Page 137 of Lesson In Faith

Evidently, her voice was gone again. She opened her eyes slowly, the tawny brown soft with submission and misery. Swallowing hard enough for her throat to click, she simply stared at him with those eyes so trustfully, he felt like an utter bastard.

“Are you cold, darlin’?”

All he got was a little headshake.

Starting slow, he let his hands glide over her upper chest, around the balls of her shoulders, down her arms. Soothing away the subtle tremors in her muscles, he adjusted her right arm on the rest, draping the first strap over her bicep and loosely buckling it on the first hole.

He swore she stopped breathing.

“Remember where you are, Tamsyn. It’s just me; I won’t hurt you.” Trailing his fingers down her forearm, he strapped her wrist. “You don’t have to be afraid of restraints. Don’t think of them as a weapon being used against you; use them as a connection to me.”

Yes, she definitely wasn’t breathing. Her face wore the strained look of a woman whose body was realizing something was wrong.

Merrick ran his knuckles over her sternum, between her breasts. Up and down, light as a feather. “Control the fear, little owl. Look at me and take a breath. Bet it feels like there’s a boulder lodged on your chest, right? Suffocating you, crushing you. Push it off. Take a slow, deep breath and push it off your chest.”

When she finally managed to obey, her inhale was neither slow nor deep, but a savage wheeze of desperation. Her free hand flailed in the air; he captured it in both of his, rubbing her cold fingers gently.

“Good girl. This is gonna happen a lot,” he predicted, lifting her knuckles to his lips before laying her arm down on the rest. Again, he buckled her bicep in first, but the second leather strap fastened over her forearm, above the healing break. “The straps are loose, Tamsyn. Probably doesn’t feel like it to you, but take a look.”

Eyes bewildered, she dropped her gaze to her arm, shuddering at the sight of the dark brown leather bisecting her pale skin. Even when he demonstrated how slack they were by sliding three fingers beneath them, she still wore an expression that told him she was expecting to be brutalized at any moment.

Yet she didn’t fight, didn’t yank at the restraints or thrash.

Was that trust in him or simply another consequence of her conditioning?

Merrick cupped her breast, teasing her flat nipple with sweeping drags of his thumb over the disinterested bud. “Bravery deserves a reward, little owl. Every time you overcome the fear, I’m gonna make you feel good. Make it to the end and you’ll lose your breath for a whole different reason.”

Her nipple beaded under his thumb; he bent and replaced callused skin with the warmth of his mouth, sucking until the tiniest moan accompanied the tentative rise of her hips. Because he was a man of equal opportunities, particularly when it came to breasts, he was just as attentive to the other one.

When he quietly fastened the next strap across her ribcage, the whole debacle started again.

Chapter Fourteen

Tamsyn

She’d lost her voice again.

It seemed so unfair to find herself in hell again after escaping it the first time. This was worse—she was awake and aware of whatever torture Merrick was planning, and it didn’t matter that itwasMerrick looming over her or that his intentions weren’t malicious.

The leather straps didn’t put any pressure on her skin at all—he hadn’t lied when he said they were loose—but they still felt like steel traps biting into her flesh. The one resting beneath her breasts was akin to a girder compressing her chest.

The only thing stopping her from losing her mind completely was the physical connection formed between his hands and her body. There was confidence in his touch and, more than that, compassion. When he stroked her arm or teased her nipple with his tongue, she forced herself to remember how he always tried to avoid hurting her unnecessarily.

Was this necessary?

She knew he made a good point about needing medical care in the future. Accidents happened, didn’t they? Emergencies cropped up where time was of the essence and precious minutes spent fighting her panic could be put to much more effective use.

Yes, it was necessary, but by God, she wished it was over.

Stifling a whimper when a buckle jingled, she dragged a breath through her constricted throat. Cool leather slithered over her hips, warming to the heat of her skin, and pinned her to the demonic contraption beneath her.

Merrick’s voice rumbled softly while he worked, strapping her down at the thighs and ankles. She couldn’t hear the words through the brutal beating of her heart, but she was accustomed to reading his face, his eyes, and all she saw was concentration and—when he studied her intensely—the love of a man whose world revolved around her.

Wasn’t that just wonderful?

“Tamsyn? Tamsyn, focus.”

Huh? Blinking, she stopped watching the shape of his mouth as it formed words and flicked her gaze up to his. Some of the tightness in her throat eased when he smiled at her.

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