Page 30 of Lesson In Faith

Before Merrick realized what he was doing, his arms reached out wide. “Come on, little owl.”

She shoved the covers away, revealing the shirt—hisshirt—that hung off one fragile shoulder, it was so big on her. Launching herself at him, she collided against his chest, burrowing her face against his neck. Warm breath gusted over his skin in panicked bursts.

Fuck, she was thin. As his arms curled around her gently, he swore he felt her bones rubbing together when she moved. Fragile was the perfect word to describe her current condition; she was a crystal doll, so delicate all it would take was one wrong knock to shatter her into tiny, unfixable shards.

“I’m sorry, Tamsyn.” He rubbed his short beard over the top of her head as his hands stroked her shaking back. “I’m sorry we hurt you. I’m sorry if we left you feeling bereft and rejected; you don’t deserve that. I know you don’t understand why we were arguing, but I’m sure you remember what I said, right?”

She nodded, another sob jerking her slight frame.

“That’s what hurt, isn’t it?”

His shirt was getting damp, soaking up her quiet tears.

“Thought so. I didn’t say it to upset you, Tamsyn. That’s the last thing I want. There are a lot of reasons why I couldn’t be with you if you formed an… attachment to me.”Attachmentwas a poor substitute for what he actually meant. “Sex isn’t the highest priority on your list, little owl. Don’t fall for the first guy who shows you affection or tries to convince you he’sthe one, and for God’s sake, don’t let your heart make the decision on its own.”

Apparently his comforting technique wasn’t as honed as he believed—she just cried harder, her body shaking with disconcertingly silent sobs. Maybe he shouldn’t say anything at all for now, let her cry it out of her system. She obviously needed to purge it.

Deciding his brain was smarter than his mouth at the moment, Merrick said nothing more and just cradled her as she was, rocking from side to side in a rhythm he’d never done before. It just seemed natural, and it soothed some ragged part of him, too.

Losing track of time was easy with her. He was a man who prided himself on punctuality, control, immaculate time keeping, yet all it took was a silent ghost in his life to obliterate it all.

When her sobs finally drew to a halt and her body shook with tiny tremors instead of bone-shaking shudders, Merrick eased her away to look at her face. Fuck if she wasn’t still beautiful despite her swollen eyes and red-blotched skin. Even the tears and mucus weren’t detracting from the core appeal of her, and he really wasn’t the kind of Dom who got off on degrading a sub until she was a snotty, dilapidated mess.

Humiliation wasn’t a hard limit for him, but he did have a limit.

“Probably doesn’t feel like it now,” he murmured, sliding his thumb over her damp cheek, “but that will take a huge weight off your shoulders. Crying is an equalizer, balancing out emotions. It’s a tool, not a weakness.”

She snuffled sadly, leaning her cheek into his hand.

Damn her, she wasn’t even trying to pull his heartstrings, yet she did so perfectly.

“Are you ready to listen now?” he asked gently.

A tiny, hesitant nod.

“Good girl. Linnie and I shouldn’t have had that conversation in front of you. She believed you were sedated enough you wouldn’t retain any of it, but that isn’t the point. We were discussing something that involves you, and we both believe our opinion is the right way to protect you. The only one who can make that decision is you.”

Tamsyn grimaced slightly.

“Yeah, not an easy choice to make,” he started to say, but broke off when she jabbed a finger pointedly in his chest. The intent behind the poke made a very clear statement. “You want to stay with me.”

This time, her nod was decisive.

“We can work with that. Do you remember what I said about not being the right man for you, Tamsyn? Virginity aside,” he said when she puffed up indignantly, “I still wouldn’t be the right man. Innocence doesn’t fare well in my company, and you’re innocent down to the roots. I take pleasure from pushing limits, from rough and dirty sex. The things I do to women are consensual, but they’re… they’re not roses on the sheets and candlelight flickering on the walls.”

She cocked her head as though she didn’t understand; her eyes searched his face through the puffy slits of her eyelids.

“How old are you? Thirty?”

Her frown wasn’t as affronted as it should be if he’d guessed too wide.

“Twenty-five?”

Mouth twisting, she held up a finger.

“Twenty-six.” He nodded when she made a quiet sound of agreement. “I’m forty, little owl. That’s fourteen years between us, which might not seem like much, but when you weigh up that extra fourteen years in experience, it is. I know what I need, I know what I like, and you have to discover those pleasures for yourself. Maybe you’ll like pain, but I’m not willing to ruin you for the sake of finding out.”

She looked so forlorn, he couldn’t stand it.

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