Page 31 of Lesson In Faith

“I’m going to tell you something. There is a man out there who will treasure you for who are you. Scratch that, he will dote on you, adore you, and you will be the center of his world. Don’t settle for less than that.” He added a darker, warning edge to his voice now because he wanted her to sit up and pay attention. “There will also be men, a lot of fucking men, who want you as nothing but a trophy, a notch on their bedpost. They’ll be nice, charming, but they won’t see you, darlin’—the only thing on their mind is what’s between your legs. You’re more than that, you understand me?”

That must not have occurred to her, because she gave him an incredulous look that insinuated he’d lost his mind. Maybe he had—after all, he was giving a woman fourteen years his junior a lecture on who she should and shouldn’t give her virginity to, while she sat onhislap, wearing nothing buthisshirt, andhiscock was wondering what it needed to sacrifice to be the one to claim her.

Not just once, not just twice, but for forever.

She took a few moments to consider what he’d said. Her thoughts ticked through her head as though they were sheets of paper, and she picked each one up, absorbed it, then set it aside to reach for the next.

Her teeth chewed pensively on her lower lip as she nodded absently.

What the hell was she thinking?

Finally, she huffed a little and wiggled to sit straighter on his lap. Of course, his cock gleefully accepted that as a sign and thickened under her ass. She tried to vocalize whatever she wanted to say, but all that came out was a series of rasping squeaks that were too cute for her safety.

Instead, she laid her hand on her heart, then moved it to press above his own.

Dread filled his stomach. “No. Tamsyn, no.”

She repeated the gesture, tapping her fingers on his chest this time.

“Did you forget the part where I’mnotthe right man for you?” Merrick demanded.

Some of the life flickered back into her eyes, kicking aside that awful dullness and sorrow. The smile she gave him was part-mischief, part-understanding, and a whole lot ofI don’t care. Whatever she’d decided, she was content with it, even if it set his nerves on edge.

Patting his cheek gently, she squirmed off his lap and headed for the bathroom.

Of course, she only made it two steps before her knees buckled, but Merrick was already on his feet, one step behind her, and he scooped her up as she toppled toward the carpet.

“Your feelings are your own, little owl,” he told her gruffly, sweeping her toward her destination. “I’m gonna guess you haven’t had a lot of love thrown in your direction if you’ve hooked onto me after only a few days, and maybe that’s okay if you need to feel close to someone after… whatever happened. But there ain’t nothing gonna come of it, hear me? I won’t encourage or reciprocate those feelings. There sure as hell won’t be any sex.”

Tamsyn hummed in agreement, nestling her head into his shoulder. If he ignored how thin she was and the awkwardness of her cast, she actually fit against him perfectly; he appreciated a sense of balance in his life and she was the short to his tall, the slender to his bulk. Even when she put weight on, she would still settle in his arms easily.

No.No,no, fucking no.

It was all well and good warning her that he wasn’t the one she needed, that a physical connection wouldn’t be possible, but he hadn’t expected to require a stern caution himself. Unless he censored his own damn thoughts, he’d find himself in an untenable position of his own making, and she’d follow him blindly into the hell of an unsustainable dynamic.

It was time to go back to work, remove himself from prolonged periods of contact with her until he contained the errant thoughts and carnal urges to fuck her. Surely if he searched through the list of subs waiting to scene with him, he’d find one with masochistic urges strong enough to handle taking his frustration.

Failing that, maybe he could convince one of the other Doms to partake in some bareknuckle boxing in the employee gym. Some good old-fashioned flesh-on-flesh violence was almost a satisfactory substitute for down and dirty fucking.

Following their usual bathroom procedure, Merrick set her on her feet beside the toilet and waited until she was safely sitting down before retreating to stand outside the door. Once he heard her finish up and flush, he went back in to slip a supporting arm around her waist and guide her to the sink to wash her hands and freshen up after her crying jag.

But this time, he hesitated before lifting her into his arms again.

If he continued to carry her everywhere, she was never going to regain her strength. There were muscles in her legs, slim and weak, but she’d trekked through the forest to find Serenity, so there was an inner strength as well.

Offering her his arm, he encouraged her to walk, which brought an excited smile to her mouth. Her soft, pink mouth that would look amazing swollen from kisses,hiskisses.

Fuck’s sake, he was a monster.

A horny, old-enough-to-know-better monster.

Tamsyn’s pace was slow and tottering, her feet shuffling carefully as she weighed each step and the stability of her joints. Her knees threatened to give way twice, making her cling precariously to his forearm, which made him feel like a fucking god.

To give credit where credit was due, she actually made it halfway back to the bed before her slow progress came to a grinding halt. Sweat glistened along her hairline, her hand trembled on his arm. Her legs didn’t buckle this time, they just collapsed from under her.

“Good effort, darlin’. We’re gonna work on building your stamina.” Merrick picked her up and finished the second half of the journey in seconds. “For now, how about I get you some juice and we start the whole dinner fiasco over again?”

She hummed softly in acquiescence.

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