Page 47 of A Forever Home at Honey Bee Croft

‘Me too. How grown-up are we keeping it together like that?’

He laughed and clinked his glass against mine. ‘To adulting.’

I had zero regrets about our relationship ending but equally had none about our marriage. It worked for many years and then it didn’t and what we had now worked brilliantly too.

Phil cocked his head to one side, and I knew what was coming next – the question he always asked me when we had some time alone. ‘Anyone special in your life?’

I shook my head. ‘My time’s divided between Dad, the bees and work so I barely ever meet anyone, not that I’d have time to see them even if I did. What I really need is a time machine so I can travel back a few years, meet someone special and get so settled in a relationship that he understands and accepts the me of today – the person who’s usually too drained at the end of the day to do anything other than cuddle in front of the TV. Someone who understands that, although I have to prioritise other parts of my life over him, it doesn’t mean I don’t love him.’

‘I wish I had that time machine for you. I’d send it into the future to find a cure for Alzheimer’s and MND.’

I placed my hand over his and squeezed. ‘If only you could.’

My parents had always treated Phil like a son, and they’d remained close to him after the divorce. He’d attended Mum’s funeral and had visited Dad in The Larks on several occasions. The first time Dad didn’t recognise him had hit him hard too.

‘So, how has your week in Yorkshire been?’ he asked.

‘Exactly what I needed. I hoped to get caught up with work, but I’ve actually got ahead. I’ve accepted that it’s okay not to visit Dad every day which is a massive breakthrough for me. And a couple of huge, unexpected bonuses are seeing you and meeting Cole Crawford later. Oh, and I’ve slept brilliantly most nights – must be all the fresh air I’ve been getting. Could have done without the nightmares about Damon, though.’

Phil already knew about the coffee I’d had with Damon last year and why I’d agreed to it, so I brought him up to speed on recent events. He was shocked to hear that Damon had turned up at The Larks and that he’d repeatedly turned up at Dove Cottage while I’d been away.

‘I wish he’d leave me alone,’ I finished. ‘I can’t face going back and having the same conversations with him over and over again.’

‘You shouldn’t have to. As it’s not getting through to him, is it worth speaking to his mum?’

‘I’ve thought about it, but how do I phrase it without sounding petty?Your son keeps asking me out and won’t take no for an answer. Can you have a word with him please?’

‘How about this?Your son keeps turning up at my house without invite and now he’s started turning up at my dad’s care home. It’s scaring me and, even though I’ve asked him on numerous occasions to stop, he refuses because he seems to believe we’re meant to be together. I’d appreciate any help you can give in getting the message through to him that we’re not.’

It sounded pretty serious when he put it like that, but I couldn’t deny that it was how I felt. Maybe I’d given Damon too much slack because I’d known him from school and our mums had been friends. Maybe itwasmore serious than I’d realised.

‘I’ll see how he is when I get home and, if he turns up again, I’ll definitely go and see Jenny.’

Our conversation moved on to my thoughts around putting the house on the market. I’d thought a lot about it this week and had concluded it was the right thing to do. Dove Cottage deserved to be lived in by someone who loved it and that person was no longer me. While I had hundreds of happy memories from the past, the more recent memories weren’t so happy and it was time to make a fresh start – somewhere with a smaller garden closer to The Larks for Dad and Saltersbeck Farm for the bees.

‘I understand selling Dove Cottage,’ Phil said, ‘but I’m not convinced buying somewhere near The Larks is the best idea. You’ve said yourself that breaking the habit of visiting your dad every day has been liberating and I’m worried that, if you movecloser, you’ll find yourself falling back into the daily visiting pattern. And when the worst happens and your dad’s no longer with us, where does that leave you? Tied to somewhere you don’t need to be anymore. I know renting can seem like wasted money, especially when selling Dove Cottage will give you the funds to buy your own place outright, but renting gives you the flexibility to do what you want – put your stuff in storage and travel for a while, move somewhere different or just take some time to decide what you want from life. Maybe that will still be a beekeeping accountant in Gloucestershire but maybe it’ll be a beekeeper only in Devon, Pembrokeshire, Lancashire or?—’

‘East Yorkshire,’ I said, without even pausing to think about it.

Phil raised an eyebrow at me. ‘Where you’re staying has really captured your heart, then?’

‘It’s beautiful. I love the house, the countryside, the farm next door, the people. Amber says they’re thinking of getting hives on their farm and she showed me where. It’s perfect, Phil. I imagined I was their beekeeper, selling the honey and my Honey Bee Hugs range in the shop they’re setting up and…’ I tailed off, rolling my eyes at him. ‘It was a nice little daydream.’

‘Why does it have to be a daydream? Why can’t it be reality?’

‘Because even if I was brave enough to up sticks and start over, I couldn’t do that while I still have Dad. With any luck, he has years left in him.’ My shoulders slumped. I knew that wasn’t true. I’d devoured all the factsheets and guides I could get my hands on. I knew full well that late-stage dementia was the shortest of the three stages, typically lasting between one and two years. And that was before factoring in Dad’s age. The sadness in Phil’s eyes told me he was thinking the same. I cleared my throat and continued. ‘By that time, they might have got in a beekeeper already and have all their shop suppliers sorted.’

‘Why do you have to wait until your dad’s gone?’ Phil asked. ‘Why not now?’

‘It’s too far from The Larks.’

‘So move him out of The Larks. Your dream home and job could be right here. Mary’s doing her house up to sell it so why don’t you buy it? Why don’t you be the beekeeper at Bumblebee Barn and get Honey Bee Hugs up and running again while Stanley is in a care home nearby?’

‘What about my clients?’

‘You wind up your business or, if that’s too big a financial risk, you offer a virtual service. If they don’t like that, that’s their loss, but I reckon most of your clients would go for it.’

It was a long time since I’d felt positive about the future but what Phil had just described sounded like an absolute dream to me. Why hadn’t I thought about moving Dad? The birds were the reason he loved The Larks so as long as I found somewhere he could sit and watch birds, he should be fine. Or would he? I’d need to get Marnie’s advice on whether moving Dad could be detrimental to him.

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