Page 22 of Lesson In Faith

In comparison, the second worry was foolish.

It was, however, the most pressing concern.

“You’re supposed to eat the toast, little owl.”

Her eyes darted to the doorway and the man filling it. Her heart did the strange littlebuh-bum-dumit always did when Merrick was near, like it skipped a beat or added another one in whenever she saw him.

He padded in on bare feet, glancing at the fire before crossing over to sit on the edge of the bed. Plucking the cold toast from her grasp, he dropped it back on the plate, then ran his knuckle over her cheek. “No appetite, huh?”

She shook her head slowly.

“Know what day it is, don’t you?”

She tipped her head into her shoulder, away from him. She’d learned quickly that he was adept at reading her—not just her expressions, buteverythingabout her. Letting him see her eyes was akin to splaying her mind open and offering it on a platter.

Without commenting on her avoidance, Merrick lifted the cold cloth from her wrist and hummed in approval. “This looks good, Tamsyn. I know it’s been a long few days, but I think Linnie will be able to cast this today.”

A shudder ripped through her at the mention of the doctor.

Since Merrick brought Tamsyn home to his cabin, the time had passed in a flurry of shock, trauma, sleep, and the blessed TV. Pain underscored every moment, but the meds in the IV kept it manageable. She knew Linnie came every day to check everything was as it should be, but she liked to block those visits out by sleeping.

Today was the first visit when she would be awake and fully aware of what was going on around her.

Merrick’s fingertips pressed against her cheek, drawing her face back to him. “Some questions have been raised, little owl. Difficult questions. Given your condition, we believe there’s a possibility you were abused when you were… wherever you came from. Linnie didn’t see any signs you’d been recently…” He growled softly under his breath. “When she put the catheter in on your arrival, she didn’t see anything to say you’d been recently violated in a sexual context, but there are concerns that it’s part of your history.”

Tamsyn didn’t need a mirror to tell her she was a glorious shade of humiliated red.

“She’s been wondering if that’s why you’re so phobic about medical stuff.”

She shook her head adamantly. She supposed it was linked, everything linked back to the community and its practices with women, but she could guarantee rape wasn’t part of it.

The community doctor, Dinan, might be a member of high standing, but even he would be held accountable for his actions if he sullied a woman not of his name. Whatever he did once he administered the sedative, defiling a commodity wasn’t it.

“Have you ever been raped, Tamsyn?” Merrick asked gently.

Another vehement headshake. More heat added to her already vibrant blush.

She saw relief drop over his features like a guillotine blade, obviously erasing some unspoken fear. At least she set his mind at ease on that score; she didn’t have much to offer him, but maybe relief was a small gift with a big impact.

“Did anyone assault you? Touch you where you didn’t want, without your permission?”

Oh, now that was trickier than a yes or no answer. The elders were always grabbing a breast or a buttock, and some of the more forward ones were brave enough to manhandle between a woman’s legs—over their clothes, of course—with a possessive clutch of fingers. Especially if the elder was single and in line to take his next wife.

She hesitated a moment too long.

“Oh, darlin’,” Merrick murmured softly, cupping her cheek. “I’m sorry.”

She lifted a shoulder in a lackluster shrug. It wasn’t something she could change, was it? In truth, it could’ve been much worse. Her father was one of the highest ranking elders, currently on his fifth wife since her mother’s death, and he’d held the right to trade Tamsyn from the moment she turned twelve.

Trades were routinely made five minutes before midnight, and the binding contracts signed on the hour. Girls were made into wives before the grandfather clock in the great hall finished the twelfth chime.

For fourteen years, Jedidiah dangled the threat of marriage over her head to ensure her obedience, telling her she would stay in her childhood home as long as she conformed to his rules.

For fourteen years, he’d stayed true to his word until the lucrative trade he’d been waiting for came along.

“You don’t have to worry about that here.” Merrick’s eyes were dark, the green turbulent, and his voice matched them. “I’m not above breaking bones to keep you safe, Tamsyn. Until we find out where you’re from and get you back where you belong—”

She recoiled so violently, she forgot about her arm. Bringing both hands up to protect herself from an imagined blow, pain sheared through her bones, almost wrenching a scream from her mummified vocal chords. The noise she made was a strangled, keening wail.

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