Page 40 of A Forever Home at Honey Bee Croft

‘Are you sure you don’t mind me joining you on Saturday night?’ I asked, feeling like Barney should have a say. If he said the right words but didn’t look convinced, I’d make my excuses later, but he smiled widely.

‘It’s our pleasure.’

Milo coming in over Barney’s walkie-talkie prevented any further chat. Amber kissed Barney goodbye over the gate and we clambered back onto the quad bike to go the short journey to the field they were thinking of for the beehives.

‘I haven’t done any research,’ Amber said as she pushed open a barred gate into the chosen field, ‘so I have no idea if this would be suitable.’

The field was lush pasture with a spattering of wildflowers bursting between the grass. Surrounded by trees on two sides, it had the perfect combination of direct sunlight but shady areas.

‘Is that a pond?’ I asked, noticing an area of water in the distance.

‘Yes, a natural one. It gets bigger when it rains heavily, although it doesn’t flood the whole field or anything like that. It doesn’t dry up in the summer as there’s a spring which feeds it. What do you think? Any good for hives?’

I turned in a circle, taking it all in, nodding slowly. I could picture the rows of hives, hear the buzz of the bees, smell the woodsmoke and the mesmerising mix of honey, beeswax, resins and pollen. I felt the same peace and contentment here as I did at Honey Bee Croft, happy memories flooding my mind of tending to the bees with Dad, always learning from him and feeding off his passion and enthusiasm. What I wouldn’t do to be the beekeeper here!

‘It’s perfect, Amber. Any beekeeper who gets this as their apiary is very fortunate. It’s accessible, away from people and animals, it has light, shade and water and it’s not visible from the road so unlikely to attract vandals. Your beekeeper might want some sort of storage shed or container but it’s not essential. I used to keep my stuff at Saltersbeck Farm but there was a break-in so I keep it in the van now.’

‘Someone broke into your storage shed? Why?’

‘For a laugh. It was kids being stupid.’

‘I despair of people sometimes. Who breaks into a beekeeper’s shed for a laugh? I hope you got your stuff back.’

‘I did, but it was damaged, so I had to replace it anyway. Mindless.’

She tutted. ‘When I was filmingCountryside Calendar, we came across some awful cases of mindless behaviour, but for every instance there’d be several lovely examples of peoplecaring for animals or neighbours which restored my faith in human beings.’

I smiled at her. ‘Most of them are good. My next-door neighbour Wilf is amazing. He’s in his eighties but he’s always looking out for me. I look after his Yorkshire terrier, Benji, when he’s going somewhere he can’t take dogs but I’m pretty sure he brings him round more than he needs to because he knows it takes the edge off the loneliness.’

My voice cracked as I said the final word and I drew in a sharp breath. I’d only recently admitted to myself that I was lonely so what on earth had possessed me to blurt that out to someone I’d only just met? What must she think of me?

‘Wilf sounds lovely and so does Benji,’ Amber said, smiling at me gently. ‘I’m sorry you’re lonely. I know how that feels.’

‘You do?’

‘How about we go back to the house for a cuppa and we can talk about it?’

‘You’re sure you have time? I don’t want to impose any more than I have already.’

‘Right now, I have all the time in the world. Let’s get back and pop the kettle on.’

Still stunned with myself for telling Amber I was lonely, flight mode kicked in when we made it back to the farmyard and I was so tempted to make an excuse and leave, but I could hear Mum’s voice in my head –Do one thing every day that scares you. Talking about the loneliness which had plonked itself down beside me when Mum died, wrapped itself around my body when Dad moved into The Larks and squeezed tightly the day he no longer recognised me didn’t just scare me. It terrified me but,as I followed Amber across the farmyard, my stomach churning as she made us both a mug of tea, I knew I was going to let her in. And that was also scary.

We sat down opposite each other at the large kitchen table and she fixed her eyes on mine. ‘So, talk to me about your loneliness.’

And I did. Out it all came. How Dove Cottage had once been a place full of warmth and laughter, but all I felt now was sadness and loneliness. How my elderly neighbour’s dog was the best company I had most weeks and how I lived for the days Wilf asked me to dog sit. How my two best friends had both ditched me and made me feel worthless. And how, weirdly, I hadn’t felt lonely at Whisperwood Farmhouse despite being in a strange place on my own.

Amber told me about how she hadn’t realised she was lonely until she met Barney and then she faced up to how she’d avoided returning to her London flat between filming because she’d known she’d be lonely there.

‘I know you said you don’t feel lonely at Whisperwood, but how about you meet a few more people? Some of my bridesmaids are coming round tonight to help me prepare the wedding favours over a couple of glasses of bubbly. It’ll give you a chance to meet some of my friends which means you’ll know more of us on Saturday and, to be honest, we need all the spare hands we can get. We’ve got a lot of favours to sort.’

I stared at Amber, feeling quite overcome with emotion. She’d invited me to her wedding, given me a dress, shown me round her farm and now she was inviting me to spend an evening with her friends. She had to be the kindest, friendliest person I’d ever met and I already felt sad at the thought of not seeing her again after the weekend.

Driving back to Whisperwood Farmhouse a little later, I felt as though I’d been enveloped in a fluffy blanket. I hadno idea that people you’d only just met could be kinder and more thoughtful than those who you thought were your closest friends. In a couple of days, Amber had shown me more about what friendship looked like than Shauna and Jo had across all the years they’d been in my life.

Not long after I got back, Phil rang to confirm that he’d managed to shift things around and would be able to join me at the wedding. He couldn’t stay late as he’d have a very early start the following morning, but was free to meet me at the hotel at four, giving us a few hours to catch up before the evening do started.

‘I’ve also taken the liberty of booking you a room at Fennington Hall,’ he said. ‘It was the last one available so it’s fairly basic, but it means you can relax and have a few drinks. And don’t even think about asking me how much you owe me because this is my treat to you as an apology for not being around more when you’ve been going through so much.’

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