Page 122 of Lesson In Faith

“Oh really?”

Tamsyn’s eyes narrowed, and suddenly all her attention was solely on the woman across from her. How did she know what level Merrick was on? Surely that information was reserved for women he’d been intimate with… oh. “You slept with him?”

“Slept with isn’t quite accurate. My Daddies staged an intervention after an incident with some nasty members. Masters Levi, Merrick, and Fordham helped.” Color filled Sierra’s face as she rubbed her bearded cheek against her shoulder. “Master Fordham tied me up with Shibari, and then they all—”

Anarchy cleared her throat abruptly. “Sierra, sweetie, read the room.”

They all what? Bewildered, several scenarios flitting through her head, Tamsyn stopped fidgeting with her juice and stared at the redhead. “Did they hurt you?”

“In a way, I guess, but not how you mean. I have—had—huge self-esteem issues, mainly because of my beard. My first lover wasn’t the kindest man; he used me for a long time before Liam came into the picture and changed my world, but what he did left an impression.” Clever fingers pausing mid-stitch, Sierra met her eyes. “I couldn’t love myself even though Liam did. I couldn’t see myself the way he or Mack saw me. As a last resort, they asked the Masters to help redefine how I viewed myself, teach me how to love myself as much as they do.”

Still confused, Tamsyn frowned. “So… they hurt you to make you love yourself?”

A slow, beautiful smile curved the other woman’s lips. “No. Shibari—being tied up with ropes—made me feel safe. It’s like being wrapped up in strong arms, firm and secure like a weird hug. What hurt, in the beginning, was what they said as they fucked me. Lovely things, complimentary stuff I couldn’t believe because of what Wyatt spent years telling me. The sex was amazing, but what they did with their words really made a difference. They didn’t give me any choice but to open my eyes and see that one man’s selfishness doesn’t extend to men as a whole.”

Sympathy washed over Anarchy’s face. “What Sierra isn’t telling you, Tamsyn, is that this was last year, long before you stumbled into Merrick’s life and stole his heart.”

She rubbed her hand over her own, where an ache formed. There was no reason for her to be jealous; Merrick hadn’t been a virgin when they met, she knew that. He was a gorgeous man in the prime of his life—sexually, physically—and it stood to reason he’d had lovers in the past. Maybe she just hadn’t expected to discover he’d used his skills in bed as a healing tool for broken women.

Dejection filled her when she realized she was a broken woman, too.

“A Dom doesn’t get the title of Master without good reason, Tamsyn.” Anarchy laid her hand on the cast. “At our club, it’s awarded to Doms who elevate themselves above the rest through their deeds. Some men are teachers, some are exceptional at one skill or another, but they all have good hearts and a strict moral code. Evander wanted the same leadership and guidance here at Serenity—the same sense of family and community that brings the membership home when they visit. Masters step up when they’re needed, will help anybody when asked.”

She hadn’t asked, Tamsyn thought sadly. She hadn’t spoken a single word, but Merrick went out of his way to help her. Was that all she was, an obligation his moral code told him to stick a ring on in order to keep on helping her?

“I also know from personal experience that when a Master falls, he falls hard. They guard their hearts like Fort Knox because they spend so much time around single submissives who aren’t suitable for them in a romantic capacity.” Wiggling her eyebrows, Anarchy lifted her left hand to show her wedding ring. “I fell in love with Jasper when I met him. My heart took one look at him and plopped at his feet; it was game over for me. For over a year, I followed him through the club, watching him scene with other subs and never choosing me. Not once. It was killing me slowly, night after night, until he made a decision that broke us both.”

“But… you’re so happy.”

“We are. Back in the beginning, it was messy. He knew I had feelings for him, and he was determined he wasn’t the right guy for me. No way, no how. The big, scary sadist didn’t think I could handle his brand of pain and wasn’t prepared to give me the opportunity to prove him wrong. Jasper’s the kind of sadist who needs to cause pain to get hard,” she added in an undertone. “Instead of dealing with the situation, he handed me over to Atticus—another Master and a very good friend—while he disappeared. When he came back… well, his heart had already chosen before he ran away. Life wasn’t sunshine and roses for a while, but everything worked out the way it was supposed to. What I’m trying to say is, when they give their heart, they give it all.”

Tamsyn licked her lips. “I’m marrying Merrick.”

A delighted smile spread over Anarchy’s face, lighting up her eyes. “Congratulations, sweetie! That’s wonderful news! Ha, Jasper owes me twenty bucks, the sucker. I told him Merrick was gone over you.”

“Y-You did?”

“Well, duh. The man can’t keep his eyes off you, and if you’re not in his line of sight, his mind’s wherever you are.” Excitedly, she reached over and poked Sierra’s arm. “Our girl hooked the silver fox, Sierra. Another wedding!”

Childlike glee made the redhead bounce in her seat. “Yay! I always thought I’d pity the woman who fell for him, just because of his… you know… but that’s obviously not an issue for you. He needs someone like you, Tamsyn, and you deserve to be loved by a man like him.”

Did she really deserve him? Before the thought planted bad roots in her brain, she was distracted by Anarchy’s whoop of enthusiasm.

“Do you have a date set? We need to go shopping. There’s a spa here, right? We should have a spa day, and we need to find you a dress, and—”

A shocked laugh bubbled free. “I don’t think we’ll have time for that.”

“There’s always time for that.”

“Apparently, there’s some paperwork we need to do. After that… I want to belong to him. Now, today. We were meant to talk to Evander after the cast came off, but now that Linnie’s…” What was a polite word forgone insane? “Otherwise engaged, that’s not going to happen anytime soon.”

“That’s not a problem. Give me a second.” Reaching into her hoodie, Anarchy pulled out her phone and pressed a couple buttons. The speakers buzzed three, four times, before the call was answered.

“Can’t you stay out of trouble for more than ten minutes, kitten?”

That voice. Oh no, that voice sent chills down her spine.

“I could if I tried, Sir,” Anarchy purred. She grinned at Tamsyn. “Your medical skills are required in the clubhouse, Master Jasper, if you have time to help.”

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