same room as you, don’t come crawling to my door, asking for my help. It won’t be open.”

Slamming her hand against the door, she shoved it open so aggressively, Merrick thought he should probably be grateful all he’d gotten was a slap. It wasn’t friendly, laidback Vi stalking through the doors back into the bar; it was her alter-ego, the fierce and protective Mistress Violet.

He stood there in the cold, running the last few minutes through his head. There was no doubt her perspective was right; in fact, it was an angle he hadn’t even considered. Maybe because he was too close to the situation? Perhaps he didn’t want to think about Tamsyn wondering whether losing her virginity would lead to her death.

Hell, did she believe that of him?

That he could be inside her, move inside her, and then snuff her out like she meant nothing?

Of course, she could. She’d been raised among men who obviously committed murder once they got their rocks off. How many of them played the system, claiming they were dissatisfied with theproductthey’d bought, just so they could do it all again?

What was the lure?

Fucking virgins or murdering them?

It was something he needed to make clear to her. Sex shouldn’t be a life or death choice, for fuck’s sake, and while he recognized she was smart enough to know he wouldn’t harm her at any goddamn point, it wouldn’t hurt to dispel any doubts she harbored.

Violet’s accusation that he hadn’t listened to her was gnawing at him. He understood where she stood on the matter, and if he was honest, he was right there beside her. Yet he was wounded she believed he’d make a decision of this magnitude without taking Tamsyn into account.

What the hell was he supposed to do?

Did Vi honestly believe he wasn’t sick at the thought of another man essentially laying claim to what was Merrick’s? That another fucking man got to be the one who watched those gorgeous tawny eyes widen in awareness, darken with pleasure, focus onhimas her world evolved?

Pressure built inside him, an endless eruption of steam with no way out as his mind spun in a circle between the only two viable options. There was a third, but there was nothing in heaven or hell that would make him let her walk away, out of his life, without fighting for her every step of the way.

Spinning around, Merrick gripped the porch railing in both hands, hunching his shoulders, and bellowing into the dark night like a dying bull moose. The sound bounced around the heart of the club, resonating off buildings, startling a couple walking hand in hand back to their cabin.

In forty years, he’d never been so torn. Normally, he didn’t give a flying rat’s ass about other people’s opinions, but Violet was part of his inner circle, his best friend. If it came down to being a demon in her version of events or Tamsyn’s…

His little owl took precedence, every time.

He heard the door open and without looking around, growled, “Go away.”

It closed again, but all the hairs on his body stood to attention before a familiar presence pressed against his back. Arms looped around his waist; a cheek rubbed against his shirt. He felt her silent demand to help hum inside him as clearly as if she’d spoken.

“Little owl,” he murmured, covering one of her hands with his. “Go back inside, darlin’. It’s too cold for you to be out here.”

She fisted her hand in the front of his shirt and didn’t move.

Her point was clear—I’m not going anywhere unless you come with me.

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