Page 80 of Lesson In Faith

A sob heaved out of her, her stomach muscles forcing a plaintive cry into the open.

“Merrick!”

It was garbled and hoarse, sounding more likeMerk, and it wasn’t until her throat felt scorched that she realized the word came from her. Dissolving into a whining, sobbing mess, she chanted his name over and over again.

“Good girl, Tamsyn. It’s okay.” In a heartbeat, Fordham was no longer on top of her. Grabbing the blanket from the foot of the bed, he bundled her into it and picked her up, stroking her back as she sobbed Merrick’s name into his shoulder.

When he strode from the bedroom, she just cried harder.

*

Merrick

He’d smashed every glass in the cupboard and put his fist through the wall.

Not his finest accomplishment, but it gave him a physical release for the guilt and frustration eating through him like acid. How the fuck did doing the right thing feel so much like he was on the wrong side of a slippery slope?

Christ, he shared women regularly without a shred of any of these conflicting emotions. It was one of his favorite pastimes.

But this woman is supposed to be yours, the irritating voice in his head mocked.

The urge to destroy more inanimate objects was strong. He wanted to break everything within reach, raze the cabin to the ground, tear out his fucking heart and stomp on it until there was nothing left but bloody dust beneath his heel.

Beneath it all was the powerful sense of betrayal.

He stayed in the kitchen, unable to listen to the sound of his woman being fucked by another man in their bed. Even as he cleaned up the mess he’d made, his body braced for a scream, a high cry, a fucking sign this nightmare was over with so he could take a damn breath.

It was the first time in his life he could ever remember being so damn conflicted.

Fuck, it was too early for a drink.

Hell, he didn’t know what to do with himself. What did the spare wheel do for his woman when she lost her virginity? It felt weird to be on this side of the equation; he was more used to being the one who strung up a willing submissive for a flogging before returning her back to her Dom for aftercare than the other way around, and he didn’t like it.

When the sound of hard, desperate sobs came from the bedroom, his head whipped up and around. Hurrying to the door, he heard strange, plaintive cries ofMerkinterspersed between heartbreaking hiccups of breath.

He met Fordham in the hallway, his gaze immediately falling to the blanketed figure in his friend’s arms. He saw Tamsyn’s dark head, how she hid her face in Ford’s neck as that mournful chant ofMerkcontinued.

“What the hell happened?” he demanded.

Blue eyes met his directly. “She’s made it perfectly clear I’m not the one she needs. You tried to do the right thing for her, Merrick, but this isn’t it. As soon as I put my weight on her, she started trying to say your name and hasn’t stopped.”

Merrick blinked. Was that whatMerkwas supposed to be? He was shocked enough that she was making a discernible word, but knowing it was his name? It slayed him.

He stepped forward, reaching for her, and relaxed for the first time since their argument in the bathroom when she twisted in Fordham’s arms to lean toward him like a toddler desperate for her daddy.

“I’m sorry, little owl,” he said when she was safely in his hold. “I’m so sorry.”

“Merk. Merk.” Her tear-dampened cheek pressed against his as she went limp on a shuddering exhale. Fresh tears rolled into his beard.

“Appreciate you trying,” Merrick said quietly to Fordham.

Naked and unconcerned, he just scratched an itch on the back of his neck. “I think you’re going to have to just bite the bullet and give her what she wants, Merrick. Good intentions and big dick aside, you’ve got yourself one hell of a woman. Don’t throw her away.”

“That isn’t what I was doing.”

“I know. In your position, I’d probably consider doing the same.” Ford jerked his thumb toward the bedroom. “I’ll get dressed and leave you two alone. Mind if I offer some friendly advice?”

Merrick supposed he owed him that, at the very least. “Sure.”

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